| Part XIV |
When Alex awoke, she was in a room that was dark and she was groggy. She mumbled and heard someone near her stir. �Kane? 'Taker?� she asked. �Yes, little girl. It�s me.� Kane answered. �We brought you back to the hotel. How are you feeling?� he asked. Alex stirred for a few minutes and put her hand to her head. She had fainted, she remembered. No, not fainted, collapsed. She�d felt what she could only describe as lightning go through her head and she�d blacked out. Suddenly she panicked and she bolted upright. �I can�t . . .Oh hell!� She groaned, and grabbed her head. She collapsed back to the bed; her head spinning and she saw stars. Kane moved to sit next to her on the bed. �Are you all right?� he asked. �I can�t feel you. I can�t feel you in the room.� She stated, panic in her voice. �It�s unsettling. I�ve become so used to it. It�s like part of me is gone. What�s wrong with me?� She asked. �I�m blocking your powers.� He stated plainly. *Why? She asked and immediately regretted it, grabbing her head again, she winced. Trying to communicate telepathically had the same effect as sitting up, only more intense. It wasn�t anything like the headaches. �You can�t do that either.� Kane stated. �Why?� she asked aloud, �I don�t understand.� She was beginning to get scared, she was so used to being able to talk that way, and it unsettled her to use her voice with him. She knew Kane preferred not to talk, as it was difficult for him. �What�s wrong with me?� she asked whimpering, turning to him. �Alex, when we instructed you on how to use your empathic abilities, do you remember everything 'Taker and I taught you?� Kane asked. �Yes, I think so. Why?� she answered. �Do you remember the part about not suppressing your own emotions?� He asked quietly. �What are you talking about?� she asked. She sat up slowly with Kane�s help. It didn�t hurt as much now and the room didn�t spin. �Alex, what upset you tonight?� Kane asked. �Nothing, I�m just not . . .� Alex replied. �Was it Paul?� he asked. �NO! Why would seeing him upset me?� she asked viciously. �We�ve been working together for a while now. Aside from running into each other in hallways, nothing has happen.� She said dismissively. �Which still doesn�t explain why you�ve pressured half the roster into acting as my personal security force.� She snapped at him heatedly. �I didn�t have to pressure anyone.� Kane growled defensively. �Those guys are your friends and they�re worried about you and so are your sisters. And you are NOT going to change the subject.� He added, looking at her knowingly. Alex avoided his eyes; then replied, �Worried for what? I�m fine!� she snapped. �Stop doing that!� Kane snapped. �Do you know how many times you�ve said that over the past couple of months?� he asked. �Said what?� she asked confused. � �I�m fine�,� he answered. �I lost track after the first couple of days. You�ve said it over and over.� �Maybe if I say it often enough, people will pay attention and stop asking me about the breakup with that tone in their voice. I�M FINE!� she shouted. �You�re NOT �fine�!� he countered yelling back. �Ah, man don�t you start too!� she whined getting out of the bed to pace the room. �I�m not going to talk about this for the hundredth time.� she stated firmly. �Talk to whom?� he asked quietly. �Alex, I�ve talked to Storm and the other girls. You haven�t talk to any of them about your breakup.� Kane informed her. �You�ve been telling each of them that you have, but none of them could confirm with the other that you�ve sat down with them.� �Talk about what? There�s nothing to talk about!� she stated heatedly, stopping to glare at him. �We broke up. There�s nothing more to it.� �Little girl, you can�t carry this around anymore. You�re making yourself sick. You�re putting your health in jeopardy. You need to talk about what he did to you.� Kane stated as he walked toward her. She backed away from him and saw, because she could not feel, the hurt in his eyes at her retreat. �I don�t know what you�re talking about.� She whispered, trying to sound convincing. �Little girl, breaking up is never easy and what he did . . .� Kane started. Alex had backed herself up against a wall and stood rigid against it, �Don�t do this.� She pleaded whispering, her voice thick. �I don�t want to talk about this. Please, I can�t do this.� She added. She could feel the pressure in her chest and in her head. It felt like it would explode if she breathed too hard. Kane stood in front of her and gentle cupped her face in his large hands, feeling her tremble. �You need to talk this out.