- But what the hell.
(Originally published on Theatrehead.com)
I�m a theater person. I�m a feeler. I like to touch things, I like to get physical. Tell me to be a piece of bacon I will gladly roll around on the stage, popping and sizzling all over myself with joyous abandon. Tell me to be a wild animal and I�ll get all crouched up, stalk and growl and steal your tofu burger with lightening speed. But tell me to get involved in an Internet site dedicated to theater and I�ll stare at you blankly as if I just got stuck in an emotional recall exercise. Theater and the Internet? They�re incompatible, they don�t mix. Dedicating an internet site to theater is like dedicating a film festival to soccer. Soccer people don�t want to watch films about soccer, they want to get muddy and kick each other in the head. Same with theater people. It�s not like we hate computers or don�t know how to use them, hell these days, computers are so easy even dancers can use them. The problem is our attitude about computers. Even nowadays, I have this prejudice about computers. They seem so�left brainy.
But this is an outdated prejudice. And completely unfounded. The internet is pure right brain splendor. Oh sure, nothing will stop your ass from spreading in all directions if you spend every hour of your day in front of a computer, I mean it isn�t very physical, but it certainly is touchy-feely. The pictures are flashy and the colors make my cones and rods dance around, it�s a great electronic fix for my artsy, Attention-Deficit-Hyperactivity-Disordered actor�s brain. So why doesn�t it seem theater-friendly? Perhaps it�s my assumptions about the audience.
The live theater audience has obviously rejected all the conveniences technology has to offer. They are so above the soundtracks, lightening-fast editing and silicone-enhanced L.A. spokesmodel-turned-actresses. They would rather sit in folding chairs and use their "imaginations" listening to almost indecipherable neo-philosophical gibberish instead of getting comfy in those oversized movie seats and letting the Matrix Have Them while Keanu interjects a heartfelt "Woah." These people aren�t going to get in front of the computer while they�re trying to get their Theatre groove on. It�s simply too pedestrian. The Internet, like TV and movies, generally caters to the lowest societal denominator and they�ll have none of it. Plus they don�t get to say, "She was so close she could spit on me" or "Yeah you could really smell the B.O."
So if theater is going to integrate with the internet, how do we bring this audience along, especially when many of us are so resistant ourselves to combine the worlds oldest (non-paying) industry with it�s newest technology? I say leave them all behind! They�ll be just as happy strolling through the museum looking at those color splotches that are supposed to be impressionist art. The new Internet savvy theater audience is poised with mouse in hand waiting for theater to arrive on the Internet. Having shuffled off the old audience, how do we entice the new? With internet-friendly theater initiatives like the following�
LIVE NETCAST - The most obvious benefit is the live broadcast of the show in the net � it takes the play to anyplace in the world and none of the audience members have to deal with the chewing noises the guy in the fifth row is making. And better than that, since no one has to actually go into the theater and the Internet is the domain of the people, it�s the perfect way to ensure that people in theater will never make money. That is, unless they master�
CLICK/BANNER SPONSORSHIP � Bordering the simulcast screen, the savvy internet/theater producer can have sponsorship banners from "Amazon.com", "CNN.com" and "Wet&WildCheerleaders.com"
LIVE SHOW CHAT � More fun than those interminable "Aftershow Discussions", this allows the patrons to discuss when the questions are fresh in their minds without disturbing anyone, with insightful observations like "Is this a parallel motif?" and "What�s up with those pants?"
MULTIVIEW ACTORCAM � Get different angles of the action. With technology advancing so quickly, those PC cameras can be no bigger than those lavaliere microphones used in large spaces where distance or film-trained actors require a sound-boost. With actor cams, the viewer can follow the action from any angle, even backstage. And speaking of backstage�
WOMEN�S DRESSING ROOMCAM � Because� well because it�s the Internet. I say we walk boldly into this brave new world. Viva la Internet!
-E.A.P.