542) I will not kill someone just because he looks like an orc. -L337 M4573R SAN
543) I will not place bets on the elf's virginity.
544) Boromir is not a son of a warg.
545) I will not scream in horror or try to tear my eyes out when Legolas is slashed with Gimli. -Ireth
546) I will try to refrain from reminding people that Legolas/Gimli is canon.
547) And if I must remind them, I will not do so with a double-headed axe.
548) "99 Elves to Screw on the Wall" is not an appropriate song to sing while on the way to Mordor. -Kally
549) I will not pour a bucket of water over Sauron to see what happens. *hisssss* Too late. -Divinity
550) I will not try to sell Sauron glittery orange mascara to match his eye color. Divinity
551) Legolas is not a ranger. -Clueless EQ Player
552) Mirkwood Elves do not pick banjos and eat squirrel.
553) I will not ask Gimli if he has a cousin Grumpy. -The Ranger
554) I will not use Gandalf's hat as a Sorting Hat. -The Ranger
555) I will not say "Look, puppies!" when I see the wargs come running down a hill. -The Ranger
556) I will not tell Gandalf that I "accidentally" used his staff as firewood. -The Ranger
557) I will not force Legolas to do a shampoo commercial. -Andro
558) It's not Legolas' fault he's the pretty one.
559) I will not ask Elrond if he was beaten with an ugly stick as a child. -Yet Another Tina
560) And if I do, I will be reminded that Elrond can still kick ass.
561) I will not speculate on what Gimli and Legolas were doing in Lothlorien all that time. -Yet Another Tina
562) I will not ask Frodo what he has got in his pocketsies. -Yet Another Tina
563) I will not follow Gimli and Legolas through Fangorn with my camera "just in case." -Yet Another Tina
564) I will not throw my unmentionables at Gimli.
565) I will not refer Gollum to a multiple personalities counselor. -[The Male] Andro
566) I will not insist it be pronounced "gah-loom."
567) I will not point out plot-holes or mistakes in the film. -[The Male] Andor
568) ...To a Tolkien virgin. -[The Male] Andro
569) I will not get involved in a staring contest with The Eye. -[The Male] Andro
570) I have no evidence of Eomer consuming more than his fair share of the pies. -Razzle
571) Legolas catching Aragorn does not "look like a tasty sandwich." -Razzle
572) "Baby Got Back" is not Sam's theme song. -Razzle
573) I will not exploit Boromir's weak-mindedness by "losing" the Ring in the snow, just so I can see him bend over. -Ireth
574) I will not tell Legolas to stop commenting on the weather and making strange prophecies from the color of the sky. -evenstar*
575) I will not force the cute members of the Fellowship to be my sex slaves just because it's my birthday. -Dru
576) The Ring that comes with bookmarks at the mall is NOT The One Ring and will not be used to steal the real One Ring for fun times and evil. -Dru
577) Wargs are not cute, and I cannot take them home with me. -Andro
578) Not even if they've had their shots. -Andro
579) I will not believe Thranduil got pregnant with Legolas just because Legolas doesn't have a mother. -Kel
580) Hobbits are not the bastard offspring of an elf and a dwarf.
581) Just because Wood-Elves are so in tune with nature does not mean that their males can get pregnant. -Kel
582) I will not think that the sword clashing scene between Aragorn and Eowyn was a kinky prelude game to sex. -Kel
583) I will not poke people with arrows just because I can get away with it.
584) Bill the Pony is not the bastard child of Shadowfax and some random Rohan horse. -Kel
585) I will not question why Aragorn practically moaned Brego's name when the horse kissed... err... touched his face to wake him. -Kel