� Kane stated softly. Alex closed her eyes as she tried to concentrate. She clutched her head and Kane cringed when Alex screamed again, knowing he had caused the pain. �You can�t do that anymore.� He informed her softly. �Alex . . .please talk to me.� Kane pleaded softly Alex planted her hands firmly on Kane�s chest and pushed him away from her, �Talk about what!� she yelled as she started pacing the room again. �The fact that I thought I fell in love. The fact that he used me or maybe that I was stupid enough to believe him when he said he loved me. Which one, pick a topic.� She snapped, whirling around to look at him. �Or maybe we can discuss the fact that it was my fault.� �Why do you think it�s your fault?� Kane asked calmly. �I knew how jealous he could get. I knew he didn�t like me talking with the guys.� Alex started rambling. �Did you talk to them before?� Kane asked. �Yeah, they�re my friends.� She answered. �Did you ever cheat on Paul?� he asked. �NO! Of course not!� she exclaimed. �Alex, you�ve always been playful, you�ve always been affectionate. Paul knew that before he started dating you. You never crossed that line with any of the guys.� Kane informed her. �But I shouldn�t have played around with them like that.� She stated again. �He also didn�t like me spending so much time with you and 'Taker.� Alex continued. �Alex you�re our PA. You�re one of my brides . . .� Kane started. �But I knew!� she interrupted, �I knew he was jealous of you. I should have pulled back from 'Taker . . .and from you.� Kane felt a stab at his heart at the mere suggestion of one of the ladies withdrawing from him. �Little girl, why would you change yourself? For Paul? For anyone?� Kane asked. �Because . . .� she started, �because he wanted me to.� She admitted. �DAMN! That sounds pathetic.� She groaned angrily, putting her head in her hands. Kane moved across the room to hold her. She laid her head on his chest and Kane held her tightly, �Alex, you can't change who you are and why would you want to?� She looked up at him and it hurt Kane deeply to see the pain and sadness in her eyes. �Why didn�t I know?� She asked helplessly. �I had known I was empathic for months. I should have known.� She whimpered. �Known what?� Kane asked confused at the question. �That he was lying when he said he loved me.� Alex stated. �I should have known what he was planning. He lied to me for over a month. A month!� she exclaimed, �and I didn�t know!� �Because your own emotions were involved.� Kane answered. �You wanted to believe him and in his own way he did love you.� Alex moved from Kane�s embrace. She turned her back to him and wrapped her arms around herself. �I let you down.� She whispered. �What!?� Kane practically shouted. �I failed you.� She whispered. �I should have known what he was planning. What good was I to you that night? He�d been planning that match for a long time. Same as that return match, he didn�t want the title - he wanted to hurt you.� She stated. Kane finally understood - it wasn�t the break-up. It had been her inability to not see it coming. To not know what Paul was planning. That she had been unable to tell he was lying to her and she had been unable to tell his feelings had changed. And in that, she had been unable to protect Kane. Alex thought she had disappointed him. �Oh, little girl.� Kane sighed understanding her pain. He crossed to her and touched her shoulder; she shrugged away from him. He gripped her shoulders and made her turn around to look at him. �Little girl, you think I blame you?� he asked, tilting her chin up to look at him. She nodded unable to answer, tears streaming down her face. �No, no, no.� pulling her to him, she buried her face in his chest again. �I know you didn�t know anything. He fooled you and he hurt you. I can take care of myself.� He grinned as Alex stepped back looked at him knowingly. �Yes, you brides are my protectors as well, but in the ring you can not interfere . . .� �But he brought our personal lives inside the ring and that shouldn�t have happened!� she interrupted. �It happened because of me!� she exclaimed. �Alex, you are NOT responsible for Paul�s actions!� Kane growled. �But if I had done what he�d wanted he wouldn�t have been mad!� she stated. Then Kane felt it; something he had never known. �You were afraid of him.� he stated; it couldn�t really be called a question. He grabbed Alex shoulders again and shook her slightly. �What did he do? Did he hurt you?� he demanded with tightly restrained fury. In his anger, Kane had released his hold on her empathic abilities. Alex could feel his anger and what he thought. �NO!