| Scene 2 | ||
|
(SERGEANT FOGARTY & AMOS HART are standing over the body of the dead FRED CASELY. FOGARTY is writing his report.) AMOS: So I ah� took the gun, Officer, and I shot him. FOGARTY: (writing) I see, and your wife, Roxie Hart, was in no way involved. Is that right? AMOS: That�s right, Officer. FOGARTY: Oh, aren�t you the cheerful little murderer? AMOS: Murderer? (Correcting him) Why just last week, the jury thanked a man for shootin� a burgler. FOGARTY: Well... that�s just fine. Sign right here, Mr. Hart. AMOS: Freely and gladly. Freely and gladly. ANNOUNCER 1: (Music under) For her first number, miss Roxie Hart would like to sing a song of love and devotion, dedicated to her dear husband, Amos. "FUNNY HONEY" ROXIE: SOMETIMES I�M RIGHT SOMETIMES I�M WRONG BUT HE DOESN�T CARE HE�LL STRING ALONG HE LOVES ME SO THAT FUNNY HONEY OF MINE! SOMETIMES I�M DOWN SOMETIMES I�M UP BUT HE FOLLOWS �ROUND LIKE SOME DROOPY-EYED PUP HE LOVES ME SO THAT FUNNY HONEY OF MINE HE AIN�T NO SHEIK THAT�S NO GREAT PHYSIQUE LORD KNOWS HE AIN�T GOT THE SMARTS BUT LOOK AT THAT SOUL I TELL YOU THAT WHOLE IS A WHOLE LOT GREATER THAN THE SUM OF HIS PARTS AND IF YOU KNEW HIM LIKE ME I KNOW YOU�D AGREE WHAT IF THE WORLD SLANDERED MY NAME? WHY, HE�D BE RIGHT THERE TAKING THE BLAME HE LOVES ME SO AND IT ALL SUITS ME FINE THAT FUNNY, SUNNY, HONEY HUBBY OF MINE! AMOS: (to FOGARTY) A man�s got a right to protect his home and his loved ones, right? FOGARTY: Of course, he has. AMOS: Well, I come in from the garage, Officer, and I see him coming through the window. FOGARTY: Uh-huh. AMOS: With my wife, Roxanne there, sleepin�� �like and angel� an angel! ROXIE: HE LOVES ME SO THAT FUNNY HONEY OF MINE AMOS: I mean supposin�, just supposin�, he had violated her or somethin�� you know what I mean� violated? FOGARTY: I know what you mean� AMOS: � or somethin�. Think how terrible that would have been. Good thing I got home from work on time, I�m tellin� ya that! I say I�m tellin� ya that! ROXIE: HE LOVES ME SO THAT FUNNY HONEY OF MINE! FOGARTY: Fred Casely. AMOS: (shocked) Fred Casely!? How could he be a burglar? My wife knows him! He sold us our furniture! ROXIE: LORD KNOWS HE AIN�T GOT THE SMARTS AMOS: She lied to me. She told me he was a burglar. FOGARTY: You mean he was dead when you got home? AMOS: She had him covered with a sheet and she�s givin� me that cock and bull story about this burglar, and I ought to say I did it �cause I was sure to get off. Burglar, huh! | ||
|
ROXIE: NOW HE SHOT OFF HIS TRAP I CAN�T STAND THAT SAP LOOK AT HIM GO RATTIN� ON ME WITH JUST ONE MORE BRAIN WHAT A HALF-WIT HE�D BE IF THEY STRING ME UP I�LL KNOW, I�LL KNOW WHO BOUGHT THE TWINE (Two men enter with a stretcher, they put CASELY on it and exit) THAT SCUMMY, CRUMMY DUMMY HUBBY OF MINE (She gets off the chair and walks straight into the scene) |
AMOS: And I believed her! That chap little tramp. So she was two-timing me, huh? Well, then,she can just Swing for all I care. Boy, I�m down at the garage Working my butt off fourteen hours a day and she�s up munchin� on god-damned bonbos and jazzing. This time she pushed me too far that little chiseler. Boy, what a sap I was! | |
ROXIE: You double-crosser! You said you�d stick! You promised me you�d stick! You god-damned disloyal husband. (to FOGARTY) You wanna know what really happened? I shot him. Put that down in your book. And you wanna know why? He was tryin� to walk out on me. The louse. FOGARTY: That�s a pretty cold-blooded murder, Mrs. Hart. They�re liable to hang you for that one. ROXIE: Hang me? FOGARTY: (with a laugh) Not so tough anymore, are you? ROXIE: Amos, did you hear what he said? (AMOS exits) Son-of-a-bitch!� (she goes on her knees) Hail Mary full of grace� (lights out on ROXIE) | ||