| Part XIII |
This trend continued for almost another 2 months; most any attempts to talk to Alex about what was going on were abruptly cut short. Even Jesse and Matt were unsuccessful when they tried to push her too far. There wasn�t anyone she hadn�t snapped at. One by one Alex argued viciously with each of her sisters. The week before she and Ice had a screaming argument where Matt had to physically pull her out of the room. When asked neither of them could remember how it got started. Pretty soon she rarely came out of her hotel room. When Alex was at her apartment she ignored the phone or emails. Alex meanwhile was dying inside; she was dizzy almost constantly, she wanted so badly to talk to someone about what was wrong. But she had no idea what was wrong. She missed �Taker beyond reason; she still couldn�t sleep in an empty room. She�d stay up for days at a time and could only sleep when she was completely exhausted. She missed being able to talk to him. She even missed arguing with 'Taker. However, every time he tried Alex would cut the conversations short and shut down; now she couldn�t even look at him without remembering she�d hit him. Alex was sitting in her room staring out the balcony door; her laptop and work spread out before her but she�d long since given up the pretense of working. She still couldn�t focus, lately her mind wandered to a memory just beyond her grasp. It was beginning to make her crazy. �Crazier.� she mumbled. Alex still wasn�t sleeping; the few times she�d been able to sleep she had strange dreams that woke her up. She dreamt of the night Tori attacked her. Only this time she didn�t pass out; she stayed awake while Tori pounded her head on the floor. Just when she thought Tori wouldn�t stop the dream always faded into nothing. Then Alex heard someone singing to her. It immediately made her feel safe; then when the darkness started to fade enough for her to see whom it was she would invariable wake up. For someone who�d always prided herself on her ability to remember things, this was particularly nerve wracking. She only knew this memory was very important and when she remembered the voice were the few moments when she didn�t hurt; when her mind was at peace. Between the dreams, the constant headache, the memory loss, the tensions between herself and 'Taker - the pressure was beginning to wear on her. She looked up and over to the door when it opened, she closed her eyes for a split second when she saw Jesse enter smiling brightly. �Doors are meant to be knocked on, Mutt.� Alex grumbled. �But then it wouldn�t be a surprise.� He responded. Alex turned back to her work on the table, �What do you want Jesse?� she muttered. �To talk to you.� He replied simply. �I�m kind of busy right now.� �Alex, you�re sitting here staring outside, stop avoiding me.� Jesse countered. �Jesse,� she began mimicking him, �I�m not in the mood for this. I�m working.� �NO, you�re not. You�re hiding. You�re avoiding people and you�re not yourself.� Jesse pointed out. �You know, I�m getting really sick and tired of people telling me I�m not myself.� Alex snapped, her head in her hands. Looking up to glare at him, �Just because I�m not talking a mile a minute. Just because I want to be alone for a few minutes everyone thinks something is wrong.� �Baby girl, its not a few minutes; it�s been weeks. You�ve been quiet. That�s not like you.� Jesse mentioned. Daring to push, �You�ve been even more so since you and �Taker argued.� The mentioned of 'Taker pierced her heart, and she snapped. �Jesse - back off! I�m fine.� She yelled. She packed her bag with her laptop and grabbed her keys. She moved toward the door and Jesse stepped in front of her. �Look me in the eyes when you say that.� Jesse requested. Alex sighed and looked up at him. Jesse stared at her intently and she discovered she couldn�t lie to him. �Damn!� she thought, �Yet another person who knows me too well.� �Jesse, leave me alone.� She managed to ask without choking on tears. Moving around him and out the door. ~~*~~ Alex was walking down the hall swiftly hoping to avoid anyone who came along. She had given up wearing the make-up long ago and instead now wore sunglasses as much as possible, and her hair was usually in her face. She walked silently and her mind drifted to work. She squealed in surprise when she felt herself being lifted in the air. �HA! Scared ya.