| Part XV |
Alex momentarily sat frozen. It was as if a floodgate had been released. She�d been holding on to emotions for so long Alex literally felt it all come down on her head. Her eyes filled with tears as she looked up at him. She remembered every word, every gesture, and every horrible thing she�d said to him � everything she�d not said. She�d hit him, she remembered. Alex slowly rose to her feet; she felt her legs trembling slightly. The reality of all that she�d done starting to catch up with her. She walked over to him silently, her head hung slightly. She looked up at him for a moment; �To say �I�m sorry� doesn�t feel like nearly enough.� She whispered softly. �I was so mean to you. I had no idea why. I was just shouting and yelling such awful things.� She rambled almost incoherent overcome with tears as she looked up at him. �Then I shut you out.� He looked down at her, his expression unchanged, �Does that mean you don�t hate me?� �I could NEVER hate you.� She stated emphatically. �You should hate me.� She countered. Alex reached up with trembling hand to touch his cheek where she had hit him. �Alex . . ." �I mean . . .I hit you.� She exclaimed, the tears running freely down her face. �But you were still worried about me . . .� she rambled. �You�re my best friend . . .I don�t know what I would do without . . .� �That would never happen.� 'Taker assured her firmly. �Little girl you were hurting.� �But that�s NO excuse for what I did or how I�vebeentreatingyou.� Alex exclaimed, her words running together as she cried. Alex put her face in her hands as the tears overcame her. 'Taker wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled Alex to him and she cried as he held her. When her knees buckled 'Taker caught her, picking her up in his arms and walked over to sit on the bed. 'Taker sat down with Alex on his lap and cradled her in his arms as she continued to cry. The months of holding on to tears and trying to hide her pain from them came out in a flood. When her body started to tremble and shake from her sobbing 'Taker only held her tighter. He began rocking her, muttering nonsense in her ear, trying to soothe her with his voice. 'Taker looked worriedly at Kane and Kane could only shake his head sadly because he could feel her pain releasing finally. 'Taker rocked Alex until she cried herself to sleep. �Is she okay?� 'Taker asked Kane quietly. He brushed her hair from her forehead, as Alex buried her face further into 'Taker�s chest. ~She�s going to be. Kane replied. ~Look at her. Kane instructed. Before his eyes 'Taker saw her face, shoulders, and her entire body relax. ~She�s letting go. Kane explained. ~She�s been holding on to the pain. Over Paul, over the way you two have been, guilt over her thinking she disappointed me. Kane explained. As 'Taker listened he rose slowly and laid Alex on the bed where she barely flinched as she curled into a fetal position as she continued to sleep. �WHAT?!� 'Taker demanded after standing up straight. The door opened and Leah and LaShana entered quietly. Kane smiled inwardly; his brother was always the enigma. Kane had just watched while he handled Alex like she were glass and would break if held wrong. Now with the flash in his eyes, 'Taker looked like he wanted to break something. ~I�ll explain to you on the way. Kane answered. ~She�s sleeping. Kane answered to the ladies at their worried expression. ~We�ll be back right after our matches. ~~*~~ Alex was curled on her side and she felt warm. Safe. Protected. The feelings were almost foreign to her she�d not let herself feel it in so long. She curled closer to one side. She felt someone next to her; her first response was to curl closer. She felt an arm hold her closer and she sighed. Then she panicked. She sat up quickly and scrambled back to the other side of the bed. Just before she toppled over the other side onto the floor, 'Taker caught her arms. �Alex! It�s me. It�s okay.� 'Taker stated calmly, holding her firmly. Alex focused on his voice, calmed down and stopped moving. �What is it? What�s wrong?� He asked worriedly, as he released her arms. She shook her head as she moved back to the center of the bed and she sat cross-legged. �I didn�t realize it was you.� She explained softly. �You thought I was Paul.� He stated flatly, as he leaned back against the headboard. �NO.� she answered viciously. �I knew it wasn�t Paul. That�s why I panicked. I didn�t know who it was.� She explained. �It�s been a while since I woke up in someone�s arms.� She explained quietly. �Beside you could never be mistaken for Paul.� She smiled. �So I�m not ugly?� he asked serious. Alex scrunched her face thinking. �I guess not.� She answered. �I�ve seen uglier.� She was only able to keep a straight face for about 5 seconds before she started laughing at the look on his face. Alex lay back down to try to go back to sleep. She turned on her side her back to him. �'Taker?� she asked softly. �Yeah, little girl?� �What did I do wrong?� she asked. �Why didn�t Paul love me? Why did he hurt me like that?� 'Taker closed his eyes; surpessing the growl that was rising in his throat. It hurt his heart to hear her voice; like this he remembered why he called her �little girl�. She sounded so young, so innocent. It angered him that she was blaming herself and he didn�t want her to hear it. 'Taker waited until he was certain his voice was steady before he answered. �Why do you assume he didn�t love you? Or that it was you who did something wrong?� he asked. Not understanding the questions, Alex rolled onto her other side to look at him. 'Taker sighed heavily, �Alex I do think Paul loved you.� 'Taker began, �And believe me it gives me NO pleasure to say that. I do know you did nothing wrong except not be yourself.� �Kane said the same thing.� Alex whispered, nodding. �Loving someone is a learning process. Someone either loves you for all there is about you � the things they like and the things they don�t - or they don�t deserve you.� 'Taker explained. �I won�t attempt to explain what he did, because there is no excuse good enough for hurting you.� He growled. 'Taker once again reined in his temper and continued. �Jealousy does strange things to people.� Alex sighed, and the tears started again. �I didn�t know it was possible to hurt this much.� She whispered. As she continued to cry 'Taker pulled her close to him and Alex laid her head on his chest, until she fell asleep again. |