Chapter Seven
NeverMind © 2004
Jocelyn started training at Starbucks the next day and after numerous consults with Elijah, Dom asked her out a few days later. He showed up at her work wearing a big red clown nose and holding a balloon.
“What’s this all about?” she asked him.
“Pop it,” he instructed, handing her the balloon.
She did and caught a piece of paper as it floated out of the balloon’s wreckage.
“‘Pasquale’s, 7:00 tonight,’” she read.
“Join me?” he asked.
She laughed. “Absolutely.”
“Brilliant!” he declared. “I’ll see you around 6:30, yeah?”
“Sure,” she answered.
“Okay, great! I should let you get back to work,” he said and started walking away.
“Wait!” she called after him. “Fun or formal?” she wanted to know.
He pulled the clown nose off his face and let it snap back. “Fun,” he said with a smile. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Was that who I thought it was?” Jocelyn’s co-worker asked her.
“Probably. Who did you think it was?” she asked.
“Charlie from Lost.”
“Yeah, that was him.”
“Oh my god!” the girl squealed. “You just got asked out by Dominic Monaghan!”
“Yeah, I did,” Jocelyn chuckled. “And I live with my best friend Elijah Wood – go figure.”
The girl’s mouth dropped to the floor and stayed there the rest of Jocelyn’s shift.
Jocelyn and Dom started dating in earnest after that first night and it was all Elijah could do to swallow back his growing jealousy. He was fine if it was just him and Jocelyn, but as soon as Dom was around, he felt really awkward and defensive. The worst part was, Kyla was starting to notice.
“You’re in love with her, aren’t you?” she asked him two days before Jocelyn’s first gig.
“What?”
“Jocelyn – you’re in love with her,” Kyla repeated herself.
“No, Kyla, I – ” he started, but gave up.
“No, Lij, it’s okay. I understand.”
“You do? How? I don’t even understand.”
“You will.”
“But her and Dom…”
“What about them? As far as I can tell, they’re just having fun.”
“You think so?”
“I don’t know. It’s just what I think.”
“Kyla, I’m so sorry.”
“Why? There’s nothing to be sorry about. I kinda saw it coming.”
“Oh god, I’m such a bastard,” he lamented.
“No, you’re not. But you would be if you stayed with me and pretended you don’t feel what you feel.” She got up and kissed him one last time. “It was good to get to know you, Elijah. I hope everything works out for you.”
He watched her leave then hung his head. I’m so fucked, he thought to himself. How the heck am I gonna get myself out of this one?
That Saturday morning, Elijah woke up to someone coming into his room. He opened his eyes a crack to see who it was. Jocelyn was standing there, looking distressed.
“Hey,” she said softly. “I didn’t mean to wake you. I’ll come back later.” She started to leave again.
“No, it’s okay,” he said groggily, sitting up. “What’s up?”
She was wringing her hands. “I’m freaking out.”
“Why?”
“I don’t – I don’t think I can do this – this performance thing. I haven’t slept in days. I’m go down like burning fuselage tonight,” she insisted.
“Whoa, drama queen, back the truck up,” Elijah said, rubbing his face. “You’re gonna be fine, you know you are.”
“No, I don’t know I am. Good god, have you heard who Dom’s all invited? Both casts from Rings and Lost. I think I’m gonna be sick.”
He managed to wake up enough to really look at her. He couldn’t remember seeing her this stressed out before.
“So don’t do it,” he suggested.
“What?”
“Quit, back out.”
“I can’t – I can’t do that,” she said.
“So if you can’t perform and you can’t quit, what are you gonna do?”
She got into his bed and pulled the covers over her head. “I’ll stay here for the rest of my life,” he heard her say.
He pulled the covers off her face. “You can’t do that either, Joce,” he said.
“Why not?”
“Because you’ll get bed sores.”
“Oh.” She sighed heavily. “What am I gonna do, Lij?”
“You’re gonna go out there and blow them all away, that’s what.”
“Are you sure?”
“Am I sure? Have I been your best friend your whole life?”
She closed her eyes and smiled.
“Feel better?” he asked.
“Yeah. But now I’m sleepy,” she yawned.
“So sleep. I’ll wake you up later,” he suggested.
“Okay,” she yawned again. “Hey, is Kyla coming tonight?” she asked.
“No. We broke up the other day.”
Jocelyn’s eyes flew open. “What? Oh god, I’m so sorry, Lij.”
“No, it’s okay. It was mutual.”
“What happened?”
“I thought you said you were sleepy.”
“I am but – ”
He kissed her cheek. “We can talk about it later. Go to sleep.”