� Matt exclaimed. �Dammit Matt!� she swore. �Are you trying to give me a heart attack?� She scolded. �Put me down!� �Don�t be mad.� He asked, �You were all lost in space; I couldn�t resist.� Alex rolled her eyes as Matt set her on the ground. �Where were you headed?� he asked. �Since I can�t be left alone here,� She said pointedly. �I�m going down to the stadium. I�m missing some paperwork and I need to talk to the office.� She rambled. �Okay, I�ll go with you.� He offered. Alex shook her head and regretted it as the hallway began to swim before her eyes. �The point of that sentence was - I need to be alone.� She answered. She grabbed her bags that had fallen to the floor. �Alex, are you feeling okay?� Matt asked hesitantly. �I really wish people would stop asking me that question?� she muttered under her breath. �You�ve just been kind of distracted lately.� Matt began. �I know that scene with Paul upset you . . .� �Paul and I are over.� She snapped, glaring at him. �Don�t mentioned him to me, �kay.� She asked. �Okay.� Matt agreed. �Let me get my stuff and I�ll go down to the stadium with you.� �I�d really rather go alone.� She stated, pushing the button for the elevator. �I�ll see you later.� �Come on it�ll only take a minute.� Matt asked reaching for her arm. Alex jerked back from him. �I'll see you later, Matt.� �Alex, I�m worried about you. �Friends worry. That�s what friends do�. Remember?� He explained. �I�m fine!� she exclaimed, trying to push his hand from the elevator door. �That bullshit and you know it.� Matt objected, out of patience. Alex glared at him again, �So not only is something wrong with me, I�m a liar as well.� She snapped. �Alex . . .� �Matt, let go of the door!� she demanded. Pushing his hand hard enough for him to move finally. She closed her eyes as the elevator descended to the lobby and she mentally kicked herself. �Yet another person walking around headless because of you.� She admonished herself. The doors opened and Alex walked quickly through the lobby toward the parking lot hoping not to run into anyone. �Alex!� she dropped her head, �No such luck.� She muttered. Alex turned to the voice to see Farooq, Bradshaw and his wife Cenny walking toward her. �Hey guys. Sorry but I�m in kind of a hurry.� She replied quickly. �Hey.� Bradshaw began, �Would you mind giving us a ride over?� he asked. �Don't you guys usually ride with Buh Buh and DVon?� she asked. �Yeah.� Ron replied. �But DVon�s still asleep and Vince needs to see us.� She nodded slowly and tossed the keys to Bradshaw, �You drive.� She asked. She walked to the parking lot and got in the backseat. She feigned sleep so as not to be drawn into the conversation. �You okay?� Cen asked quietly so the guys wouldn�t hear. �Yeah, just tired.� She whispered and ignored the concerned look on her face. When they got to the arena, they insisted on walking her to the dressing room before leaving to talk to Vince. She sat alone in the room and reveled in the silence. She curled up on the couch and tried desperately to make her headache go away. Alex didn�t know how long she lay there drifting. She groaned slightly when she heard the door open. �Hey. You okay?� Jim asked when he saw her on the couch. Alex sat up slowly so the room wouldn�t spin. �Fine.� She automatically replied. �I didn�t realize anyone was here yet.� �No. It�s still early. There are some problems with a couple of spots tonight. Lots of run-ins.� he mentioned. Alex had to grin slightly; she knew Jim had trouble explaining how important it was for the arena security to be in the right places at the right time. He took the safely of the guys very very seriously. Alex got off the couch to walk over to the table and pulled her laptop out to work. Jim sat in the room and looked over his paperwork as the head of arena security entered the room; �We�ve got a problem.� he began. �What now?� Jim snapped. �I got a couple of no-shows; I�m short handed.� He answered. �What about local PD?� Jim asked. �We got a call in, but they�ll have to be briefed, we don�t usually use them.� �Fine. Let me know when they get here.� Jim responded. Alex felt his frustration and sighed; she knew tonight was going to be rough. An hour later arena security came back with a group of men from the local police department. �You guys can use the room.