Second Place - Romance


Chapter Twelve
Hiding in Plain Sight




That afternoon found Harry trying to get comfortable in his new chambers. He had no desire to be among his �friends' at the moment and had hoped to be able to use this time get to know Severus better. However, he and Severus had been polite but rather distant to one another after that first meal in the Great Hall. Harry told himself that he was being foolish, but he found himself wishing that Severus would look at him the way he had seen the man looking at Malfoy. There was a tenderness and familiarity present in the look that had been exchanged between the two and Harry was afraid that he would never be on the receiving end of such a look from his husband.


The two slept together again the second night, but each stayed on his side of the large bed. Strangely, Harry found that he had trouble sleeping despite the warm body next to him. He lay there awake, wishing he could snuggle up to Severus, but the man had remained rather aloof since lunchtime. Harry tried to not take it personally, but really, how could he not? He knew that his professor wouldn't have married him if things had been different. That night, Harry hugged his arms around his torso and wearily closed his eyes.


Severus lay on his side facing away from his young mate. He wanted nothing more than to hold Harry closely to him as they slept, but he didn't think that Harry would want that. After lunch Harry had been quiet and distant. Severus closed his eyes in pain as he imagined that despite his brave words, the young Gryffindor was now regretting the bonding. Sleep came slowly to the man who lay so near yet so far from the one he loved.


Harry awoke early the next morning after a rather restless night. Sometime during the night he had decided that enough was enough and that they were going to sit down and talk today, even if he had to first hex the older man.


With that thought in mind, Harry quietly slipped out of bed and grabbed some clean clothes so that he could take a shower. Then he would be calling Tizzy and ordering a breakfast that the two could eat and talk over. He had felt honored yesterday when Severus had shown him how to summon the compassionate house elf. Leaving the spacious bathroom, the young man quietly called Tizzy and asked her to bring a nice breakfast. The diminutive creature returned presently with crepes and fresh melons and berries along with the usual carafe of strong coffee. Harry had quickly realized that Severus appreciated a good cup of strong coffee. Transfiguring a flower out of an extra spoon, Harry smiled as he thanked Tizzy for her efforts. Beaming, the house elf bowed and popped out of the room. Harry carefully carried the fully laden tray into the bedroom. He set the tray down on the table between the chairs by the fireplace. Turning, he straightened his robes and crossed over to the bed where the potions master still slept.


"Sev, breakfast is ready. Why don't you get up and we can eat?" Harry gently asked as he stroked his mate's cheek.


Severus woke to the feeling of a feather-soft caress on his cheek. Opening an eye, he looked up to see his young husband standing over him with a small smile on his lips. Thinking back to the rather disconcerting day yesterday had been, he was surprised at Harry's demeanor. Harry stepped back to allow the older man room to sit up and Harry went over to pour them both a cup of coffee. Yesterday Harry had noticed that Severus had taken his coffee black, unsweetened, so he ignored the sugar and cream Tizzy had provided, presumably for him. As Harry also liked his coffee plain, he made a mental note to tell the house elf to not bother with the condiments in the future.


Stretching after a less than satisfactory night's sleep, Severus rose and grabbed his robe from the end of the bed and went over to sit in a chair next to Harry. The younger man handed over one of the steaming cups to his husband and Severus gratefully accepted the offering. Harry then loaded a plate with a warm crepe and added some fruit and then served that to his companion. Severus politely waited for Harry to serve himself before starting in on his own breakfast.


Silence stretched across the room as the two men ate and sipped their coffees. Setting his now empty plate on the tray, Severus spoke, "Harry, thank you for the service, but I have to wonder what this was all about."


Harry took another sip of his coffee and put his own plate down. Settling back in the armchair, he tucked a leg up underneath and prepared his answer. "I don't like how we ended yesterday, Sev, and I think the fault lies as much with me as with you. I let my insecurities get in the way after lunch." He paused briefly, before charging ahead. "I need to know something and I'd like you to be honest with me." Harry paused again and took a deep breath. He wanted the answer and yet at the same time he was afraid to hear it. "What is your relationship with Draco Malfoy?"


Whatever Severus had been expecting, this was not it. Frowning, he tried to understand why Harry was wanting to know that particular piece of information. Could his young husband be jealous? Shaking his head at the preposterousness of that idea, the potions master answered, "Draco is my godson. Indeed, he has often said that he considers me to be more of a father to him than Lucius ever was. Why do you ask, Harry?"


Harry grinned when he heard that Draco was Severus' godson. For the first time since before lunch he felt a weight lift from his chest. "I know it sounds stupid, but I saw you and Mal � Draco smiling at each other, and I thought that maybe there was something between you two. I thought that maybe you would have rather have married him."


