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| SHIVER ME TIMBERS!!!! IT BE VIRGINIA WOOLFE!!! Who's afraid of Virginia Woolfe...? THAT'D BE ME, MADAM. AHHHHHHHHHH! And why are you afraid of little old me, Blackbeard? You know, you never called. By all that's unholy, I'll slay you if you speak again! EEGGGHH! |
| Welcome to hell, weary travellers. Unfortunately, as you can see, I am quite occupied at the moment. I go on break in a few seconds so if you want to wait, I'll be with you shortly. Hey, quit touching my leg, you! Yes, you! Grrr....don't make me come down in that lake of fire. Oh, I'm sorry. They always get routy when they get visitors, perks em up it does. But if you want to make yourselves busy for a while, you can go see the sights and maybe some of the people. Just don't eat anything, ok? I know burning flesh on a pike looks and sounds good, but trust me, it isn't. So you kiddies go on and play. I'll look you up when I get off. I'll also slip into something more comfortable. This holy garb is quite uncomfortable. |
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| Eh, Blackbeard I vink your vear of ze volfe comes from an aborted attempt to sleep vith your mother. Yarr...Hell be like a history class...I hate history. Blackbeard, I was hoping you could help me out with a problem. I've been having these dreams lately where I hogtie a girl, slit her throat and drink her blood. Do you think I'm going crazy? What does it all mean? It all means that you have a morbid obsession vith your mother and her menstrual cycle. This is brought on by your secret contempt of your mother for not being as furtile as she should be and only having you. Wow...thank you, Dr. Frued. You've really opened my eyes. Up until now I've thought that these dreams meant I was born to be a bloodthirsty pirate, but now...I realize that I just need to go home and tell mother I love her! |
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| FIrSt MaTe CaRtEr, YoU wOn'T bE tElLiNg AnYoNe AnYtHiNg. YoUr SoUl ShAlL nEvEr LeAvE tHiS pLaCe Of EnDlEsS tOrMeNt. YoUr BlAcK hEaRt AnD wHiTe FaCe ArE mOrE tHaN eNoUgH tO hAvE yOu BaNiShEd HeRe FoR eTeRnItY. PLuS yOu KnOw ThE BIbLiCaL cOrOlLaRy ThAt StAtEs ThAt AnYoNe KiLlEd In HeLl ReMaInS iN HElL, dOn'T yOu? So AwAy WiTh YoU! NOOOOOOO!!!! I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! YOU'RE..AHHHH!!!!! SUFFER! SUFFER!! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! |
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| Blood has been spilled on this ground! We must leave this place and quickly! Christina, why?! Why must you kill him now?! Weary travellers, you must trust me when I say that this murder may wind up killing us all. Come with me and escape this awful place and I will tell you what you came here to hear. What if ye be leadin' us astray? Think about it, Blackbeard. She's taking us OUT of Hell. Hell is not somewhere we want to be, therefore, it is impossible for her to be leading us astray. Well, when you put it that way...I suppose it's ok. She be too hot for me to say no anyway. I have a strange feeling that in a past life we were very close... Enough with your dilly dallying and assumptions about stupid things. We must leave. Time is of the essence and so is running. |