crow5

Uhh...I tink I done found the wrong door. Oops.

It seems I have stumbled in upon a skeletal dinner party. I just hope they don't poo. Oh, Jesus, don't let them poo. Nonetheless, I shall cater their little feast with blood, blood, blood! Ha ha ha ha ha. They will never know which way I come from. I am on fire. I am an atom bomb. I am that which explodes and everyone recoils from. I am Jupiter, I am Saturn. I am...I am...dare I say it...no, that'd make me stuck here forever. For the record, I am not god. Nope, it ain't me. Ahem, now to the skeletons.
Hello, gents. How is the betting today? The odds any good?

Guybrush Threepwood? Is he still dead? Nope, nope. He's back. Back? Yeah, in an all new 3-Dimensional Adventure. Arrghh...Argghhh indeed. Were we hired? No, they don't need no skeletons. No skeletons? What kind of game is that? It be Guybrush's dance party..arrghhh.

Arghh...they're great laddie. 2 to 1. Wait, who are ye? It be Guybrush Threepwood. Threepwood? That ain't Threepwood. It look like a Threepwood to me. No, no. Guybrush is...errr...hmm...thinner. Arrgghh...thinner. Ay, you be right. This one has a meaty look about 'im. Let's eat him. Nah, he looks too dirty. Dirty? Since when did that bother you? When? Argghh...it was me piratey days. They used to call me Clean Cuttin' Clancy. Those were the days. Ay. Ay. Ay ay. Ay...so...who might ye be? Dr. Dave? Dr. Dave be it? Arrgghh...have we heard of him? Are ye a chiropractor? Me back is killing me. No, no. Hope he brings food. Does he bring food? Do you bring food?

Do I bring food? Kind of. I bring just desserts to those who have practiced wicked deeds upon the land, to those who have murdered the innocent, and to those that put drinks on tables without coasters. Just so you all know, you fit into all or at least one of those categories. Am I a chiropractor? Yes, I plan on braking all your bones and turning them into dust. The only way you can avoid being bone chips is to tell me where Satan resides. Ah, he's in the kitchen? And the kitchen is behind those doors. Yes. Good. Simple instructions. Oh, and I'll be sure to tell him that you're all out of grog. Later!

Is Satan wearing an apron. Satan is wearing an apron. "Kiss the Dark Lord" it says. Hee hee.

SPRINKLE A BIT OF LOVE, SPRINKLE A BIT OF A SUNNY DAY. THAT'S HOW WE MAKE WATERMELON SOUFFLE. AH, YES. IT IS YOU, DR. DAVE. I HAVE BEEN EXPECTING YOU. YOU CANNOT TAKE THE LORD OF DARKNESS BY SURPRISE, YOU KNOW. I MADE THIS DISH JUST FOR YOU, DR. DAVE. HAVE A BITE. IT IS VERY DELICIOUS! MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

I am pissed. Don't I looked pissed...or is that jaundice?

Satan, lord of darkness, bane of my existance, do not believe I can be fooled this easily. I am your superior. I have conquered many cities, traversed many lands, and now here I am face to face with the murderer of the innocent himself, Lucifer. You shall pay for having that poor woman killed. I don't care if I have to kill you myself you will not get away with such a bold murder. Satan, prepare thyself for death. GRIZZLY BEARD ATTACK!!!!!!!

Satan makes me an offer I cannot refuse...is he my godfather?

PATHETIC BOY, DO YOU THINK A GRIZZLY BEARD ATTACK CAN STOP ME? DON'T YOU REALIZE WHO I AM AND WHAT I'VE DONE IN YOUR LIFE. IT IS I WHO HAVE RUINED YOUR SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS, IT IS I WHO HAVE RUINED YOUR INTELLECTUAL RELATIONSHIPS, AND IT IS I WHO PEED ON YOUR CHICKEN! DR. DAVE, I AM YOUR...YOUR DARK SIDE. WORSHIP ME! EMBRACE ME! TOGETHER WE CAN RULE THE UNIVERSE AS ONE SUPREME DARK BEING. DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND, YOU FOOLISH BOY, YOU CANNOT STOP EVIL! YOU ARE EVIL!

Will Dr. Dave accept Satan's offer or will Dr. Dave get revenge. Find out in Act 6...or page 6 of the Dimension of tHe CrOw. Click here, munchkin.