| ACT 1 | |
| Scene 1 | |
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(GO-TO-HELL-KITTY enters and addresses the audience from in front of the Scrim.) GO-TO-HELL-KITTY: Welcome, Ladies & Gentlemen, you are about to see a story of murder, greed, corruption, violence, exploitation, adultery and treachery � all those things we hold near and dear to our hearts. Thank you. (She walks off. A solo trumpet plays; the BANDLEADER counts off the overture. The orchestra is on several platforms. The lights come up. The CAST enters from different positions and dance on the overture. At the end of the overture VELMA KELLY appears from the top platform. She walks forward to the audience.) | |
| "ALL THAT JAZZ" VELMA: COME ON, BABE WHY DON�T WE PAINT THE TOWN? AND ALL THAT JAZZ I�M GONNA ROUGE MY KNEES AND ROLL MY STOCKINGS DOWN AND ALL THAT JAZZ START THE CAR I KNOW A WHOOPIE SPOT WHERE THE GIN IS COLD BUT THE PIANO�S HOT IT�S JUST A NOISY HALL WHERE THERE�S A NIGHTLY BRAWL AND ALL THAT JAZZ SLICK YOUR HAIR AND WEAR YOUR BUCKLE SHOES AND ALL THAT JAZZ I HEAR THE FATHER DIP IS GONNA BLOW THE BLUES AND ALL THAT JAZZ HOLD ON, HON WE�RE GONNA BUNNY HUG I BOUGHT SOME ASPIRIN DOWN AT UNITED DRUG IN CASE YOU SHAKE APART AND WANT A BRAND NEW START TO DO THAT � VELMA & COMPANY: JAZZ BOYS: SKIDOO! VELMA: AND ALL THAT JAZZ BOYS: HOTCHA GIRLS: WHOOPEE VELMA: AND ALL THAT JAZZ COMPANY: HAH! HAH! HAH! VELMA: IT�S JUST A NOISY HALL WHERE THERE�S A NIGHTLY BRAWL AND VELMA & COMPANY: ALL THAT JAZZ | |
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FRED: (Looking around) Listen, uh, your husband ain�t home, is he? (ROXIE shakes her head) | |
| VELMA: No, her husband is not at home. VELMA & COMPANY: (Big Laugh) VELMA: FIND A FLASK WE�RE PLAYING FAST AND LOOSE ALL: AND ALL THAT JAZZ VELMA: RIGHT UP HERE IS WHERE I STORE THE JUICE ALL: AND ALL THAT JAZZ VELMA: COME ON, HON WE�RE GONNA BRUSH THE SKY I BETCHA LUCKY LINDY NEVER FLEW SO HIGH �CAUSE IN THE STRATOSPHERE HOW COULD SHE LEND AN EAR TO ALL THAT JAZZ? COMPANY: OH, YOU�RE GONNA SEE YOUR SHEBA SHIMMY SHAKE VELMA: AND ALL THAT JAZZ COMPANY: OH, SHE�S GONNA SHIMMY TILL HER GARTERS BREAK VELMA: AND ALL THAT JAZZ COMPANY: SHOW HER WHERE TO PARK HER GIRDLE OH HER MOTHER�S BLOOD�D CURDLE IF SHE�D HEAR HER BABY�S QUEER FOR ALL THAT VELMA: JAZZ FRED: Come here babe! | |
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VELMA: ALL THAT JAZZ COME ON, BABE WHY DON�T WE PAINT THE TOWN AND ALL THAT JAZZ I�M GONNA ROUGE MY KNEES AND ROLL MY STOCKINGS DOWN AND ALL THAT JAZZ START THE CAR I KNOW A WHOOPIE SPOT WHERE THE GIN IS COLD BUT THE PIANO�S HOT IT�S JUST A NOISY HALL WHERE THERE�S A NIGHTLY BRAWL AND ALL THAT... |
COMPANY: OH, YOU�RE GONNA SEE YOUR SHEBA SHIMMY SHAKE AND ALL THAT JAZZ OH, SHE�S GONNA SHIMMY �TILL HER GARTERS BREAK AND ALL THAT JAZZ SHOW HER WHERE TO PARK HER GIRDLE OH, HER MOTHER�S BLOOD�D CURDLE IF SHE�D HEAR HER BABY�S QUEER FOR ALL THAT... |
MUSIC CONTINUES UNDER (FRED comes down stairs of platform and fixes pants�) ROXIE: So that�s final, huh Fred? FRED: Yeah, I�m afraid so, Roxie. ROXIE: Oh, Fred... GIRLS: Oh, Fred... FRED: Yeah...? ROXIE: (pointing a gun at him) Nobody walks out on me. (She shoots him) FRED: (as he stumbles) Sweetheart... ROXIE: Don�t "sweetheart" me, you son-of-a-bitch! (She shoots him twice more. He dies. She drops the gun) FRED: Roxie... COMPANY: Hotshot! Whoopee! Jazz! ROXIE: (She looks bewildered, frightened and then nervous) I gotta pee. (ROXIE runs off) VELMA: NO I�M NO ONE�S WIFE BUT, OH, I LOVE MY LIFE AND ALL THAT JAZZ! COMPANY: THAT JAZZ! | |