Jack leaned against the back of the SUV, ankles crossed and hands shoved in his pockets, as he watched Ianto and Owen approach the open garage door. They alternated between glowering and grinning fast enough to make Jack’s head spin. Both could change moods at the drop of a hat, especially around each other. Jack often wondered what made the two men’s relationship so volatile.

He caught the tail end of their conversation, and smiled. Crisis averted for the moment.

“If you two are finished bonding over 80’s pop culture.” Jack interrupted as they approached, “we should probably get this inside.” He swung open the tailgate and then caught Ianto’s wrist as the Welshman stepped forward to look inside.

"Sorry about before. Didn't mean to keep you waiting, we were just having a little break after heaving this thing into the trunk." Jack didn't feel particularly sorry, though he did feel bad for making Ianto stay late again. Maybe he could convince the younger man to stay for a beer or two after the artifact was put away.

“Quite alright, Sir. I was working anyway.” Ianto said smoothly and Jack winced. The accusation that Ianto had been the only one working was implicit.

Ianto had leaned over, fingers hovering over the large artifact, fingers not quite touching, and Jack took a moment to truly study it. They had been hurrying in the field before they had gotten distracted, and Jack hadn’t put much thought into it besides figuring out if it was potentially harmful. There had been no readings at all from it so they just slung it the back. That technique was probably going to get them killed one day, but so far, so good.

It was large, about 2 meters long and 1 wide, tapering off slightly towards one end. It looked vaguely like a very squished, very silver egg. From Outer Space. Well Torchwood, whatever. It seemed so much cooler when you said Outer Space. That’s where they probably got it from. Owen stepped over as well, sliding up behind Jack, and leaning over to look at the object.

“Is it safe?” Ianto asked, fingers inching closer, drawn to a small green glyph on the small end of the “egg”.

“Should be. None of the sensors beeped anyway.” Jack watches as Ianto’s fingers brushed the strange script, slowly and cautiously. He remembered that touch on himself, and bit his lip, resisting the urge to simply grab the younger man and kiss him senseless. Ianto asked for space, and that’s what Jack was going to give him, even if he exploded in the process.

"What do you think it is? You're mister know it all when it comes to alien artifacts. Any ideas?" Owen asked in his ear while leaning against his back.

"Dunno. Never seen anything like this before. Of course it's a big universe, and trillions of years. There's a lot I haven't seen."

Owen thought for a second. "Ever seen an elephant fly?"

"No but I saw a front porch swing." Jack offered.

"And heard a diamond ring?" Owen asked, a grin in his voice.

Ianto snorted.

Jack turned his attention back to the device.

There was something about it.

“Hold on a minute.” He leaned over the artifact, arching carefully to avoid touching it, though it didn’t seem to be harming Ianto. He snagged the bag of equipment and rooted through it, scanning the egg with each piece of technology as he pulled it out, showing the results to the two other men. Still the same. For all the scanners knew it was just some hunk of metal. Jack would feel rather stupid, he decided distractedly, if it turned out to be some type of statuary.

“See. Perfectly fine.” He pointed to Ianto, who was distractedly brushing the green glyph. “He’s still alive anyway.”

“Great. Wonderful scientific test there. Let’s let the tea boy touch it and see what happens.” Owen groused from behind Jack.

Jack grinned and gave the egg a brief pat. “Perfectly fine” he repeated

But still, some small part of his brain was sounding alarms, He wasn’t sure if it was the artifact itself, or the way Ianto was caressing the cold metal, or the warm heavy heat of Owen at his back, or even the stray desire to dig up an old CCTV of Owen and Ianto together.

Jack shook his head to clear it and pushed Owen off gently, steering him to the other side of Ianto.

“There’s some indentations under the glyphs.” He pointed at the green one, and then a long stretched blue one on the other end. “It looks like handholds maybe.”

Ianto looked up, and gave a little questioning hum, eyes drawn back to the green.

“Just grab the handles, Ianto.”

Ianto did so and slowly they inched it out, Jack and Owen scrabbled on the slick shiny service, trying to support it’s weight until they could reach the handles. Owen grabbed his first, shifting some of the weight so Jack could slide his own fingers into the indention.

As soon as his fingertips touched the metal of the handle they began to tingle, and a loud buzz filled his ears. His head shot up to see twin looks of horror on Ianto and Owen’s faces, and he could feel it mirrored on his own.

The buzz turned into a roar and lightening raced up Jack's arms and though his nerves. It felt, he thought distractedly, quite like the few times he'd been electrocuted. He wasn't positive, but he thought he heard screaming, though he was fairly sure it wasn’t him. He felt like every nerve ending was on fire, sharp and clear, while his mind felt muddled. All this in less then a second, and then everything erupted into a brilliant white light before he hit the ground.

---

Jack came back to his senses and groaned, feeling his body throb and twitch with the aftershocks. "Ow. What, the hell, was that?" He slowly rolled over and pushed himself up, wincing as palms dug into the rough ground.

He looked for the other two men. He could just barely make out Owen, lying on the ground and rubbing at his eyes. Ianto was kneeling and looking shell-shocked.

"I don't fucking know.” Owen answered, before slipping into doctor mode. “How do you feel? Any damage? Any new arms sprouting or anything?"

Jack reviewed him self, checking for anything new. He resisted the temptation to peek under his boxers, and settled for just hoping nothing was mixed up down there. "Headache?" he finally said, uncertainly.

Owen grunted, which Jack to mean he thought the captain would live. "Yan?"

Ianto stood up, and swayed, stumbling before righting himself "I seem to be…undamaged." he chose the last word carefully.

"What are you a fucking Borg?" Owen demanded, and Jack snickered at the decidedly grumpy tone.

Ianto rolled his eyes. "I'm fine. Dull headache, and it sounds like you’re underwater, but nothing to complain about."

"Well I feel like I've been stabbed in the eyes.” Owen accept the hand up from Ianto, grabbing on to his elbow as the Welshman overbalanced.

“Call Tosh and Gwen” he continued. “And have them get up here to guard this thing. I need to check us out to see if it fried our
brains, before we get some protective gear and try to touch it again."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Aren't I boss again?"

"Shut up, medical out ranks you when our health depends on it."

"Only in Star Trek." Ianto muttered under his breath, earning a death glare from Owen.

Jack rolled his eyes and lifted his hips to reach the mobile in his back pocket. He refused to stand up before it was absolutely
necessary. The cold of the cement was starting to seep into his back, and it helped the lingering ache. He hit the standard alarm that would have the missing team members at the hub within minutes. After a moments though he sent out a text. “In the garage. Still breathing. No rush.”

Jack turned his head to see Owen still clutching Ianto’s elbow, and he wondered who was holding whom up.