The Amazing PIRATEY Adventures of Dr. Dave!

The Amazing Piratey Adventures of Dr. Dave!

Mmm...I love ice cream cake...did you know that there is fudge inside it?!

We join our Delicious Doctor as he is enjoying an also delicious ice cream cake on his eighteenth birthday. However, little does he know of the prophecy that was foretold on the date of his birth. Little does he know that with this cake, he paves the way to his ruin and weight gain.

That's right folks, this wonderful dude is the Blessed Saint Symphorian. To contact the Blessed Saint Symphorian, you can email him at symphorian@hotmail.com Please email only if you actually have something relevant to say. Thank you. That is all. Well, also....the prophecy comes courtesy of Bruce Dickinson of Iron Maiden on the album Powerslave. It is a song called Flash of the Blade. Please Bruce, don't sue me!

He who hath an ear let him hear the ancient prophecy of the Blessed Saint Symphorian:
As a young boy chasing dragons with a wooden sword so mighty
You�re St. David or you�re Dr. Dave and always killed the beast
Times change very quickly, and you had to grow up early
A house in smoking ruins and the bodies at your feet
You�ll die as you lived in a flash of the blade
In a corner forgotten by no one
You lived for the touch, for the feel of the steel
One man and his honor
The smell of resined leather, the steely iron mask
As you cut and thrust and parried at the fencing master�s call
He taught you all he ever knew, to fear no mortal man
And now you�ll wreak your vengeance in the screams of evil men

Dr. Dave, after having several several several several beers...or if you're a figure of authority that may persecute Dr. Dave...they were root beers, either way Dr. Dave began unfairly hazing a lowly freshman loser, which escalated in Mr. Wilson, the menace to Dennis the Menace smashing Dr. Dave on the head with a beer bottle. Now our story begins...

Yes, this is a picture of Dr. Dave, royally drunk. All you women, feel free to drool.

Oh, no! What be this fowl creature I see, staring at me?! Who is this figure that doth corrupt the night with his loud protestations and his fiery visage? Be he friend or be he foe? By the darkness in his eyes, he must posess some supernatural power! Demon or angel come back again, I will face him with all the might I posess!

To add to the effect, you should see him on a post, not just on the ground. It was rather high up...quite a feat. I, however, was hoping he'd burst his head open. What a great pic that'd make. Of course the cops would confiscate it, but still. It'd be neat for the site.

Foolish, mortals! You cannot stop me! My powers are immesurable! Demon, angel, god, I am none of these. My power is greater. I am he who is called Shalom. Although I posess limitless powers, I do not wish you harm. I wish to help you, Dr. Dave. Ancient prophecy foretells your one day greatness. It also tells of a powerful mystic that will guide you on your way. Tremble! For I am that mystic. And I will now join your band of scruffy ne'erdowells.

Click here to continue the journey!