47) Hobbits are not pillows.
48) I will not place bets on how long it takes Boromir to succumb to the ring.
49) No one wants to see my hairy feet.
50) Burping elvish ballads is not a shire custom.
51) I will not use my fame as a member of the fellowship to endorse lembas.
52) I will not toast marshmellows in the fires of Mordor.
53) I am not the lord of the rings.
54) Hobbits are not for juggling.
55) I will not refer to Legolas as "Captain Obvious."
56) Men are not weak.
57) Legolas does not look like a girl.
58) I will not call Galadriel "babe."
59) I will not meddle in the affairs of wizards.
60) Boromir does not cash in his chips around page eighty-eight.
61) Orc heads are not collectables.
62) I will not replace the pipe weed with grass clippings.
63) Balrogs are not pets.
64) Cave trolls are people too.
65) Gandalf is not a dirty old man.
66) It is not my job to pair off the fellowship.
67) I will not refer to Boromir as "the throne warmer."
68) I will not bring up the fact that Aragorn is marrying his sister.
69) A bow and arrow are not cowardly weapons.
70) The Balrog's bullwhip is not kinky.
71) I will not loan out the elf for supplies.
72) Haldir is not flaming.
73) Orcs are not the other white meat.
74) I will not steal Glorfindel's scenes.
75) The Orcs did not steal the cave troll from Hogwart's.
76) Gimli's beard is not flammable.
77) Just because I can split a dwarf hair with an arrow doesn't mean I should.
78) I will not walk on snow simply to annoy mortals.
79) "The Lord of the Rings" is not a musical.
80) I will not ask Galadriel if she is a good witch or a bad witch.
81) I will not speak a different language to frighten others.
82) I will save my horse stunts for when we are not in immediate peril.
83) I will not complain if all I get is a rope.
84) I will not tell the future king of Gondor he needs a bath.
85) Frodo is a ring bearer, not a bridesmaid.
86) I will not "trip over my bow" and fall into Gimli's waiting arms.
87) Hobbits do need their legs.
88) I will not encourage ents.
89) We will not talk to ourselves in front of hobbitses.
90) Dwarf women do exist.
