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o A Battered child *
o A Better tomorrow *
o A Breathless moment *
o A Broken Angel *
o A Castle on the hill **
o A child's cry *
o A Child's Hand
o A Stray Child *
o A Child's Tears *
o A fight I can't win **
o A Haunting Dream *
o A Hero *
o A Knight's Tale
o A Little girl cowers
o A Ghost
o A Simple Tear
o A Simple Ripple **
o A ship lost at sea
o A Slave
o A Stamp of Evil **
o A woman's way **
o Acceptance
o Aimlessly *
o All I want **
o All we can be **
o All we have
o Alone Inside *
o Always saying I'm sorry
o Am I alone
o Am I worthy **
o An angel descends
o An Empty Pen *
o Anger
o As A Child

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** Means the poem appears on this page.

All I Want
All I want to ask, all I want from him,
Is another chance, just one more chance
One more to rebuild what once was,
I know it'll never be the same,
But can he tell me doesn't care?

All I need from him, all I want from him,
Is for him to understand, to just pause a moment,
And think about all that we've built,
I know the magic of yesterday is lost,
But can he tell me it's over?

All I'm asking, all I want from him,
Is another chance, just a moment of understanding,
A chance for him to see my side,
To understand that I haven't stopped loving him,
A chance for him to see my side,
To understand that I haven't stopped loving him,
But can he pause in his black and white world?

All I want to ask, all I want from him,
Is another chance, just one more moment,
To tell him the secrets I hide,
The secrets I can't whisper in the daylight,
But can he pause enough to truly hear me?

Been trying to tell him, to give him my secrets,
It's all I ever wanted, all I ever needed,
Was for him to understand and to love me,
I never asked for more, never wanted more,
But can he ever understand, and accept me for me?

Been feeling as if I'm a disappointment
I can't be an illusion, can't be more then I am,
Doesn't he understand, doesn't he see me for me,
It's all I ever asked for, all that I ever wanted,
But is it too late, has everything crumbled,
And I'm holding onto a pipe dream?

A Stamp of Evil
So long ago, I crawled upon the earth,
Knowing only the circle around me,
Believing it was all it was suppose to be,
But with the charging times,
The truth spoke to me,
Leaving me lost and alone.

The days spinning to night
The memories flashing forward
A dream always to be
A stamp upon my soul
Leaving me alone and lost.

So long ago, I was but a babe
Struggling to learn right from wrong
Never knowing the truth I knew
Was but the dredges of life.

I wonder if I am ever going to know
Why I knew the taste of evil
The stamp placed upon my soul
Even before I knew the blessing
I already held the stamp of evil.

REVISION OF ABOVE:
A line was placed upon me
A line of darkness and contempt
Dooming me to wander aimlessly
To search for what wasn't to be
But I searched in vain,
Learning the stamp placed upon me
Is simply my fate to bare.

May haps one will laugh
At my fate, my illness or disease
But one can't escape the past
Without understanding the lines
Drawn upon their soul
And in the end, I know
The stamp of evil placed upon me
Shall always be, always a reminded
Of the darkness within this world.

I never had a chance, no escaping for me,
Placed upon me before I could understand, always to bare,
Always to have, the stamp of evil
Upon my soul and heart.

A Woman's way
A woman has her won way, and her own cycles,
Tending to the future through the eyes of an innocent child,
But sometimes when the woman was a still a child,
Her innocence was stolen, robbed, and murdered,
Before the child became a woman,
And here she stands, withdrawn, silent and frozen.

She pretends it never happened, living a lie,
Holding onto a dream for a better tomorrow,
But it never comes, frozen in the past,
Still a child, wounded, shattered, and warped,
Seeking love in all the wrong places,
And dying a little more each day.

Upon a twisted note, a trick of fate,
The past becomes the present,
Telling herself, "its only a nightmare"
Doesn't end the nightmare
Marching toward her as her life crumbles
And she pays the piper once again.

A woman has her own way, and her own cycles,
Tending to others with every fiber of her being,
Never for a moment looking at herself
Pretending to herself she's okay
That it's just the way it is,
But sometimes when the curtain falls,
All is covered in darkness
She sees the ghost within her, calling her name.

She dreams to be like everyone else
But she knows no other way, no other path,
Tending to others, sacrificing herself in the name of love,
Caring for the man she loves, and her children,
Telling herself the time will come later
When she can care for herself.

A woman has her own way and her own cycles,
Tending to others, to her home and hearth,
But sometimes it isn't enough
Sometimes she has to look at herself
Seeing the wounds of the past and present,
For sometimes she's still a child
Wanting to be loved.

