| <back in listers room> L= Whos there? Past? Is that you? I knew you couldnt resist my offer of sex! Pr= No I am the ghost of christmas present L= you want sex? <pulls down thong> Pr- Past warned me about you, keep you gherk to yourself you stupid jerk. Here is what people think about you now.... <goes to employees home> E= Hes just a stupid gay prick with a big head and I dont mean penis or lack there of, in place a gherkin and a gherkin only! Hes a repulsive, sad lonely old wanking toss pot shit. And he still hasnt given me my bonus. Dya know i actually heard he fucks animals? Pr= Who else has a gherkin for a penis and shit for brains that goes round fuckin sheep? L= Well there's Pat Sharpe, Des O'Connar, Michael Barrymore, George Michael.... Pr= Oh theres no hope! <exit> <back at lister> L= Whos there? Past? Present? Oh you want a threesome now? F= Shut the fuck up for once, I'm the ghost of christmas future i.e. in one hour from now. L= You want sex for an hour? I dont think i can last that long! F= Shut up! heres the future! <goes to an hour in the future> Pa= You see Lister the thing is.... Pr= humans are far too humane.... F= to kill you.... Pa= We, on the other hand.... Pr= Are not humans or humane....... F= Therefore we can kill you. L= Thats my future, I better go say my goodbyes... <some time later back at Listers> L= goodbye parrot, my companion, Ill miss our sex! P= <squawks> I wont! <squawks> L= This is it time for my destiny..... F= Sure is. <later> Pa=oh but I cant kill him, look at him with his gherkin its pityful! Pr= I'll do it <Lister wakes from his christams nightmare and began wankin at the thought of a foursome with ghosts> |