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| I sat at the arch of space and time waiting for this voice to make good on his promise. And then I heard his all too familiar voice speak from the shadows. Dr. Dave. Dr. Dave. How you have disappointed all of us. Now wait just a second! No. Do not turn around. Let me speak. I need your help. Only you have the power...or concern to help me now. My powers are fading...if nothing changes, I will be human soon. Will you help me? Sure. The less humans, the better. Then look at my face! |
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| BLACKBEARD?!? Yes, it is I. But...I thought you got married and ran off with the Watcher. I did...and what a mistake it was. She has left me for an amateur Mexican wizard. Unfortunately the Watcher knew the origin of my powers and is using that knowledge to drain my powers and give them to this foolish wizard! If we don't stop them, not only will I be in danger, but the entire universe. It takes a lot of control to hold the awesome powers inside...this Mexican lacks this retention ability. He'll explode magic across the cosmos, warping everything it touches. Aye, tis a dark fate indeed.... |
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| Observe, good doctor, even now the Watcher is draining the powers of the cosmos, slowing time indefinitely. What does this mean? Eventually we will be stuck in the same loop of time forever. So George Bush will be the president forever? Yes. Hmm...somehow I knew he'd have a part in the apocalypse. What? It has nothing to do with... Anyway, how do we stop this big beast? Well, we must first leave this alternate reality. What? This isn't the real reality? No...I will explain. Come on! |
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| Can we take the doggie? He's really fast...and Roman! Umm...that's a statue. No, it isn't! These things are real! Look, there's a portal just a few blocks up. Why don't we just walk there instead? Ok. Fine. Forget the dog then. Yes. Forget the dog and please take your finger out of its ass. Ha...sorry... |
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| How about we stop here for a bit? A titty bar? Yeah! Think about all the pleasant diversions we could have. Plus, if time slows to a crawl, we can spend eternity looking at naked chicks! No! What are you thinking? Do you get dumber every time you have an adventure? Yes...actually...I have to stop having adventures or soon I'll have the brains of a really really dumb redneck which is in the negative numbers area. Yeah. Well, I don't think it's too far from that now. Now let's go to the portal. |
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| This is the portal, but what's happening? Dr. Dave...you're aging incredibly! I...can't...do...this!!! You're right, something's wrong. This portal isn't working. My magic isn't opening it enough. Could it be that I'm already this weak? I don't know! Just get me off this damn thing! Yes, that's the best course of action. But what next? The Watcher and the Mexican have their power in the real reality while we're stuck here. How can we stop them? Never fear, for I have a cunning plan! |