Many, many people have Dr. Martens. They are some of the nicest, most expensive shoes. Very comfortable to wear, good looking, the shoes are very popular. My question is this: Who is this Dr. Marten? And why is he a Dr.? What, did he spend 10 years at Shoe Graduate School? "Oh look at me, I graduated from Shoe University!" Well LA DEE FRICKEN DA!!
Or maybe, he's a mad scientist, and somewhere, in an old castle, with his hunchback assistant Mary, he's spent years slaughtering cows and splicing their genes to create the perfect leather. But one day, something went terribly wrong... he fell into a vat of mutated cow blood, and when he emerged he was half-man and half-cow. Then, having a vengeance against the world for constantly eating beef, his brothers, he created Dr. Martens. Slowly, as they are worn, they release poison that turns humans into cows for slaughter. Oh No!!! I have a pair on now, better take them off before its too moo .... mooo!!
- William Skeete |