| D - Doctor L - Listers Mum M - Midwife M - Push! Push! c'mon mrs lister...one more now!!!!...there we go.... L - Is he out?? M - Yes... that's it...he's here..... <a silence fills the room, suddenly lister starts crying> M - aww the poor mite, lets get him a blanket and a wash... L - Call me thick but how'd ya know its a he??? D - don't u remember the scan we took at 6 months? it showed us his.... M - Erm doctor.... D - Yes??? M - This boy hasn't got a penis!!! D - WHAT?!?!?! M - in his groinal area he's got...a...a...a....... D - SAYYIT WOMAN! M - erm...<obviously choking to get out the words>..a...a...GERKIN! D - Let me see that!.... <lo- and behold in the place of his dick there sat a healthy green gherkin > L - OH DEAR LORD... !THUNK! <listers mum faints> |
| Scene 0 |
| LISTER - A TWAT WAS BORN... |