“Are you sure?” she yawned again.
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“Okay,” she murmured and with that, was out like a light.
Elijah quietly left the room. How do I tell her? He thought. Do I tell her? He revised the question. He picked up the phone. He needed a third opinion on this subject.
“Hello?” a bright female voice answered.
“Hi Christine,” Elijah said.
“Elijah! How are you sweetie?”
“Oh, I’m okay. Is Sean around?”
“Yeah, he’s right here, hold on.” There was a short silence as Christine passed the phone on to her husband.
“I don’t know if I’m talking to you,” Sean said.
“Why not?”
“Because you haven’t introduced me to your friend yet.”
“Sorry about that.”
Sean could tell his friend was in no mood to joke. Something was up. “What’s up, Lij? You sound upset.”
“Is it possible to just be best friends with a woman?” Elijah cut right to the chase.
“Well, sure. I don’t see why not,” Sean said, not really sure what his friend was getting at.
“What if you’re in love with her?”
“Uh-oh. When did this happen?”
“The summer of grade seven,” Elijah laughed sadly. “But now I really think I’m in love with her. At first I thought it was just lust, cuz I mean she’s fucking gorgeous, Sean – but it’s…it’s not just that. She knows me, she understands me, I can be myself around her…” his voice trailed off.
“I thought Dom was dating her,” Sean said.
“He is.”
“How did that happen if you’re the one who’s in love with her?”
“Because I was still dating Kyla then.”
“And you’re not now?”
“No, we just broke up.”
“Because of Jocelyn?”
“Yeah.”
“Geez, Lij. Could you have picked a messier situation to be in?”
“Tell me about it. I don’t know what to do.”
“Well, what are you thinking?”
“I want to tell her – but I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do, you know? I mean, her and Dom seem to really like each other and I couldn’t – I couldn’t bear to lose her completely. Maybe – maybe it’ll pass,” he said.
“It’s been two weeks already – has it passed yet?”
“No, it’s got worse.”
“Yeah, then I wouldn’t count on it getting any better. I don’t know, man. I’m stumped. You don’t think she knows already?”
“That’s just it – I don’t know. I mean, she came to me this morning because she was freaking out about tonight – she didn’t call Dom or wake Hannah up. I don’t know if that means anything.”
“Well, sure it does. It means she trusts you.”
“Yeah, but does she know how crazy she makes me when she does things like crawl into bed with me? Or – or the way she touches me? I mean – I’m going fucking insane here.”
“Do you think she would keep doing things like that if you told her it bothered you?”
“No.”
“Then why haven’t you told her?”
“Because I don’t want her to stop doing those things.”
“Well, then don’t blame her for it.”
Elijah sighed heavily. “I’m fucked, aren’t I?”
“Well, as far as I can figure, you take a risk one way or another. If you tell her, you risk pushing her away, but if you don’t tell her, you could end up starting to resent her and losing her that way. But on the other hand, if you do tell her, you also run the risk of having her respond positively.”
Elijah didn’t say anything.
“Sorry, man. I can’t make that decision for you.”
“I know. Thanks for letting me rant.”
“Anytime, Lij. You know I’m here for you.”
“I do. Thanks. Are you and Christine coming tonight?”
“Absolutely. Babysitter’s arranged and everything.”
“Great. Then I’ll see you later tonight.”
“Sure. Take care.”
“You too.”
Dom, Elijah and Hannah were in the green room at DJ’s Pub with Jocelyn later that night. She was pacing the room and they were trying to calm her.
“Oh, Joce, you’ll be fine! I know you will be,” Hannah said.
Dom stopped her by putting his arms around her. “Look at me,” he said. “You are amazing. They’re going to love you.”
“You know, I’d probably be okay if you hadn’t invited every famous person you’d ever met,” she said to him.
“What? Only a few of them came!”
“A few! You packed the place out!”
Dom just laughed. “They’re just normal folks, I swear.”
“Whatever.”
Dom kissed her gently. “We’ll go get your stage ready,” he said.
“Okay.”
“Come on, Hannah – will you help me set up?” he asked.
“Sure. I don’t know anything about instruments,” she said as she followed him out.
Jocelyn plopped down next to Elijah, who hadn’t said a word yet. She rested her head on his shoulder. “Tell me again I’ll be okay,” she said softly.
“Why do you need me to tell you?” he asked.
“Because I’ll believe you.”
He closed his eyes as though she’d caused him pain. “You’re amazing. You’ll be okay.”
They sat there like that for another five minutes before Hannah poked her head into the room. “They’re ready for you,” she said with a smile.
