Chapter 5
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I arrived at the rink the following morning in an exhaustion-induced stupor. Sleep had not been plentiful for me the previous night, and after a glance in the mirror I realized the rest of the world would see it as well. Even though I could usually paste on a smile to brighten up my face, it all seemed pointless today. Seeing Nick�s haircut had brightened my mood momentarily, but it sunk again as I laced up my skates. We stepped on the ice and began warming up. My focus was wavering, though. Exhaustion was one reason. The conversation I�d had with Jenny was another, and the idea of me concentrating with that alone was almost impossible. Every time I�d gotten on the ice lately I�d started to worry about the decision I had to make, and I could almost feel my eyes welling with tears as my mind swirled. Someone had slipped a CD on, and the words filtered through my daze, registering in my mind. Oh mirror in the sky what is love Can a child within my heart rise above Can I sail through the changing ocean tides Can I handle the seasons of my life The words seemed sad, poignant, and oddly appropriate for the crazy shifts in my life. It seemed as though everything I�d ever known or cherished was sliding out of my grasp. Even if we did decide to for another year of competing, it would be with a different attitude, knowing that the end would be coming. And if we gave it up-I felt a pain of regret at the thought of it all ending. The late night practices when we were determined to finish up choreography. The morning practices the next day when we�d forgotten all we learned. The heartbreak, the joy, all of the emotions that came out after a competition. I�d cried myself to sleep so many times after a competition, regardless of the result, just because I had so much stress on myself. I was always worrying, always wanting to uphold my side of the partnership. I could hardly imagine the world without all these things I was used to. Well, I've been afraid of changing 'Cause I built my life around you But time makes you bolder Children get older Well I'm getting older too Goosebumps crawled over my skin as the words sunk in and my thoughts seemed to mirror the song�s words. I was afraid of change. Afraid of the possible change in profession, afraid of another looming change that I constantly shoved to the back of my mind. The words reverberated around the ice rink, and I closed my eyes briefly to try and mentally retain them. And then-splat. I was jolted out of my thoughts to find myself lying face first on the ice. Tears dripped from my eyes, a sharp pain coming from my knee and chin. I�d caught a toe pick, just like I did when I was younger-and whenever I failed to pay attention to what I was doing. I hastily made a mental note to save my deep thoughts for times when I wasn�t on the ice. �Allison?� Dominic knelt on the ice, lifting my upper body up. Despite the tears running down my face, I remembered the many times I�d done this, and a small giggle slipped out of me. �Are you all right?� I nodded, and found myself laughing a little more. I closed my eyes briefly, and spoke almost without intending to. �Nick.� �Yes?� He responded dutifully. My outburst had obviously shocked him. �I�ll do it.� I whispered, but he still stared at me in shock. �Next season, I�ll skate it.� I hadn�t planned on saying, hadn�t expected to say it, hadn�t even though I had the issue resolved. Funny the things you know without even realizing it. All of a sudden he started hollering like a little boy again. �Wooooooooooooo!� He screamed, and another burst of giggles emerged from me-closely followed one of tears. I sat back on my knees, crying and laughing, having forgotten any ounce of pain. Dominic paused from his shouting to turn back to me. �Thank you.� He whispered, brushing away some of many tears on my face. �Thank you.� I felt a few more tears sliding out, and a beaming smile appear. Brushing away even more tears from my face, I realized my chin was bleeding slightly, and I had a feeling there�d be an ugly bruise on my knee. I glanced at Andrei across the ice, who was just staring at us. �Ally, you ought to go get cleaned up. I�m going to work with Beth and Sergei for an hour. Please come back then and be ready to work. It seems to me that we�ve got a couple programs to choreograph.� Andrei directed us. I smiled even wider thinking that we�d be choreographing again. Nick stood, and offered me his hand. I took it, rose to my feet, and skated off the ice with him. �You know,� I said to Dominic as I put on my guards, �I should�ve known all those medals would come in handy someday.� �Care to elaborate?� He requested. �Well, I caught my toe pick like a beginner, was laughing, crying, bleeding slightly, and you were hollering like there was no tomorrow. You think any other team would�ve been able to get away with that?� I pointed out. �Maybe not.� He agreed, and we both went to get ready for a real practice.
