The Amazing PIRATEY Adventures of Dr. Dave...continued...again...

Please...I don't want to write anymore about this damn picture!

Thank you for clicking. Now, I shall reveal to you my plans. You, my pirate crew, shall help me revenge myself on that waving girl chick! Why the waving girl? Well, she and I go way back. Before people were fond of her, they called her the waving slut. She waved to everyone...except me that is...so now, she must die! Allow me to show you my true form now. Ahem...shalom shalom shalam!

This is an old guy we found and dressed up just for this comic. Well, not just for this comic. We put him in a video with another old guy who was dressed up like George Washington and made them fight. It was pretty cool. Except this old guy wimped out and ran away. If you ever find him...he'll be wearing these clothes..he's too poor for more...you should taunt him without mercy.

Ahhh...that's so much better. For those of ye who haven't realized it yet, I am not Shalom. I just remember hearing that screamed at me when I boarded a Jewish ship and slaughtered the crew. Yes, that's right. Look at me with fear. I am none other than the ghost of Blackbeard! I know what you're thinking, you say my beard is grey. Well, it's a thing that comes with age. And don't think about changing my name. It took long enough to make people fear the name Blackbeard. It'll take even longer to get them to fear Greybeard. Now, let's go get the girl!

Blackbeard's ghost is like a lovely little mother to Dr. Dave and Carter. How precious!

And so, our brave, bold, and zesty anti-heroes travel on their way to punish the selfish Waving Girl. We will rejoin them in a moment, but first, we'd like to bring you a short message about octopi.

This has to be one of the dumbest pictures that I've ever seen. I have no reason for saying that. It's just dumb. I mean come on.

For years, the dreaded octopus has been allowed to disturb the usually calm waters of the seven seas. As shown in this illustration, octopi attack even the most peaceloving vessels. Here we see an octopi attack a Dutch ship that was delivering chocolate to the Belgians. Is there no stopping these destructive cephalopods? Yes, there is something you can do! If everyone in the world dumps oil in the oceans, these monstrous mollusks will slowly become extinct and trade can continue!

Yes, all three of us together! We are a deadly duo...err..trio!

Come now, do it for us, pirates! Push the little button there and make a safer world for everyone! It's just like Louis says, "What a wonderful world without octopi."

Thank ye for helping us make the world a better place for pirates and noble seamen everywhere. Hit the button as often as you can to make every Republican proud.

What's more menacing than a giant elephant head? A giant elephant head telling you that you've missed a lot of your favorite show because of a gay infomercial.

Alright, boys and girls! Get ready because we now return to our regularly scheduled programming already in progress. Yes, I realize that you've missed a lot of it. So, what? Ah, suck my tusk, you moron.

YARR!! It be the Waving Girl! Attack men! No, no, no! Blackbeard! What be ye doing to that dog?! Oh, no! Hurry, click here before something very bad for genetics happens...