eew…someone make this really really icky feeling go away. I’m not sure how either, if I did would I be asking you? I didn’t think so.

So, things come full circle and bite me smack on the…um….well…yeah. The difference between Sunday night and Monday morning is one of the farthest distances in the universe. Last night I was confused, sad, and feeling melancholy.

Not so….not so this morning, my darlings! Boys will be boys, and will get to the point of nailing anything that moves….this can include even you, whether you think so or not. The key is to not get attached right away. Thank goodness I listen to my own advice sometimes or I’d be a real wreck! I did though, and that’s awesome, and now I’m content being where I was before. I really liked it there. I would have been perfectly content there…not sure why I left that place. Probably just so I could say I did. Hee hee…the concept of that particular history lesson is still a hilarious one.

Don’t get me wrong, I adore the boy. Cannot be helped. Once he actually talks he’s funny and intelligent and interesting. That doesn’t mean I’m going to be led by the nose in a frantic attempt to do anything. Not my style. I mean, there’s a worst case scenerio, and any time I think about making some kind of an effort in a different direction than I’m used to going I think of two things:

1) The current state of the last girl who did that … and how much like that I don’t want to be...
2) How he acts regarding my friends and family members. Either he’s really stupid, which is bad, or he’s doing it purposefully knowing what the reaction will be, which is worse.
3) The amazing tendancy he has of assuming you are going to run to him and fulfill every need and want he may have at any particular given moment. While simultaneously keeping more distance than one of the chosen people from a pariah! Of course, you are not afforded the same luxury.

Perhaps he needs a harem, or at least a geisha…certainly not someone who has pride and self respect. Of course….thinking about it now….hmmm….nope, boy has a miserable track record with girls and self respect. None of them had any. Not the ones that I know, and not the ones that I didn’t know but someone else did….hee hee…it’s fun to find out facts about fu….right….sorry, got carried away by the alliteration.

I feel so much better now that I have reasoned all that out. I wasn’t sure what was bugging me or why. Even my darling little M fits the archetype…I on the other hand, do not, which I kind of knew from the beginning.

I’m really sick of potential relationships failing because “I’m okay, you’re fucked up” if someone isn’t ready for a decent relationship, something normal and forthright, they should be required by law to wear a sign on their forehead that says … simply … BROKEN and that should be all there is to it. The girls who like that kind of thing can run for them, and the girls like me can run the hell away before ever saying hello. That’s the way the world would work if I had control. Until then I will just sing to myself….

Yep, that’s what’s running through my head right now….well that and one other song…but that’s reserved for someone else, no one but he deserves the Lush songs. Except for me…I love that band. Going to play some now. Yes, I am at work, and no, that doesn’t stop me. I love my job!

This is it for now. I’m going to go vent my frustration in the rain.

~Dryad~

Next | Home | Back