92) It is no mine, it's a tomb.
93) I will not tease those shorter than me.
94) The ents are not useless.
95) I won't tell the elf.
96) In competitions among different species, everything is proportional.
97) I will not drop eaves.
98) I will not critique the One Ring's poem.
99) If and when I trip, I will not hold up my ring finger.
100) I will not throw apples at hobbits.
101) No one wants to hear a three hour ballad.
102) Moths do not speak Elvish.
103) Elrond does not have a stick up his ass.
104) Legolas is not pregnant.
105) I will not play with Galadriel's birdbath.
106) I will not threaten to set elves on fire.
107) I will not refer to Saruman as "that old Queen."
108) Gimli does not get the girl. (though he does get the elf.)
109) Hobbits were not meant to fly.
110) Gandalf is not a hack.
111) The Gap of Rohan is not a clothing store.
112) Mirkwood is not the trailer park of Middle Earth.
113) Eating the hobbits is not a backup plan.
114) I will stop blaming all of my problems on costume jewelry.
115) Pans are for cooking, not self defense.
116) I will not dig up Bilbo's pantry.
117) I will not treat the hobbits as objects of lust.
118) I will not do that thing with my weaponry.
119) Hobbits don't bounce.
120) Dwarves do not make funny noises when you squeeze them.
121) The fellowship of the ring is not a publicity stunt.
122) I will not chase the elves.
123) There are no D's in Bilbo's name.
124) I will not eat foreign food without prior knowledge of its effects.
125) Swan boats are plenty manly.
126) I will not tease the hobbits about food.
127) Braiding each other's hair is not an acceptable means of male bonding.
128) It does not smell like elves.
129) Celeborn is not a prick.
130) I will not use black speech just to see elves squirm.
131) I will either stop stealing from Farmer Maggot, or become sneakier in my approach.
132) I cannot kill black riders.
133) A stupid plan is not better than no plan.
134) The Hobbits are not children.
135) The Hobbits are not pets.