Severus was stunned. It sounded for all the world like Harry had been jealous. Perhaps he had a chance with the young man after all. Severus shook his head, smiling slightly, "Sorry, Harry, but the idea of Draco and me, well, I would hope that I am not that depraved."


Scrunching up his nose, Harry had to agree that the idea was just, well, yucky. "Okay, so can we start again? And maybe do what we said we were going to do yesterday before we got sidetracked?"


Severus poured another cup of coffee for each of them and he put a long leg up on the nearby ottoman. "I will have to ask for your patience and forbearance, Harry. I am used to keeping my own counsel and have spent much of my life living behind masks. Albus Dumbledore has been the only one, other than Tizzy, who has ever truly known the real me." Sighing, Severus realized that this was going to be a difficult endeavor for him. But he recognized that if he and Harry were going to have a chance he had to take the chance and open up to his mate. They had already seen what happens when each had allowed his insecurities to overrun their sensibilities.


Both now comfortable, they began a question and answer session, each learning some surprising things about the other. For instance, Severus learned about Harry's less than loving upbringing with the Dursleys, beginning with the description of his �luxurious' accommodations in his cupboard under the stairs. The older man grew angrier at his mentor as he heard in detail the treatment Harry had had to endure at his muggle relatives' hands. Surely the venerable wizard was aware of Harry's living conditions? Severus realized he was going to have to have a talk with the headmaster later. As Harry talked more about his early life his mate was amazed that the young man had nonetheless managed to grow into such a caring and well-balanced person.


Harry started out hesitantly, as he had never willingly spoken of his life with the Dursleys before. However, as he talked, he found that he somehow felt comfortable telling Severus of the circumstances of his life and the pain and loneliness he had often felt growing up. For the first time, Harry felt as if he had found someone who could truly understand him. Odd, that, the young man thought to himself, that this was the very man who had spent years convinced that Harry was a spoiled brat who had had the world handed to him on a platter.


Then came the time for Severus to allow Harry to begin to see the man behind the mask. In a quiet voice he spoke of a lonely childhood with a cruel father and uncle who delighted in tormenting both him and his mother. The men were early supporters of the Dark Lord and Sebastian and Rasputin Snape had given over most of the Snape fortune to the monster, leaving the family to struggle financially. Severus' mother's family had money that Sebastian could not get his hands on and Severus often wondered if that money had led to her death, for the potions master was convinced that Sebastian had murdered his wife. Unfortunately for the senior Snape, his wife's will left everything in a trust fund for her son, so the tyrant was unable to touch the money. After her death, things became even direr for the young boy as his father and his uncle took out their displeasure and frustrations out on Severus.


Pausing, Severus tried to gather his thoughts and his courage. Only Albus and Poppy had ever known about the abuse he had suffered at home. Returning to Hogwarts, he had sometimes needed medical care and Poppy had always been discrete in caring for his injuries.


Briefly closing his eyes, Severus opened them again to see that Harry had moved over to sit on the ottoman in front of him. The young man seemed to understand that this was a difficult conversation for the taciturn man. Harry reached out and grasped his husband's hand. Gently caressing the long fingers, he smiled encouragingly. Severus weakly smiled his thanks to the empathetic young man.


Pulling his thoughts back in, Severus continued, detailing some of the memories he had recently been forced to relieve courtesy of the dementors of Azkaban. His voice, soft but steady, the potions master told of the first time his father and uncle had �played' with him. The hand that had clasped his own tightened as he spoke of the rape and Severus looked up to see tears in the younger man's eyes. His voice breaking now, he recounted more abuse, culminating with the two brothers forcing him to be Marked and then raped by the Dark Lord.


Harry closed his eyes as he struggled to rein in his emotions. He was aware that his magic was threatening to break loose as he listened to his mate's tale of childhood abuse. After a few moments of controlling his breathing, Harry again opened his eyes and looked deeply into the obsidian eyes opposite his. "Sev, where are your father and uncle now?"


"Dead, Harry. Both of them. Shortly after I was inducted into the ranks of the Death Eaters they displeased the Dark Lord and at a meeting they were tortured and killed." The potions master's expression had darkened as he recalled that particular night. It still sometimes bothered him that he had taken a perverse sort of joy in watching their agony and then their murders. But in a very real way he had felt as if they had deserved everything that had been done to them. So it came as a real shock when he heard Harry's next words.


"Good," Harry growled. "That saves me the trouble of finding them and killing them myself." The golden Gryffindor would have gladly have gone and dug up the men and brought them back to life just so he could kill them again for hurting Severus as they had.


Both men sat quietly with Harry still stroking his husband's hand. Harry realized just how little he had truly known his professor. He shook his head as he began to understand that Severus had spent his entire life hiding in plain sight.

The Flipside of Sanity - Chapter 12

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