497) I will not offer Galadriel the Ring just to see what happens. -Kally
498) I will stop replacing the Hobbits' foot ointments with Nair. -Kally
499) "Oops" is not an acceptable excuse for knocking over Saruman's Palantir. -Kally
500) I will not use Haldir's nose as target practice. -Kally
501) I will stop pestering the Elf for beauty tips. -Kally
502) The trip to Mordo is not "one big travelling slumber party," and as such I will stop suggesting we give each other makeovers and talk about who we think is cute. -NansJns
503) At the request of the others, however, I will continue to make s'mores after dinner. -NansJns
504) They are just friends. They are just friends. They are just friends... -Tina
505) I will not suggest kinky games involving false beards and rubber ear tips.
506) I will not shout "Kiss, darn it!" during the scene when Pippin asks about second breakfast. -Robin Gurl
507) I will not steal the elves' clothes just because they are shiny. -Robin Gurl
508) I will not help Merry and Pippin steal crops, even though it sounds like fun. -Robin Gurl
509) Galadriel is not a frigid bitch, and neither is Celeborn. -Divinity
510) Celeborn is not Galadriel's boy-toy; he just doesn't talk much. -Darkhorse
511) Haldir is not something to be cuddled. -Christina
512) Dwarves are not lawn ornaments. -Isilaime
513) Eowyn and Grima do not make a good couple. -Isilaime
514) Elrond does not wear embroidered curtains. -Isilaime
515) Frodo is screaming in pain because the Nazgul stabbed him, not because he is in labor. -Isilaime
516) I will not start singing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" every time Arwen comes on. Even if she is Undumiel. -Isilaime
517) I will not giggle hysterically when Frodo talks about how he wouldn't have gotten very far without Sam. -BayLeaf
518) I will not think about Merry and Pippin being a cute couple. -Dru
519) I did not see Aragorn do anything inappropriate whilst Boromir died a slow, agonizing death. -Roman
520) Frodo was not groping Boromir, he was attempting to fight him. -Roman
521) Eomer was not ogling Grima during lunch, he was being quietly intimidating. -Roman
522) I will not deride Tolkien fans who have not read the book.
523) Aragorn did not try to find Boromir's "white tower." -Roman
524) I will not mutter dark things and sharpen my axes when someone makes a joke at Gimli's expense.
525) Boromir and Faramir were not closer than brothers should be. -Roman
526) I will get over than there are no phallic symbols in LOTR someday... -Tina
527) His name is Lurtz, not Nancy. -The Tina Who Sometimes Appears With Nita
528) Just because I find this whole thing extremely amusing does not mean everyone else does. -The Tina Who Sometimes Appears With Nita
529) I will try not to watch where Legolas places his hands whenever he is hiding. -Tina
530) Elrond's circlet is a very manly object, and so is strawberry bubble bath. -Divinity
531) I will not dangle The One Ring in Gollum's face just to watch him freak and try to grab it. -Dru
532) I will not slip crazy glue into Legolas' hair gel. -NansJns
533) I will not obsess about where Legolas' hands are when he is on the horse with Gimli. -Tina
534) I will not paint The One Ring silver to see if that fools anyone. -Dru
535) I will not give my friends plot bunnies so they are forced to write Gollum slash. -Dru
536) I will not insist that Legolas/Gollum is more likely than Legolas/Aragorn.
537) I will not ask Saruman where he gets his nails done. -Darkhorse
538) I will stop asking if they super-glued Boromir's body into the boat. -Darkhorse
539) I will not use "Going on Splash Mountain" as a euphemism for the passing of Boromir.
540) Frodo is not "Magically Delicious." -Amy S