Member:	Duck	Baloomba	SmiggleNarf
Rank	General	Colonel	Sergeant Major
Mascots	Zaxrist	Kirby	Sandbag
Email Address	[email protected]	[email protected]	[email protected]
Missions	6	6	6
Weapon of Choice	Big Stick	Blade of Nipperdipperdits	Stick
Mystic Powers	Confusion Ray	Shrapnel	Self-Confusion Ray
Standard Winter Sidearm	Candycane	Candycane	Candycane
Standard Summer Sidearm	Dual-Cyclones	Dual-Cyclones	Dual-Cyclones
High-Enflicting Device	Air/Cyclone/Time	Air/Cyclone/Time	Air/Cyclone/Time
Special Issued Item	Cheese	Cool Whip & Kool Aid	Beef Jerky
Stupidity	1%	1%	101%
Strength	669	500	4:20
Overall Dexterity	90%	30%	90%
Energy	500	500	500
Natural Genius	99%	73%	76%
Book-Smartness	98%	99%	2%
Visual Perceptiveness	101%	15%	100%
Retardedness	99%	99.5%	99%
Stealthiness	99%	50%	100%
Clumsiness	45%	90%	25%
Gibberishness	90%	100%	95%
Vocabulary Variety	98%	96%	14%
White-ness	100%	0%	50%
Stamina	59%	80%	60%
Incomprehendability	95%	99%	95%
Continuous Hastiness	69%	71%	67%
Temperament	1%	50%	1%
Complete Dumbass	100%	100%	100%
Mental Sickness (thx to Twiggy)	immeasurable by words	immeasurable by words	immeasurable by words