| Scene 9 |
| Dr Doo-lister L: Lister D: dogs N: Nurse P: Parrot <as lister makes his way up the fuckups hierachy he manages to get a part time position as a vet. Suddenly after bein bit in the arse by a toxic parrot he realises he can talk to animals!!!> P: thats for tryin to take me up the ass you fuckwit! L: hey, im really talkin to ya! P: No kiddin fuck up, no wonder your a doctor with observations like that! L: Ok so now, your not ill so can we fuck? P: .....your one sad little dipshit you know that? L: Is that a yes? P: Go fuck a duck, you fuckup bastard L: hmmm.....a duck hey? P: FUCK YOU! < parrot leaves stage > N: Doctor your next patient will be here in aprox 5 mins.... L: Thanxx nurse N: just enough time for you to operate on me, if ya catch my drift L: What?? on a female?? dont you know ? im a hobphobic, i only like men! N: do you know what hobophobic means? L: erm......yes? N: ah fuck off you aint worth it ya peice a shit! an for christs sake take that gherkin outta your trousers!!! L: you mean my great enourmous penis. N: i hate to disappoint you but a 4 cm vegetable doesnt count as a sexual organ sorry...... L: Oh.....erm..... N: your next patient just arrived. L: send them in! D: Woof! Hey , i gotta have my jabz L: up the arse???? < he peers interested > D: well yeah... L: wheres your owner? D: oh shes in the car. L: Strange, but OK! D: what was that? didnt feel like a needle in the arse....infact, it felt much like a gherkin!!!! L: erm.....nooothin....< he shiftily looks towards the wall> D: did you just try and take me with a GHERKIN?!?!?! L: NO!!! no!no well yes! NO! D: come here ya little tosspot fuck L: OWWWWW!!!! my 4 cm gherkin!!! its now about 2!!!! < and thus liter lost the job and almost his life, he was banned from the vetinarian proffession and is out there lookin for job prospectives, you see him, run like fuck! > |