(All lines without a signature were made by the original site-mistriss. Those with the signature "Rei" are mine ^_^)
2) I will not tease Legolas if his weave doesn't match his eyebrows.
3) I will not twirl Gandalf's staff.
4) I will not giggle when Boromir mentions his horn.
5) It's not a dress, it's a ceremonial robe.
6) I will not toss dwarves without their permission.
7) I will not hide Aragorn's shampoo.
8) Legolas is not Gimli's bitch.
9) Thranduil was not Gloin's bitch either.
10) Sam is not Frodo's . . . um, nevermnd.
11) Anduril is not a plaything.
12) It is not nancing about, it's walking with elvish grace.
13) I will not use Boromir's shield as a toboggan.
14) Gimli's beard is not a handle.
15) I will not hog the best view while the elf is bathing.
16) I will not put up flyers to announce the secret council.
17) I will not tap my foot impatiently during Boromir's death scene.
18) I will not surf down the stairs to impress the dwarf.
19) I will not yell "Orcs!" just for attention.
20) I will not question hobbit lineage.
21) I will not take Gollum for walkies.
22) Comparing body counts is not an acceptable means of flirting.
23) I will not demand piggyback rides from the big folk.
24) Gimli is not on the quest solely for my amusement.
25) They are noble steeds of Rohan, not pretty horsies.
26) I will not refer to Frodo's mithril shirt as his frilly underthings.
27) I will not send Bill the pony off to be eaten by wolves.
28) I will not tell the hobbits Legolas is hoarding mushrooms.
29) I will not poke a sleeping elf to see if he's dead.
30) I will not tip the boat if my traveling companion can not swim.
31) I will not startle Gimli's horse in a fit of jealousy.
32) The Lay of Leithian isn't nearly as exciting as it sounds.
33) Legolas' name is not "The pretty one."
34) I am not part of a hobbit comedy duo.
35) I will not call myself "Your Sam" under any circumstances.
36) "Immortal" is not a challenge.
37) I will not offer fighting lessons as an excuse to roll on the ground with hobbits.
38) I will not use my death as an excuse for a makeover and a bleach job.
39) Cross-species mating rituals are not a dinner time discussion.
40) I will not play keep away with the hobbits' food supply.
41) I will not refer to Samwise as "the fat hobbit."
42) I will not make fun of Elrond's tiara.
43) Lothlorien is not the gay bar of middle earth. (Can't take credit for this one.)
44) I will not ask Lady Galadriel to shave her head.
45) I will not refer to Gimli as "the baggage" when he rides my horse.
