902) The carrot from Farmer Maggot's crop was NOT the right shape. -Nim
903) Elrond's theme song is not the "Doom Song." -Nim
904) Ringwraiths are not sexy. -Nim
905) Neither is the Balrog. -Nim
906) I will not sell the Elves to the highest bidder. -Nim
907) I will not beg Peter Jackson to give the twins a bigger part. -Nim
908) I will not shout, "Run, Forest, run!" during the Ents' Last March. -Nim
909) Sauron is not evil, just misunderstood. -Nim
910) I will not touch the water, nor will I disturb it. -Nim
911) I will stop calling Brego "Prego Pasta Bake Sauce" and Strider "Stridex." -Nim
912) I will not shout, "I see dead people!" during the Paths of the Dead scene. -Nim
913) I will not switch the lembas with Pop-Tarts. -Nim
914) I will be my own Sam, not Mr. Frodo's. -Nim
915) I will stop making references to how many times Elrond says the word "doom." -Rei
916) Legolas is not Aragorn's wife, nor Gimli their son. -Rei
917) Brego is neither a horse nor a spaghetti sauce. -SereneNuit
918) Garulf is not a horse, nor is Eothain a peasant boy. -Rei
919) No, I cannot keep Pippin, even if I swear that I'll feed him and play with him and walk him everyday. -Willocwen
920) He was *not* already dead. -Willocwen
921) He was *not* twitching. -Willocwen
922) I must not try to get out of being Ring-bearer just because gold doesn't go with anything. -Willocwen
923) Merry and Pippin are only friends. -Willocwen
924) Pippin does not scream like a girl. -Willocwen
925) Neither do the Ring-wraiths. -Rei
926) Frodo doesn't wear contacts, nor are his eyes digitally altered. -Willocwen
927) Merry's broken carrot was stolen for eating. Nothing else. (*shifty eyes*) -Willocwen
928) I will not whisper "Scene-stealing hussy." whenever I see Arwen. -Willocwen
929) I'll stick a sign saying that on her back instead. -Rei
930) The circle shape Gimli makes with his fingers in the ROTK credits is not symbolic. -Willocwen
931) Slash isn't canon. (Yes, it is.) -Willocwen
932) I will not copy/paste gay porn stories onto a website and convert the two males' names to Legolas and Gimli, Aragorn and Boromir, or Merry and Pippin, no matter canonical it is. -Willocwen
933) I'll just write my own. It's more fun that way. -Rei
934) I will no longer allow the Easterlings to borrow my eyeliner. -Rei
935) I will never refer to warrior braids as "handles" or attempt to use them as such.
936) I will not blame my newfound oil fetish on Faramir's near-death scene.
937) I will not get out the sticks and marshmallows during Denethor's death scene.
938) It is never appropriate to call Denethor a flaming queen just because, techinically, he *is* flaming.
939) I will not summarize the history of the Entwives as "turns out they were lesbians."
940) I will not defend the Easterlings just because their warriors wear mascara.
941) The drinking contest scene in RotK did not end with a wild, drunken Dwarf/Elf love scene, and that was not why it was cut. -Rei
942) There was, however, a "morning after" scene. -Rei
943) I will stop asking how the hell everyone in Middle-Earth knew exactly what time it was when they didn't even have clocks. -Rei
944) I will stop throwing coins and other shiny things across the room just to watch Thranduil chases after them -Rei
945) Galion was not *that* kind of servant. -Rei