857) I will, however, continue to send Frodo's. -Didde
858) I will stop telling Eowyn that Aragorn is single. -Jonas
859) I will stop making crude remarks over the dinner table about Eomer's love of horses. -Didde
860) I will stop spreading the word that Gimli was trying to look for dead female soldiers among the dead army because their clothes were see-through. -Jonas
861) I will not bring the king of the undead army to parties just so I can be known as the dude with the dead friend. -Didde
862) Just because Sauron was defeated does not mean you can spit in his eye. -Jonas
863) I will not introduce sugar to other's muses. -Rei (inspired by Roma)
864) I will not refer to Elrond as "Quest Nazi." -Rei (ditto)
865) I will stop asking about the Dwarf with the curly blond beard. -Rei
866) Neither Denethor, Saruman, nor Sauron use the palantir to watch gay elf porn on a regular basis. -Reggie
867) It is not acceptable to use my younger son as firewood, even if the older one bought the farm. -Reggie
868) Faramir has never mistaken Legolas for Eowyn in a drunken haze. -Reggie
869) And if he has, Legolas definitely didn't accept his advances. -Reggie
870) Denethor's death was not a result of one of Gandalf's firework shows gone wrong. -Reggie
871) Nothing went on between Gollum and the Rangers of Ithilien after they pulled him out of the Forbidden Pool. -Reggie
872) The Witch King did not hear about his death from the three witches in Macbeth. Nor are they related. -Birdie
873) Having short people ride on your horse with you is not setting a fashion trend (though only the blondes seem to do it). -Birdie
874) Gandalf did not go to "How To Beat Kick Arse With A Stick" class. -Birdie
875) Old Bilbo does not look like Grandmother Willow from "Pocahontas." -Birdie
876) Or a wrinkly prune. -Birdie
877) Elrond will never go to a council with short hair, sunglasses, and a business suit. -Birdie
878) I will not mention the invention of shoes to Hobbits. -Birdie
879) Grima Wormtongue and Peter "Wormtail" Pettigrew have nothing in common. -Birdie
880) ...And they do *not* make a good pair. (*cough*) -Birdie
881) I will not kick the Eye of Sauron, no matter how bouncy it looks. -Rei
882) Gollum is not an opera singer. -Morgil
883) I will stop singing like Gollum. -Morgil
884) I will not refer to Gollum as "E.T." -Morgil
885) Elrond is not an android. -Morgil
886) Dori was not Thorin and Co.'s bitch. -Rei
887) The One Ring would not "go great" with my prom dress. -Ryoko-Dono
888) I cannot bribe Sauron to make me a One Ring. -Ryoko-Dono
889) Nor can I promise him sexual favors. -Ryoko-Dono
890) Lurtz is not the Balrog and Sauron's love-child. -Ryoko-Dono
891) I cannot dye Legolas' hair pink. -Ryoko-Dono
892) Gandalf will not do my history homework. -Ryoko-Dono
893) I will not research the number 2931 just to get lembas. -Ryoko-Dono
894) My wizard cannot beat up your wizard. -Ryoko-Dono
895) Gandalf is not a tagger. -Rei
896) Bombur is not a plush toy. -Rei
897) I will not proposition captive Dwarves. -Rei
898) Nor will I accept their propositions. -Rei
899) I will not graffiti Isengard. -Rei
900) I will not attempt to discover if what I've heard about Elven ears is true. -Rei