| Scene 8 |
| L:lister D:listers dad P:Park warden Lister has pitched tents and are just finished unpacking.... D: i cant believe your mother sed we should go be 1 with nature, this suxx, it didnt help that you tried to have sex with me in the car just stay the fuck away from me you sad gay tit L: like i told you before im homophobic - and i was looking for my gherkin... D: between the pedals on your hands and knees in front of me? yeah whatever, ive known you 15 years and you try to have sex with nething with an arse - just get outta my face L: can i go explore dad??? D: yeah fuck off already L: cool <he scuttles off into the bushes> D: thank GOD...DONT COME BACK WILL YOU!!! {lister is lookin around when he spots a wild horse in the clearing, using his tae kwon doe style stealth he manages to fall on his arse 5 times roll down a hill and crash into the horse. Fortunately the horse falls down on top of him} L: my god, my lucky day!!! finally something to show everyone how great i am!! DAMMMIT ITS A MALE...<looks around> .....<then he cheers under his breath> yes!!!! here horsey horsey horsey, show me your arse.... SUDDENLY P: what the hell are you doing? L: i wuz ...ahem....erm..... P: get the fuck off my horse you sick twat!!! L: NO I SAW HIM FIRST!!! P: wha...?? what are you on about?? L: you DONT wanna have sex with it? <he looks puzzled> P: You what??? NO!!! thats it where are your parents? L: daddy is over by the campfire, P: good take me there L: why do you want to have sex with HIM instead? P: what is wrong with your head, i want to report you!!!! I DONT WANNA HAVE SEX WITH NETHING MALE..... L: oh my god.... <lister goes into shock and faints> the warden goes into a panic and runs into the bush the horse realises what lister wanted to do to it and crushes his ribs into the floor using its hooves. W: your son....<out of breath>...hes fainted in the bush somewhere and i didnt know what to do! D: is he gonna be ok>? W: i think so he just wont wake up for another day or so... <listers dad breaks into tears> W: he'll be ok, dont worry D: Worry?? oh no you dont understand!!! at last!!! one day in my life in 15 years where i wont have my son try and have sex with me or try to turn me on with a load of shit about TKD!!!! Thus ended listers first camping trip with lister beaten to a pulp and his dad crackin open a beer in celebration with the locals. |