| many years later... L - Lister D - Dog W - woman M - Matt L -.... and oh yes I do TKD and I can hit little kids in their solar-plexus, aint that right Kyle, im soo great...just watch me do my triple spinning 360 degree hook kick to the head while jerking off with sheep at the same time!!! M - Look man; shut the fuck up would ya? I mean no one gives a damn don't you gettit? If you'd shut the fuck up about how great you are and how many times you land on your "arse" we might actually talk to you, now stop boring that wall, it aint interested either! L - So you want sex then? M - Gimme a break... L - well you know where im gonna be... M - tit. <Lister goes home eagerly awaiting the arrival of matt> <matt aint commin> <a knock on the door> L - This must be him now!!! Yay!! W - Oh hi...my car broke down and I was wonderin... L - Your not matt!!! W - erm...duh... L - Oh I guess you'll have to do, I so wanted the touch of a bloke though... w - WHAT?!?! L - nothing.....so what can I do for you? w - its my car.... L - you want sex??? W - Oh what the hell, you might be a twat but who am I to complain? L - WAHAY!! <lister takes off his clothes> W - erm wheres your dick??? L - Oh yes that. sorry mum sed I should keep it safe...<he fumbles and picks it out of the back of a shelf>....so whatcha think? AINT IT GREAT! W - that's it im outta here!!! < runs away screaming> L - so that's sex??? boy that was quick! D - Woof? L - hello boy what you doin here?? are you lost?? do you wannit up the arse?? D - Woof?? L - That's a yes! <Suddenly the dog jumps up biting the gherkin and throwin the other half into a jar of onions in vinegar> L - AH SHIT!!! <He runs over and picks up his gherkin and gives it a quick rub.... its now only half a gherkin...> Oh well, the animals wont notice... <He kids himself> the curtain closes leaving lister jerking his gherkin |
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