� Alex offered standing. �I�ll be back later. �You don�t have to leave.� Jim insisted. �Nah, it�s okay, I need to talk to the office anyway.� Alex left her stuff and wandered around backstage. There were still very few people who�d arrived. When she felt her head begin to throb, she ducked into an empty dressing room. The throbbing grew stronger and she barely made it to a chair to sit down. Alex was holding her head in her hands when she felt someone kneel in front of her and take her hands in theirs. �Alex, what�s wrong?� Chris asked worriedly. When she tried to pull her hands from his, Chris only tightened his grip. �Let go of me.� Alex demanded as she tried to stand. She couldn�t decipher the emotions coming from him. There were too many and they were coming too fast. The room began to spin before her eyes and she had to sit back down. �Alex, are you sick or something?� Chris asked crouching in front of her, helping her sit back down. �Let me get Kane or one of the girls?� Without thinking, Alex pushed Chris away and he landed awkwardly on the floor. �I�ll be fine. I need to go outside. I need air.� She snapped. �Let me go with you.� He requested. �NO!� she shouted, the sound echoing through the room and her head. �Why can�t everyone leave me alone?!� Alex rose from the chair again, fighting the dizziness; she stalked quickly to the door and left. As she walked down the hall again the throbbing subsided slightly. Alex looked up to see her sisters� walking down the hall in her direction. Feigning ignorance, she turned down the hall and found another empty locker room. She rested her head against the wall, her forehead cooled by the cement. After a few minutes, the throbbing nearly stopped and was again bearable. Before she could be glad of that her stomach began to pitch and roll and she became nauseous. Alex ran to the bathroom to throw up what little she had eaten that day. As she was cleaning up, she felt someone in the doorway. �That�s been happening a lot lately.� Ice mentioned. �You keeping a count.� Alex snapped. �Kind of hard to miss when you turn green and run out of the room.� Ice countered. Alex only shrugged as she turned the faucet off and walked past Ice without meeting her eyes. Alex said nothing as she headed for the door. �Alex � are you pregnant?� Ice asked hurriedly. Alex stopped suddenly and for a moment didn�t move. Afraid the room would spin, she turned around slowly. �What?� Alex asked, bafflement written all over her face. �Are you pregnant?� Ice asked again. �Why would you ask me something like that?� Alex questioned. �You�ve been moody, you don�t eat. You throw up a couple of times a day.� Ice explained. �Why haven�t you told us.� �Because I�m NOT!� Alex yelled. �You don�t have to hide . . .� �I�m NOT pregnant, okay.� Alex snapped, growing weary of the conversation. �Are you sure? Have you checked?� Ice asked. �Last time I checked pregnancy required a boyfriend and sex. I haven�t had either for while.� Alex stated, turning to walk back toward the door. �But how do you explain how you�ve been . . .� �I don�t have to explain myself to anyone!� Alex shouted. �Alex!!! We�re worried about you dammit!� Ice shouted back. �Don�t be.� Alex whispered as she walked out the door. ~~*~~ Alex was finally able to find a quiet room where no one was able to find her. She sat in the dark and stayed there the rest of the afternoon. Her head started to pound again when she felt both Kane and 'Taker trying to find her. �I�d better go before they send out the cavalry.� She thought to herself. As she walked back to the dressing room she got the distinct felling she was being stared at. When she got close to the dressing room door, she had her hand on the door but stopped when she heard 'Taker shouting. �What do you mean you had to?� He yelled. �She got up and walked out. I was in the middle of a meeting it would have been obvious if I�d blown it off.� Jim responded, equally loud. �Who saw her last?� Leah asked. �Me.� Alex heard Chris answer. �I saw her in the hall and she went into my dressing room. When I walked in she was holding her head in her hands. When I said I would get Kane or one of you girls she blew up. She pushed me to the floor and walked out.� Chris explained. �No, I think I was last.