A woman needs to forget the rules
To stop surrendering herself for others,
And to tend to herself, to allow herself to heal,
To be more then a caretaker, a homemaker,
And to be the spirit she has inside,
The little one that was lost so long ago.

I am not like I was before,
And I thought nothing would change me,
But I wasn't listening to myself,
I wasn't hearing, feeling, or thinking any more,
I was just so empty, so numb and cold.

I was the artic wind on a frigid night,
I was the chilled water of a cold spring,
I was frozen ice cube forgotten in the freezer,
But with a nod, a push, a knock, and a scream,
I find myself standing in the sun,
Feeling so different.

The chill is warming,
The ice is melting
And a smile forms across stiff cheeks,
My eyes grow wide
And giggles burst forth
Knowing that I feel so different
Since the light began to shine.

Took me so long
So long to reach this place
To feel the warmth of the sun
To feel the artic wind settling
To final reach the point, the place,
The place of self-acceptance,
And I feel so different now!

We all live within our own castle walls with our own demons to fight,
But all the riches in the world, if one could have them, would mean little
If one had no one to share them with!

A hermit

I�m tired, thirsty, and wild-eyed in my timeless misery
It knows no boundaries; no walls to keep it at bay
Reminding me always whose the master
As the days spin forward and my soul stays frozen
And all around me is the darkness like a hermit
Trapped in a silent war between the past and the present

No love shines within the darkness only reflections
Of what may be but never truly holding it close to home
Frightened of the days to come, frozen in the days already past
Unable to forget, unable to take back the feelings, the thoughts,
The words said that forever echo through my soul
Like a torrid wave washing over me, reminding me who�s the master

Should have given up long ago, should have stopped trying,
Stopped fighting but like a survivor onward I silently march
Hoping that someday, around some corner a light will shine
As the planets of the universe go there way, like the moon and sun
I dance the dance of life, a never-ending cycle, a pattern of misery and delight
Like a hermit here I am trapped within the darkness.

Twisted up in knots, ribbons wrapped around me, trapping me in the waves, allowing them to wash over me, reliving the nightmares over and over, seeing the forgotten visions, the dreams better left untold and unknown, knowing they are mine, mine to have, know, and live with till the day I die.

Peering into the mirror
My hair streak with white,
Fearing the ebbying flow of time,
Knowing each day I grow older,
Knowing the responsibilities placed upon me
And all that should be done,
But like a sinking weight of despair
I see not what has been done,
Only what still lays ahead
And I hear the voices,
Seeing all the colors,
Wishing I felt nothing.

The whirlwind spinning inside,
Hidden from view, trapped deep inside
To frighten to speak, to utter a sound
A mouse trapped in cage
Fearing the approaching cat,
Knowing the truth that will be
But fearing it just the same,
Knowing that I don't want to see,
Pretending all is fine, pretending all is okay,
Wishing I felt nothing.

I can't escape the chains placed upon me,
Can't travel back through the waves of time,
Can't recapture what was stolen, what was lost,
Can't recapture the lost fibers of youth
As the stamp of time shines upon me,
But deep inside I'm still the same,
The same frightened little girl
Searching for a friend, for love,
For understanding, comfort, and security.

An adult I am supposed to be,
Following the rules, playing the game,
Becoming just another twisted soul,
Feeling like a battered truck with its engine frozen
Unable to find the connection, to make the connection
Knowing only the frozen dreams, lost years as time flies bye,
Leaving me the same as before, no step closer today then yesterday,
Wondering if its just a dream never to be,
As I search for something, something to hold onto,
Wanting to be understood, to be comforted and loved.

All we can be

We have all seen those down and out,
Tumbling with shame in their eyes,
For we all know how it feels to sing the blues,
To stand on the outside looking in,
Wanting to be like everyone else,
To be normal, to be like everyone else,
But have you ever stopped for a moment,
For a brief second and ever truly thought
Of all that has been, of that you survived,
Of all that you have conquered?

Maybe you haven't,
Maybe you think its nothing,
Maybe you think its just existing,
But listen for a moment,
Think of it all, of all the wounds,
The sores inside, the bruises,
And take a single moment,
To take a deep breath,
And smile...knowing that all that was,
Hasn't stopped you.

You still exist,
You still breathe,
You still try to do the best you can,
And in the end that is all that matters
For all we can ask of ourselves is
To do our best, to live the best we can.

Maybe it isn't always easy,
The waves of sorrow wash over us,
And we fall into the darkest pit,
But in the end, who is stronger?

Let me simply say...to me it is simply,
Those who struggle to face each day,
Living with our demons, our shadows,
To build our lives, to reach our dreams,
To allow ourselves to exist,
To grow, to learn, and to be all we can be.