Hehehehe ...
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If two wrongs don't make a right, try a three.
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To do is to be (Socrates). To be is to do (Plato). Do be do be do (Sinatra).
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Don't drink water ... fish f**k in it. (Josh R.)
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You might regret what you do, but you'll regret what you don't do much, much, more.
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He who drinks gets drunk. He who gets drunk falls asleep. He who falls asleep does not sin. He who does not sin goes to heaven. Sooo let's all drink and go to heaven.
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Examine the contents, not the bottle.
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It takes years to build up trust and seconds to destroy it.
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Don't cough or sneeze in other people's face ... especially if you don't know them.
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Keep your room dirty so your mom will be afraid to come in and then she won't take your stuff.
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Never eat unsweetened chocolate.
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Never mess with a kid bigger than you are.
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If you give your enemy a second chance, he might turn out to be your best friend.
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When your mom's on a diet, don't eat chocolate in front of her.
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If you have something bad to tell your mom, tell her on the phone.
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Never try to baptize a cat with a hose.
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Virginity is like a balloon ... one prick and it's gone forever.
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Ears are the most active part of the body during masturbation, as they listen for footsteps. (Billy R.)
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If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving ain't for you.
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Sex education is good for your health ... especially if they give you homework. (Billy R.)
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If at first you don't succeed ... then you're fired.
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Men are like a pack of cards. You need a heart to love them, a diamond to marry them, a club to beat them and a spade to bury the bastards. ('K' RuLz)
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My love for you is like diarrhea ... I just can't hold it in.
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No one's as dumb as you look.
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Don't go away mad ... just go away ... ('K' RuLz)
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Smiling is the second best thing to do with your lips.
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Success is sweet, but the secret behind it is sweat.
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Life is never about giving in ... it's about carrying on. ('K' RuLz)
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If you can dream it, you can do it.
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Mary had a little lamb ... and the doctor fainted. ('K' RuLz)
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I am in Seventh Heaven. The other six don't want me.
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Jesus told Peter, "Come forth and I shall give you eternal life." Peter cam fifth and won a toaster.
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We HAVE TO go to school. HAVE TO is to FORCE. FORCING is SLAVERY. SLAVERY is FORBIDDEN. Therefore it's FORBIDDEN to go to school.
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An ideal man does not smoke, does not drink, does not flirt, does not go to bed late ... in short, does not exist.
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Be quiet in the classroom. Respect the fact that others sleep.
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Girls with skirts up can run faster that guys with pants down. ('K' RuLz)
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Love is the only force capable of turning an enemy into a friend.
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Have a belief in yourself that's bigger than anyone's disbelief.
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Don't run from your fears unless it's a wasp.
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If you want to make a difference, get off your butt and do it.
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Be sure your pet hamster isn't around when your dad's vacuuming.
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Sometimes it's nice to be important, but it's always important to be nice.
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Always pretend to understand what your French teacher is saying. (Michelle C.)
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If your mom tells you to eat your spinach coz it'll add color to your cheeks, tell her you don't want green cheeks.
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If you eat spinach, you'll grow big and strong like Popeye. You'll also have a skinny, wriggly girlfriend like Olive Oyle.
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Never play basketball by your parents' new car. (Josh R.)
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Never fall asleep during a school field trip unless you have a mint or toothpaste with you ...
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Never trust anyone who knows how to give a good wedgie. (Josh R.)
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Don't ever tell your teacher your dog ate your homework, especially if you don't have a dog.
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Never sleep with gum in your mouth.
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Never ask your dad to help you out with a math problem. It'll turn out to be a three-hour lesson.
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Check if there's toilet paper BEFORE you sit down.
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Laugh at your parents even if they don't make sense.
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Never leave your younger sibling alone with your stuff.
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When your mom is mad, hide all the stuff you don't want thrown away.
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Don't you just wish I was your homework? That way I'd be HARD and you'd be DOING ME on the floor. (Josh R.)
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Life needs to get a life. (Josh R.)
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One of the best ways to scare your friends is to show them a picture of your mom when she just woke up. (Pamela R.)
Quotes