The Amazing PIRATEY Adventures of Dr. Dave...continued...

Yes, that's Heath peeing in a public fountain. We here at Dream Visions Inc. strongly support public urination. So, please piss everywhere possible.

Alright, boys and girls! Gather round as I bless the water in this fountain. Now, you need to come around and drink this blessed water. One drink of this water will give you extra strength and a personality. And yes...all of you need personalities. This place is duller than a Wednesday night church service. So, who's gonna drink first?

Now, this is a buffedled Dr. Dave. I realize this was a drunk Dr. Dave. However, I have the power to use the same picture over and over to mean different things. So there.

WHAT? YOU SICK SON OF A MONKEY UNCLE'S SECOND COUSIN'S BROTHER'S MOTHER! YOU JUST WEED IN A FOUNTAIN AND YOU NOW EXPECT US TO DRINK IT?! Hmm...that sounds about typical of one of my adventures. But, hey, lowly freshman loser, you go first.

Lowly Freshman Loser: I don't wanna go! I have sensitive taste buds!
Big Ugly Mob: You must go. We are a big ugly mob that has no significance in the story other than to tell you to drink the urine...err..water.
Lowly Freshman Loser: Ok. Fine. I'll go. Where's a glass?

Yes what a wonderful way to drink a blessed cup of urine!

And so, with that, Dr. Dave and the Lowly Freshman Loser drank the blessed urine....errr...umm...water. However, little did they know that the water was truly blessed and that a great change in them was about to occur...

I have a gut. It's sad, I know. Please forgive my overeager stomach.

GREAT SCOTT...err...YARRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!! I be stronger now, more intelligent, more seaworthy more piratey...and much less grammatically correct! Shiver me timbers...bring me grog! GROG! GROOOOGGGG!! Or a Coke. Argghh...a Coke will do just fine. I don't even know what Grog is...Avast ye, lowly freshman loser! Get me a Coke!

Wow...doesn't Carter look awesome as a pirate...he's so dreamy...ahhh....to be with a nice scurvy knave like that...

Blow it out ye arse, lily-liver! I not be ye freshman tart any longer. I am now First Mate Carter! So shiver in ye timbers! Blow me down! Bless me bunyans! I feel like raping and pillaging! I wanna swab the deck with the blood of a virgin princess! If you believe in magic and I hope you do, you'll always have a friend wearing big red shoes! I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok! I want chicken! I want liver! Meow Mix! Meow Mix! Please deliver! Thi...

Silence, you piddling fools! Do you think that I gave you these powers to make horribly cliched statements in a voice that tries so hard to be piratey and fails so miserably? No, I gave you these powers that you could do a little something for me. Now, for starters, click here to go the next page.

Another pic of Heath, I know what you're thinking...but no, I don't have a thing for Heath. He's essential for the plot. Ok...maybe not...but still....hey! I don't see you pestering Emily about this....oopps.....I sure am glad no one's reading these things!