Chapter 4
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Worlds. It came and went and not even our first silver medal could get me out of my numb state. Never before had a poor competition managed to keep me down so much and for so long. I had always bounced back in a matter of days with an upbeat attitude, but that wasn�t the case this time. At first everyone was sympathetic, caring, and very understanding was unusually quiet or reclusive. And I was grateful. But months later, it was still bothering me and the slump was starting to bother everyone-including myself. People on tour began to get easily fed up with me. Andrei exploded at me in practice on a regular basis, and Svetlana often cast a disapproving eye on my solemn face. Eye rolls on tour were not uncommon if I were to push aside my reputation as a party girl and instead decide to sit quietly. Somehow this had changed my personality. I spent so much time along, trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted from life. It was like I was experiencing the adolescence I�d never had. To add to all my stress, Nick wanted a decision as to next season. He was all go, and I wanted to let him have his dream of being a world champion. Not just his dream, both of our dreams, I had to remind myself many times. I was afraid that if we bowed out now, all that would be remembered was the devastating Olympics. Yet the fear of failure was ever-present. If we came back and lost, we would be the couple who didn�t know when to give up, the couple that couldn�t face the facts. All these things were weighing down on me, and none of my emotions came out. I hadn�t cried since Salt Lake, and my only escapes were the occasional chats with Jenny. �I hate feeling like I�m not allowed to be sad, Jenny. Like I�m a horrible person for not being the person I was before.� �Ally?� She questioned, after a pause heavy with thought. �Yeah?� �Did you ever think that maybe it�s not just the Olympics that have been weighing down on you for so long?� She seemed as though she was acquainted with the idea and had considered it before, but was hesitant to bring it up. �What do you mean?� �When was the last time you went on a date?� She said. It seemed to me like she was changing the subject, and I rolled my eyes. �It�s been a while, and you know it Jenny O�Neal. Guys suck. They break your heart.� I said with a biting tone in my voice. My relationship with Charles Wickham had left me bitter and protective of my heart. �My heart is still firmly in tact, thank you very much.� She said, and I could hear the grin spreading its way across her face. �Yeah, well, then Matt�s the only guy in the world that doesn�t break hearts, and he�s taken.� I scoffed. �Nick wouldn�t break your heart.� If anyone had been in the room at that moment they�d have seen me visibly wince. I didn�t know if I was going to start crying or yelling or throwing a temper tantrum, but I ended up keeping everything inside, just as I had been for months. Even worse, I didn�t even know why that had upset me so much. �That�s because Nick would never have my heart to begin with.� I retorted coldly. �Ally, have you seen the picture I sent you of you two dancing at the one reception you were so vehemently opposed to attending?� She asked quietly, not wanting to tread past her limits but determined to make a point. �Maybe.� My voice dropped lower than hers as I glanced at my dresser, where the photo was sitting, showing a rather good looking couple smiling at each other, looking as if they were in their own little world. I�d wanted to just pack it away in a box, but I couldn�t bear not to look at it sometimes. We both were quiet until the incessant beeping signalling I had another call interrupted. �Jenny, I have to go. Call waiting.� �All right, Ally.� She sighed. �Promise me you�ll call again soon?� �I will.� I consented, and then flipped over to the other line. �Who the heck is it?� I shot out, then felt bad for taking out my frustrations on an innocent caller. �The King of Spain would like you to join him for tea tomorrow morning at the ice rink at 6:30 AM.� Said a distinguished voice that was about to crack up. �Good day to you, too, Dominic Kraatz.� I spat. The fact that he would call when I wanted more than anything to talk to him, and wanted more than anything to forget about him had hit a sore spot. �Hey, Allison. Andrei wants an extra practice before we join back up with Champions on Ice.� He said good-naturedly, not fazed by my attitude. �Do I have to?� I whined. �The thought that anyone could make you do something you didn�t fully want to do is absolutely mind boggling to me. He can�t quite force you, but it certainly wouldn�t be a horrible idea.� Nick commented dryly. �I�ll be there.� I conceded regretfully. �If I must.� I put on a Queen Elizabeth diva-like tone. �You may tell the king that while he has considerably poor taste for tea drinking hours, I shall gladly attend. And messenger sir, do cut your hair if you can fit it into your oh-so busy schedule.� A small smile flitted across my face, and Nick laughed openly. �As you wish, highness. Although I think I may have the hair covered.� He said secretively. My jaw dropped. �You cut it!� I squealed. I�d been nagging him to just for my own enjoyment for some time, but I didn�t expect to wear him down for some time. �I have to see it!� �Practice, Allison. Show up if you want to see the hair.� He taunted me. �Hmph.� I pouted, wishing that we were in the same room so I could effectively flounce off. �Fine.� �See you then.� He said in a friendly tone, and I hung up. My eyes flitted across the room to the mirror and I was amazed that the empty, miserable face of five minutes ago now had eyes that were alive and wide, true smile adorning it.