� Alex exclaimed shaking her head vigorously, she got frustrated that she was giving him the wrong impression. Kane growled low in his throat. �Tonta!� she gritted at herself. �Kane, I promise . . .he never hit me.� She swore. �Then why were you afraid?� he demanded. (Translation: stupid!) Alex sighed, moving from him to pace the room; �Not afraid exactly. It�s just . . .I�d never felt a temper like his before. I remembered doing nearly anything to avoid it. Most times I would do almost anything to keep Paul from being angry. But sometimes part of me could never do it. I couldn�t back down from an argument or a fight.� She admitted. Kane�s anger faded and he smiled, �That�s not anything to be ashamed of.� Kane walked over and sat across from her when she sat on the edge the other bed. Alex grinned slightly as she continued, �He and I started arguing about everything. I though it was just nerves and tension from the angle.� She rambled. �After the match, I realized we weren�t getting along because I was constantly defending myself. He made me feel guilty for hanging out with the guys or you and 'Taker. Even after we talked about it, he still didn�t like it and he didn�t understand. Even if that match or what he did hadn�t happen, I don�t think we would have been together for much longer.� She informed Kane. �You�re right; as usual.� She grinned. �I was becoming someone I wasn�t and honestly didn�t like. And in the end, I just couldn�t do it.� She leaned forward and hugged Kane, �This has been the weirdest couple of months and I can�t believe how I�ve been acting. I�m not really heartbroken.� She started and saw the look on Kane�s face. �Or at least not as much as I should be.� She conceded. �Part of it was I thought I had disappointed you and let you down. The idea of that almost broke my heart.� She whispered and paused because her voice cracked. �But most of its anger � at myself. For letting myself get caught up and be blinded. It was my first relationship and I was willing to believe or do anything, and lost part of myself in the process.� �Little girl, you have to know that whatever you were feeling that we are here for you. No matter what it was; fear, frustration, or even grief.� He informed her. Alex grimaced at the last word. �Yes, it�s called grief. You fell in love with someone and even though it didn�t work out the way you planned it still hurts. It is �the loss of something that was important to you.� He explained. Alex realized that Kane had taken control of her abilities again. �Are you going to keep this up?� she asked. �For a little while, you have to learn to use them again. You were suppressing your emotions and your mind couldn�t handle that. You are an incredibly emotional person, being empathic amplifies that. You weren�t dealing with your own emotions. Then trying to deal with everyone else�s.� Kane explained. �That CAN NOT happen again.� He stated firmly, taking her chin in his hand firmly. �You were making yourself sick.� �Is that why I�ve been acting so weird? The headaches, nausea, the attitude from hell?� she asked. �Alex you tried to turn your mind, �off�.� Kane began, trying to sound stern. �It doesn�t work like that. I think when Tori attacked you; that the head injury made it come to the forefront. You�re powers are far stronger than we suspected. You had an iron-grip around your mind . . .and your heart. When you collapsed tonight was the first time in months I was able to get near you, telepathically.� Kane stated. Alex heard the hurt in his voice and was overcome with all she had put him through. Before she could speak Kane continued. �When your mind couldn�t respond emotionally. Your body had to react physically. You were getting headaches before the attack weren�t you?� Kane asked. �Yes, but nothing nearly as bad as lately.� �You�ve got to let me know when something like this is happening, otherwise I can�t help you.� Kane informed her, rubbing her hair. �If I promise to do better is there any way I�m going to get out of this?� she asked, trying to keep the whine out of her voice. Kane shook his head firmly, �No. You will have to learn to talk about what you�re feeling, either with myself, 'Taker or one of the girls.� He insisted. He then smiled, �Nice try though.� He added. Alex smiled, �It was worth a shot.� She sighed, �You know I�m not good at talking about this stuff.� �You�re going to learn.� He assured her. �Is it safe to come in?� Alex hadn�t heard the door open and nearly jumped off the bed when she heard 'Taker�s voice. Alex turned to see him standing in the doorway wearing a blank expression. |