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| Zack Wilson |
| So, this is how it is to be free. For those of you that don't know, I'm making it my life's mission to teach the peoples of the world what true freedom is. For years I was captive in an Al Queero camp. I really didn't hate the people there, they're just misunderstood, really. I did hate what they did to me though. I'm not made for high speed camel chases. Dream Visions and Dr. Dave took me away. Thanks guys. Oh, and if you ever find Osama, ask him to play his ocarina. It's really awesome! Go crazy ocarina man, go! |
| And now a message from Dr. Dave... |
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| Greetings, space fans. I recently attended a Summer Honor's Program at North Georgia State College and University. However, even I know that you can't slack off doing good works just because you're on a "vacation". There's no such thing as a real vacation. So, I took my tools and set out to help those around me. I think I really made a difference in a lot of people. These next few stories are the tales of those people and how we helped them out. This is Dr. Dave signing out.... Good lovin' and good home cookin' to you all! |
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| Amy Wells |
| Yes, I am a black widow. I know most of you want to run now, but please don't. We black widows get a really bad name. Now, I know we may deserve a little of it. Yes, we are very poisonous spiders and yes we do eat our husbands. But really, ladies, come on. Aren't we living out your fantasy? Who wants to have a relationship with a stupid male? Just use them for procreation and leave them, that's what we need to do. Thanks to Dr. Dave and Dream Visions for allowing me to be an eloquent enough speaker to be able to educate than frighten. Hmm...Dr. Dave...he looks good enough to eat eh? MWA HA HA HA HA HA!!! |
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| Hayley Athan |
| I am a cow. But that doesn't stop me. I'm still a go-getter. I'm still a heroine. I still rise to the occasion. I used to think I was only good for chewing cud and waiting to be the next order at Burger King, but not anymore. Just look at me, I am one powerfully sexy cow! Oh, and one more thing. Eat mor chikin! |
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| Marty Simpson |
| I understnad society's fixation with villians. From Satan to Osama bin Laden, man has been obsessed with evil and what it is. What I really can't grasp is why a mole is considered such an evil creature. Ever since Whack-A-Mole(TM), we moles have been unfairly persecuted by geeks with hammers and now exterminators with gas. Well, thanks to Dr. Dave, he taught me to embrace the picture society has created for me. So, wanna die? I'll club you with my cane, sucka! |
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| Billy Wiegand |
| Hello there. My name is Billy and this is a FLOCK OF SEAGULLS! Ha ha ha. All odd puns aside, I once had a problem expressing my individuality. I felt that I was just another seagull in the whole scheme of things. Well, Dr. Dave and taught me how to express my self. So, now I'm a dive bombing pooping machine. Sometimes, it's really artistic how I dive in to drop one. No one has anything on me. But if you come around, there will be something on you. Hee hee hee. |
| Brittney Walden |
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| I want to clear the record. I have never nor do I intend to fling poo. That is barbaric and simply below our species. It's more of a rodentia thing. Nor are we power hungry and bent on dominating man. We know our place. We're happy. Except for zoos and the abuse we recieve from popular culture and the media. Dr. Dave taught us how to fight back. We can fight media filth with lies, just like the Nazis used to do! Peter Jennings is a loser! Dan Rather smells like dead fish! What? Would a monkey lie to you? |
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