587) I will not make suggestive remarks about "war bonds between men." -Lady M
588) I will not feign fatigue to get cuddled by Aragorn. -Lady M
589) I will not watch the film and point and laugh when the director messes up. -Ryoko Dono
590) The Helm's Deep elves won't "perk right up with a little sunshine."
591) I will not accuse Peter Jackson of washing his sugar cubes. Instead I will now refer to it as royally screwing himself.
592) I will not suggest anything happens between Sam and Frodo, no matter how intimate they look. -Sue
593) I do not see dead people in marshes. -Vixi
594) I will not rifle through the effects of fallen heros.
595) Unless they have really cool wrist guards.
596) I will not bathe my feet in the Nimrodel. -Rei
597) No one wants to hear my "Song of the Sea." -Rei
598) I will stop telling Galadriel to stay away from my Dwarf. -Rei
599) It is not at all funny to make seagull noises in Lothlorien. -Rei
600) Legolas is not a nancing fairy. He's a nancing Elf. -Rei
601) Offering to fetch the Dwarf a box does not ensure that I'll get a date. -Rei
602) I will not require Elrohir and Elladan to wear nametags. -Rei
603) Thranduil was not a pervy Dwarf-fancier. -Rei
604) Neither is Galadriel. -Rei
605) The Palantir are not the Magic 8-Balls of Middle-Earth. -Rei
606) I will stop asking Elrohir and Elladan which one of them is the evil twin. -Rei
607) Elrond does not know where Neo is. -Rei
608) I will not draw attention to Saruman's girly nails. -Rei
609) I will not braid the Dwarf's beard without his knowledge or consent. -Rei
610) Gimli was not "copping a feel" while we were riding Arod. -Rei
611) I will not scream "Immortal my ass!" durng Haldir's death scene. -Rei
612) I will not tweak Elrond's ears. -Rei
613) I will not take Legolas to the beach. -Rei
614) I will stop telling Gimli that Ms. Swann meant nothing to me. -Rei
615) I will not taunt the cave troll. -Rei
616) I will stop asking Elrond to recite the One Ring poem. -Rei
617) I will stop telling Haldir that his brothers look like sisters. -Rei
618) I will not ask Legolas where he got the hickey. -Rei
619) Rivendell is not a karaoke bar. -Rei
620) I will stop making Elrond wear sunglasses. -Rei
621) I will stop inquiring as to why Elrond didn't skip his pretty little Elvish ass over to Isildur and simply take the Ring from him and throw it in himself instead of just standing there and yelling at him like a nimrod. -Rei
622) I will stop bugging Gloin about what really happened in Thranduil's dungeon. -Rei
623) I will not get the Wood-Elves loaded. -Rei
624) I will not stuff Thorin Oakenshield in a barrel. -Rei
625) The Seven Dwarf-lords have nothing to do with Snow White. -Rei
626) I will stop asking Legolas and Gimli why they kept going off together in Lothlorien. -Rei
627) "Truth or Dare" is not an appropriate game to play in Moria. -Rei
628) Neither is "Spin the Bottle."
629) Legolas is not carrying Gimli's love-child. Not yet anyway. -Rei
630) And even if he is, it's rude to shout it out to everyone in the middle of a coronation ceremony in Mirkwood. -Rei