� Alex then heard Ice explain. �I saw her in the hall. She pretended she didn�t see us and walked away. I found her throwing up again.� She explained. �Did you ask her?� RIP asked. �Yeah.� Ice answered. ~Ask her what? Kane questioned. The women looked around at each other warily; no one quick to answer. �What?!� 'Taker snapped. �I asked her . . .� Ice began. �I thought . . .we thought . . .she might be pregnant.� She explained, whispering the last part. You could hear the clock ticking on the wall it was so silent in the room. �She�s pregnant.� Jesse asked his voice barely above a whisper. �No.� Ice shook her head. �She said she�s not.� �Has anyone seen her since then?� LaShana asked. Alex didn�t hear anyone respond. �What was she doing alone?� 'Taker growled. �I thought I told . . .� He stopped and everyone turned to the door that flew open when Alex pushed it. �Told them what?� she asked quietly. She heard her blood rushing in her ears in a vain attempt to hold on to her temper. �Told them WHAT?� she yelled accusingly. �To keep their eye on me?� Alex looked around the room. She saw the ones she�d already heard along with Hunter, Steve, Jeff, Matt, and X-Pac all standing around the room. As she looked at the men, they adverted their eyes from her. Some looking at the floor and some to 'Taker and Kane. Alex thought back to the past couple of months. For as long as she could remember unless she was in her room; she�d not been alone. �That�s because of Tori . . .� she thought. �NO, they didn�t know about Tori . . .this started the day before . . .� �You had them watching me.� she seethed. �Didn�t you!? Because of Paul??� she asked. �Alex, you need to calm down.� Jessie asked. �YOU are you supposed to be my friend . . .and you went along with this!?� she screamed. �WHY?� she demanded of Kane and 'Taker. ~Alex you�ve been acting strange. Kane began. �That�s a piss poor excuse and you know it!� Alex yelled, ignoring the hurt she saw in his eyes at her outburst. �How dare you?!� �Alex, you�re upset . . .� Leah tried. �Upset?!� Alex responded turning to her. �No. No. NO. NO . . .this is full-blown pissed off!� Alex whirled back to glare at Kane and 'Taker, �What gives you the right to follow me around? Why would you make people who say they�re my friends go along with this.� �Alex, we are you friends. That�s why we . . .� Matt answered. She whirled to glare at him, �DON�T talk to me!� she screamed, holding her hand up to make him stop. �That�s why you were always around, huh? Cause they ordered you to be! My friends wouldn�t blindly follow these two� gesturing wildly toward Kane and 'Taker, �with their over-inflated �big brother� complex.� She informed him. Alex felt the lights in the room becoming brighter before her eyes. �I can�t believe you guys would to this.� Alex began, coldly, looking at each man. She turned her attention to her sisters�. �Or that you would let them.� The last part Alex barely choked out, her throat tightening because she was fighting the tears. 'Taker stepped toward Alex and reached out to touch her. She looked up and slapped his hand away. �Don�t touch me!� she gritted, �I can NOT believe this.� Her voice dropped for only him to hear. �You . . .of all people had to know how I would react to this.� She whispered, her voice choked with tears. �And you let them do this anyway.� �You wouldn�t talk to me . . .� �So having me watched was supposed to help me open up?!� she snapped. Alex turned to walk out of the room, only for the room to keep spinning and the lights became brighter and hotter. Kane saw her eyes glaze over. �Alex . . .� he called out aloud. �NO!� she snapped, her eyes closed, she turned in the direction of his voice. The throbbing in her head was beating in time with her heartbeat and pounding in her ears. Alex put her hands over her ears to make it stop, swaying slightly from side to side. She felt more than one set of hands trying to hold her. She lashed out screaming and crying. �DON�T TOUCH ME!!� she screamed, looking at them her head spinning at the bright lights in the room, she shut her eyes tightly. Alex staggered back, and then opened her eyes again to see blurry shapes in front of her. �I . . . can�t . . . .I . . .� Alex screamed as she fell to her knee�s clutching her head and the room went dark. |