Chapter 5
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I was kept extremely busy during the next couple of weeks training for my first swim meet. I was a quick learner and in four month�s of lessons I had learnt all the basic strokes and perfected a racing flip-turn. Apparently my coach recognized my improvement and she allowed me to choose the categories I would compete in. It didn�t surprise me that I felt more at home in the water than I ever had on its frozen counterpart but it seemed to surprise a lot of other people. Dominic, who had fully supported my decision, was so shocked at the news that I was competing that he vowed to come and watch my future practices. On the evening of the meet, mom sent me to bed early. I was too excited to fall asleep and I eagerly slid Dominic�s diary from under my bed. I skimmed through numerous entries, looking for another really important one. *diary* July 9th Maija arrived home from university to spend the week with me. . . July 20th I found Allison crying in the locker room today. She adamantly refused to tell me what the matter was. I rubbed her back until her tense muscles relaxed. At that point I drew her to me, intending to give her a friendly hug (well, maybe slightly more than friendly) but the second that my grip tightened, she cried out and ran away. I can�t figure it out. She seems to feel as strongly about me as I do about her, but the episode today has me completely confused. I can�t even figure out why she was crying in the first place. Was it something I did? Is Allison having problems with Andrei? I�m worried about her. *end diary* Dominic may not have known why mom had cried out, but I had a feeling I did. The incident mirrored what had happened in the kitchen last week. Dad had been up to his �games� even then. *diary* August 4th Andrei disappeared for the weekend, supposedly to a coaching conference although I have my doubts. I certainly hadn�t heard anything about a conference. To take Ally�s mind off his absence, I took her and Maija to see a movie at the theater. Naturally, to keep certain tempers at bay, I sat between the two women. On the way home from the cinema, Ally teased me incessantly about my choice of a romantic comedy. I tried to explain that it was Maija�s favourite genre, but my fianc� denied the fact saying that she would have preferred action. Liar. September 25th After a quiet day spent training, I headed home to my bungalow for a solitary dinner. Moving my feast of frozen pizza to the living room, I collapsed on the couch and started flipping through channels. I needed some atmosphere for my scrumptious meal after all. Landing on a movie I knew and loved, I consciously began to relax my muscles. It was a perfect ending for my lonely, depressing day. The movie was nearing the conclusion when the doorbell rang. I darted up, yanked it open, recognized the knocker and tore back to the couch. �Make yourself at home,� I called from in front of the television, �I�ll be with you in five.� I then returned my full attention to the screen. Moments later, a lithe form settled down next to me. �Good grief Nick! How many times have you seen Notting Hill?� �Not enough. Now hush, favourite scene.� William ~I was just wondering if this Mr. Thacker realized he�d been a daft prick and begged you to reconsider whether you would in fact reconsider.~ Anna ~Yes, I believe I would.~ William ~Excellent. The reader�s of Horse and Hound will be absolutely delighted.~ Assistant ~Howard if you�d like to ask your question again�~ Howard ~Certainly. Anna, how long are you planning to stay here in Britain.~ Anna ~Indefinitely~ I tore my gaze from the TV in time to see a smile snake its way across Allison�s face. �See, you can complain all you want about my taste in movies but the truth is you enjoy romantic comedies as much as I do.� �I�ll let you believe that if it makes you feel like less of a sissy.� She teased, brown eyes sparkling mischievously in a freckle-covered face. Unwilling to allow even so pretty a woman to so vilely insult me, I scooted closer and began to tickle. Experience allowed me to focus on the more sensitive areas of her anatomy and within seconds Ally was laughing hysterically. It was the first unforced laugh I had heard from her in weeks. Thinking of her downcast mood recently reminded me that I had yet to inquire as to why she was at my door at 11:00pm. Immediately the smile faded from her face and her glorious eyes dulled. I felt a twisting in my gut for the loss of something so beautiful. Uncomfortable, Ally began to fidget with the fringe on my afghan. �Allison,� I prompted gently, trying to ignore the surge of feeling that made me want to hold her until everything was alright. �It�s just that Andrei came home drunk again. He wasn�t thinking straight and I was a little scared.� My partner admitted, the sheer terror in her eyes belying her casual tone. �You didn�t bring Ana with you. Aren�t you worried about her?� �Andrei loves that little girl. He would never hurt her!� �But he�d hurt you?� Receiving no reply, I plowed on, �Doesn�t he love you too?� Tears welled up in her eyes, threatening to cascade down her cheeks. Despite the hold she was futilely trying to maintain on her emotions, a single glistening tear overflowed. Forgetting my earlier inhibitions, I reached across and brushed my hand down her cheek. She leant in, resting her against my palm. I relished the closeness, while feeling guilty about it. Then I started cursing the fact that I was feeling guilty. I loved Allison. I let go at that point, releasing any and all restraint. I gave into my emotions. I pulled Ally closer, moving my other hand up so I was cupping her face. I took her lips with my own. Slim hands skimmed up and down my back pausing on my shoulders as Ally deepened the kiss. I reveled in the feel of her soft lips against mine, the subtle taste of HER. I pulled the clasp from her hair and ran my fingers through silky locks. I craved the feeling of her skin against my own. I slipped my hands under her shirt, exploring strong, supple muscles and sensuous curves before lifting the flimsy material over her head. The sight of her perched on my lap in her lacy black bra created a disorientation of my senses akin to the affect of several extremely intoxicating drinks. Dazedly, I felt her limber fingers unclasping the buttons on my shirt. A throaty laugh escape as, in my impatience, I attempted to aid her with my own fumbling fingers. Despite my incompetence, it eventually came off and Allison pressed against me, flesh meeting flesh. My hands snaked over her hips, removing her jeans as they continued down. At last all barriers were removed and I made love to my beautiful, beloved partner. *diary* Shouldn�t he have put a rating above that or something? I continued reading, a slight blush creeping over my cheeks. *enddiary* Later, I lay quietly holding Ally�s sleeping form protectively. Her tousled blonde hair spread across my chest, and one arm remained wrapped around my neck. My repressed doubts resurfaced and I wondered again if I had made the right choice. As much as I loved Allison I had made a commitment, a promise, to Maija. I made a point to always keep my promises. I drifted into a restless sleep, where nightmares assaulted my defenseless mind. Waking up with my partner in my arms was not the satisfying experience I had always imagined it to be. I felt guiltier than ever; dirty, deceitful, undeserving of her love. And she could feel it. Ally gathered her clothes and left without a word. *enddiary* I started to cry. They were so perfect, so right together. Yet the situation was so painful, so difficult, so�wrong. It wasn�t the fairytale way that things were supposed to work out for them. Neither of them deserved plight they found themselves in, but nevertheless, they were in it and even from my removed vantage point, I couldn�t think of a thing they could have done to get out of it.