Jocelyn grabbed Elijah’s hand as they stood up to leave and pulled him into a hug. “I’m okay now,” she said, after pulling away from him.
But I’m not, he thought as he followed her out of the room. He watched as every head in the place turned as she entered the room – even before she was introduced. After DJ, the owner, introduced her, she got up on stage and slung the guitar Elijah had bought her over her shoulder. She strummed a few chords and looked up at the audience with a smile. Elijah could tell she’d almost completely relaxed. She put a hand up to shield her eyes against the spotlights so she could look at the crowd.
“Good god,” her sonorous voice filled the room, “There are a lot of faces out there that I recognize – and not because I’ve ever met you personally.” A chuckle spread throughout the room. “How many actors are in the house tonight?” she asked and a cheer went up. “How many non-actors?” she asked and a smaller cheer went up. “No, wait – how many people are here who have no association whatsoever with acting?” One guy in the back cheered. “Hmm, it would seem that we’re a little outnumbered, my friend,” she said with a laugh.
She strummed herself an introduction and started to sing “Is it true that I could be stranded on a mysterious island in Middle Earth? Charlie’s over there looking so sad, he’s had to enter island rehab and now he’s seeing walking, talking trees. But have no fear, the king is here, riding in on his mighty steed – a painted breed that answers to Hidalgo. Don’t let his blue eyes fool you, Frodo will destroy that ring of power – just don’t let him put anything on your head – he might try to steal your girlfriend. And all the boys from Troy are here; unfortunately they’re all clothed. We’ll look to Will Turner to get the girl – thank god; we thought the elf might be gay! Jack and Kate, we don’t know your fate, but I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time for sex on the beach. And all we can hope is that the Master & Commander’s sailor can build us a boat before getting high on Longbottom leaf. Is it true that I could be stranded on a mysterious island in Middle Earth? Someone set me free…set me free!” she ended her song to raucous cheers and laughter.
“Thank you,” she said. “My friend Elijah can tell you how badly I was freaking out this morning about being here tonight. But Dom said if I could make everyone laugh, I should be okay, so thank you for letting me make up a song for you. My name is Jocelyn Jordan, and somebody better keep an eye on the clock – I could get carried away here.” And with that, she launched into her set.
“My god,” Viggo Mortensen breathed after a few numbers, “I have never wanted to be a microphone so bad in my entire life,” he said.
“It’s a very, very good thing,” Dom told him.
Sean put his hand on Elijah’s shoulder. “You okay, man?”
Elijah just shrugged. “Hell if I know.”
Near the end of her set, Jocelyn decided she wanted a back-up band, so she invited Viggo, Billy & Dom up to help her do a cover of U2’s “Where the streets have no name.”
She finished up about two hours after she’d started, but the crowd wouldn’t let her leave. They kept calling her back for encores. Finally she said, “Okay, okay. You’ve made me run out of my own material already! I’ll play you one last song and then I’m really going to go. This one’s by Sarah McLachlan and I want to dedicate it to my best friend.
Every time I
look at you, the world just melts away
All my
troubles all my fears dissolve in your affections
You’ve seen me
at my weakest but you take me as I am
And when I
fall you offer me a softer place to land.
You stay the
course, you hold the line, you keep it all together
You’re the one
true thing I know I can believe in
You’re all the
things that I desire, you save me, you complete me
You’re the one
true thing I know I can believe
I get mad so
easy but you give me room to breathe
No matter what
I say or do, you’re too good to fight about it
Even when I
have to push just to see how far you’ll go
You won’t
stoop down to battle and you never turn to go
You stay the
course, you hold the line, you keep it all together
You’re the one
true thing I know I can believe in
You’re all the
things that I desire, you save me, you complete me
You’re the one
true thing I know I can believe
You are just
the antidote, nothing else can cure me
There are
times I can’t decide, when I can’t tell up from drown
You make me
feel less crazy when otherwise I’d drown
You pick me up
and brush me off and tell me I’m okay
Sometimes
that’s just what we need to get us through the day
You stay the
course, you hold the line, you keep it all together
You’re the one
true thing I know I can believe in
You’re all the
things that I desire, you save me, you complete me
You’re the one
true thing I know I can believe in
“And that does it for me. Thank you so much for coming out tonight. Please, please, please, don’t drink and drive. You’re all a valuable part of our economy!”
She put down her guitar for the first time in hours and made her way into the crowd. Dom was instantly by her side, introducing her to everyone. Elijah didn’t move from his dark corner. This was starting to get ridiculous.