2) I will stop asking why the rum is gone.
3) I will not name the monkey "Jack."
4) I will stop forgetting he is Captain Jack Sparrow.
5) I will not blame the French.
6) I will not trust a parrot to speak for me.
7) Nor will I take advice from said parrot.
8) I will not be surprised that the pirate cheated.
9) Will's obsessive sword-training is not compensation for something else.
10) I will stop speculating on Orlando Bloom's tendency to act alongside males with braided beards.
11) I will stop looking for Gimli.
12) No one needs to hear the pirate song again.
13) I will stop asking everyone why it's called "Davy Jones' Locker."
14) Nor will I continue to ask where they found clothes for the monkey.
15) I will not petition for all of Will's lines to be cut just because I want to hear Jack talk more. -Aquara
16) I am not disinclined to acquiesce to anyone's request. -Qualli
17) I will not refer to Commodore Norrington as "Norri." -Qualli
18) Norrington's wig is not a plaything. -Qualli
19) It is a wig, not a toupee. -Qualli
20) It's none of my concern exactly what Jack can do all by his onesies. -Qualli
21) Swashbuckling should be left to the professionals. -Qualli
22) "Aye! Avast!" does not a pirate make. -Qualli
23) Eunuchs are not a laughing matter. -Qualli
24) I will not insist of making Jack strip so that I can find the other twenty-five letters. -Qualli
25) Unless, of course, he insists. -Qualli
26) Will is not Elizabeth's plaything.
27) Will is *Jack's* plaything. -Qualli
28) "Pirate" is not an excuse. -Qualli
29) Unless you happen to actually be a pirate. -Qualli
30) I will not call dibs on the booty. -Qualli
31) Will is not booty. -Qualli
32) Wooden eyes are not "kinda sexy." -Qualli
33) I will not actually believe anything Jack tells me. -Qualli
34) I will stop blowing holes in Jack's ship -Qualli
35) Bootstrap's bootstraps were not fetish props. -Qualli
36) Jack does not wear more make-up than a Tortugan whore. -Qualli
37) And even if he does, I'm still not allowed to proposition him. -Qualli
38) If I insist on associating with pirates, I will just have to get used to the smell. -Qualli
39) It is not Elizabeth's fault that she is a Mary Sue. -Qualli
40) I will not accuse Jack of having a back hair fetish. -Qualli
41) The "P" on Jack's arm does not stand for "Princess." -Qualli
42) Legolas was not reincarnated as a blacksmith. -Qualli
43) Consequently, I will stop finding significance in his affinity for axe-throwing and metal-working. -Qualli
44) Will's sword fetish is none of my concern. -Qualli
45) Gillete is not a bitchy little queen. -Qualli
