677) I will not harass the Elves. -Rei
678) It does not suck to be Pippin. -Rei
679)The Ents do not live in my closet. -Rei
680) Lothlorien is not a strip club, and I must not treat it as such. -Rei
681) The Council of Elrond is not the appropriate place to suggest a naked reenactment of The Silmarillion. -Rei
682) "The Lay of Luthien" does not mean what I think it does. -Rei
683) I will not ask the Hobbits to "blow the Horn of Gondor." -Rei
684) I will ask before I use Galadriel's Mirror to hold ice and beer for a frat party. -Rei
685) Figwit has feelings too. -Rei
686) If I insist on running light over snow, I must expect to be ambushed with snowballs. -Rei
687) I will not ridicule the nancy-prancy Elves. -Rei
688) Haldir is not the Lord of the Dance. -Rei
689) The four Hobbits in the Fellowship did not represent the Lollipop Guild. -Rei
690) The Elves are not hermaphrodites. -Rei
691) I will not ask an Elf if he/she is a hermaphrodite. -Rei
692) Lurtz did not have the hots for Aragorn. -Rei
693) I am not the reigning authority on all things Gimli. -Rei
694) It is not necessary for me to fill awkward pauses in conversations by singing snippets of Elvish songs. -Rei
695) I will stop inquiring as to how Gollum would eat a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. -Rei
696) I will not tape "Kick me" signs to Celeborn's back. -Rei
697) Lembas is not a Pop-Tart. -Rei
698) We will not refer to the hobbitses as "so juicy sweeeet!" -Rei
699) Haldir is not "luscious." -Rei
700) Gimli does not "shag Legolas senseless" at every opportunity. (*cough*Yes, he does*cough*) -Rei
701) Second-period psychology is not the appropriate time to practice my Gollum impression. -Rei
702) Shouting "Baruk Khazad! Khazad aimenu!" is not adequate foreplay. -Rei
703) Treebeard is not my literature teacher. -Rei
704) I will not stand behind Elrond and make faces while he talks to the Council. -Rei
705) Elrond's full name and title is not "Elrond Half-Elven, Agent of DOOM!" -Rei
706) I will not pinch Gloin's butt and then point to Thranduil. -Rei
707) Just because I probably could convince the Elves to Riverdance doesn't mean I should. -Rei
708) We must not bites the therapist. -Rei
709) It is cruel to taunt the starving Hobbits by dangling mushrooms just out of their reach. -Rei
710) I will not encourage Legolas to "go to his happy place." -Rei
711) I will stop leering at Elrohir and Elladan while making comments about doubling your pleasure. -Rei
712) Even if they are totally into it. -Rei
713) It is not at all acceptable to wear Gil-galad's circlet and dance around singing "I'm a pretty Elven-king!" -Rei
714) "I was drunk" is no excuse for allowing thirteen Dwarves to escape the inescapablt dungeon. -Rei
715) If the barrels seem unusually heavy, I will look inside. -Rei
716) I will not distract Thranduil with shiny things. -Rei
717) Eowyn was not flirting with Gimli, and as such, I should not send her threatening letters. -Rei
718) I will stop referring to Aragorn as the "red-headed step-child." -Rei
719) I will stop telling everyone that the Galadhrim don't know how to party. -Rei
720) Injured Dwarves do not require my immediate attention. -Rei