632) I will stop asking Elrond to do that thing with his eyebrows again. -Rei
633) I will not make out with the Dwarf at Helm's Deep just because we might not survive the night. -Rei
634) The Elves did not say "Screw you guys, we're going home!" as they boarded the ship to Valinor. -Rei
635) Elrond is not Glorfindel's bitch. Haldir is. -Rei
636) The Dwarf is not a toy. -Rei
637) I will stop asking Gimli to translate what he said to Haldir. -Rei
638) I'll ask Aragorn instead. -Rei
639) There is no deleted scene of Legolas and Gimli getting it on in the Glittering Caves. -Rei
640) It was Fangorn Forest. -Rei
641) I will stop teasing Legolas about having a beard fetish. -Rei
642) I will also stop asking where he got those bite marks on his ear-tips. -Rei
643) Putting black dye in Thranduil's shampoo is only funny the first time. -Rei
644) Hot pink is funny every time. -Rei
645) The Warg does not want to play fetch. -Rei
646) Elrond is not "my Pretty Elf." (*cough*Yes, he is*cough*) -Rei
647) Elrond will not blurt out "I'm gonna sing the Doom Song now!" during the Council no matter how many times I watch that scene. -Rei
648) I will stop looking through every book Tolkien ever wrote just to find the tiniest hint that Gimli/Legolas is canon. -Rei
649) ...Next year. -Rei
650) I'll just ask the L/G fans; they'll even cite page numbers.
651) It is not acceptable to convince the Hobbits to lie in wait and pelt the Elf with snowballs when he returns from "fetching the Sun." -Rei
652) But I'm still gonna do it. -Rei
653) It is not fair to call Dori a pervy Hobbit-fancier just because he got stuck giving Bilbo piggy-back rides. -Rei
654) Pulling on the Dwarf's beard so he won't fall to his death is not an appropriate moment to declare my love for him. -Rei
655) I will not use Galadriel's Mirror to make funny faces. -Rei
656) It is none of my business why Gimli has blonde hairs on his shoulder. -Rei
657) I will not play "Keep Away" with the One Ring. -Rei
658) Gollum is not a kitty. -Rei
659) Gollum is not a squirrel. -Rei
660) Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli never sang "Hakuna Matata" at any point during the story no matter how hilarious I would find it. -Rei
661) Nor did Aragorn ever sing "I Just Can't Wait to be King." -Rei
662) I will not name my Pokemon after LotR characters. -Rei
663) ...In more than one gamepack. -Rei
664) I will not purr as I call Gimli "my Elvellon." -Rei
665) ...In public. -Rei
666) I will not start things I don't intend to finish.
667) I will stop wondering how the inhabitants of Middle-Earth can make up beautiful ballads at the drop of a hat. -Rei
668) I will speak words the Dwarf can understand. -Rei
669) I will not put a collar on Gollum and try to pass him off as a Chihuahua. -Rei
670) I will stop entertaining myself by tying a string to the One Ring and dragging it away when someone tries to pick it up. -Rei
671) Gandalf has no opinion on the war between humans and mutants. -Rei
672) Galadriel does not "got back." -Rei
673) I will not dare Figwit to swallow the Ring of Power. -Rei
674) Jar Jar Binks is not Gollum's bitch. -Rei
675) I will not ask why Legolas and Gimli requested their blindfolds back. -Rei