First Place - Angst

"So where are you sleeping?" Harry had been initially surprised that the twins were there, just as he suspected everyone would be, but he hadn't spoken to a single person so far that was unchanged by the battle.

Once everyone had assured themselves that Harry was really there, conscious, and fully lucid the conversation had turned to everyday matters. He was thankful that no one asked questions or discussed the battle in any other way. He still hadn't dissected his own thoughts on everything that had happened. His barriers were all a shambles and he fought to block some of the input he was getting from the crowded hall but couldn't keep it all out. Only Charlie's presence, his constant physical contact, kept him stable.

Fred grinned and George answered for both of them, "Well... we thought there would be extra beds in your room in the tower..."

"...but the castledoes know where you sleep..."

"...so we just took your beds."

All heads turned towards Ron, who was blushing furiously. Hermione continued to eat a salad nonchalantly.

"Something you want to tell us baby brother?" Charlie teased his younger, but now much taller brother. Harry could feel amusement rolling off him.

"Um... well...," Ron stammered and the red deepened.

The world was at it should be. Voldemort was dead, Ron was embarrassed, and Harry actually had a family. There was still something off though, but Harry ignored it. He would figure it out later.

He looked at the Head Girl seated next to him, thankful that she had arranged the seating that way. Whenever someone touched him he felt almost violently ill, with only the exception of Charlie. Though Hermione didn't know exactly why, she accepted it and wouldn't accidentally brush against him. The little smile she had as she ate was enough to confirm his, and everyone else's suspicions if they noticed it too.

"He caved?" Harry whispered.

Laughter erupted around them, probably due to a joke from the twins if the almost maroon skin tone extending to Ron's neck was any indicator.

Hermione nodded and Harry inspected her more closely. He didn't have to drop barriers to detect the details that were Hermione but he had to deal with much more ambient emotion and magic confusing him.

Harry couldn't help choking on his pumpkin juice. Charlie rubbed his back and looked at him, his question unsaid but still clear. That was another strange thing. Harry could almost swear he knew what Charlie was thinking sometimes. Not only was he constantly feeling the redhead's emotions, he could interpret them flawlessly.

"Don't drink any alcohol 'Mione," Harry said quietly. "Go to Poppy and get yourself checked out. The, erm, magic around your abdomen is different."

Her eyes widened perceptibly and when Ron noticed she just reached across the table and patted his hand, telling him it was nothing. By the end of the meal Harry was fighting to keep his eyes open and couldn't stifle the yawn that drew eyes to him again.

"Time to head back?" Charlie asked him.

Harry shook his head, "I want to wait to leave until the hall empties out. If I fall asleep here just... well... you know."

A hand rubbed the small of his back and Harry just sighed and leaned towards Charlie.

"I won't let anyone near," Charlie whispered in his ear.

Harry did fall asleep in the great hall and didn't wake again until a nightmare of his captivity ripped him from his sleep. He sat up in bed and shivered. Charlie opened his eyes, but Harry told him to go back to sleep. He knew that Charlie hadn't had nearly enough sleep since the battle. He summoned a quill and some parchment and scratched out a quick note so no one would panic.

There was a remarkable feeling of calm and rightness about transforming into his animagus form. He didn't feel tired anymore, though he had been permanently tired since he woke the day before, and he could almost literally feel himself healing.

Harry flew out the window and circled the castle. The wind through his feathers felt wonderful. It was almost like that was his natural form, not the human shape he had been born in. Harry sighted his tower, where he went to sit and think when he needed to. Just then he had an awful lot to think about.

Even from a distance, though, he could tell there was someone else there. The part of his brain that was still human was angry that his spot had been discovered and was no longer his alone. Malfoy, Remus, and Dumbledore had all seen him up there but they respected that it was his spot.

Closer, Harry saw the red hair and then the lanky form of his best friend.

He sang a few notes in greeting before descending and transforming.

"Harry!" Ron startled. "What are you... shouldn't you..."

"I heal faster in that form," Harry shrugged and sat down, tired again as a human. "Why are you up here?"

"Harry...," Ron shuffled his feet and looked away, "I don't want to be an Auror anymore."

"Why not?" Harry was intrigued. Ron had wanted to be an Auror more than Harry did in their forth and fifth years.

Ron sat down next to Harry, but kept a noticeable space between them, "The battle... it was terrible. I mean... we were using simple enough spells... just like we practiced." The DA had acknowledged that not all students were powerful enough to really fight, so they had worked on adapting what they knew for battle situations. "The spells the Death Eaters were using though... they were horrible. For a minute... I thought... I thought Hermione was dead."

Harry's head snapped up. He remembered seeing all the fallen students and noticing that they were alive when most of them shouldn't be.

"I had forgotten about the pills... see... and I almost freaked out right there..." Harry looked at Ron in confusion, What pills? "You didn't know! I forgot! Fred and George made these pill things... you bite down and they transform you for a few seconds into an inanimate something that absorbs curses I think, and then back, and there's some Draught of Living Death in them."

Harry just looked at Ron with his jaw dropped wide. Fred and George had figured out a way to beat the killing curse. That was how many so many students lived. The twins would never stop surprising him.

"But Katie...," Harry remembered.

Ron shook his head, "No one knows why she didn't use hers. They weren't tested, so we didn't know if they would work. We think she didn't risk it... in case the curse hit Oliver through her or something. Not everyone had one too. They didn't have enough for the adults."

Harry sighed. He knew he should be glad that so few had died, but any loss of life was terrible. It had taken Charlie over an hour to calm Harry when he realized that of the nine Death Eaters that died Harry had killed five of them and three had been killed because of him. Harry couldn't even remember four of the deaths and doubted he would ever know just how he killed those wizards.

"What will you do?" Harry asked his best friend, still not knowing the answer to that question for himself. He suspected he wouldn't be doing much of anything for a while.

Ron started grinning, "I thought I'd try out for a few teams. I sent an owl to Oliver and he said he could help me arrange things."

Harry brightened considerably, "That's brilliant! You'll be great Ron. I know it. Just don't play for the Cannon's mate, you look terrible in orange."

Ron's grin stretched from ear to ear at that.

N.E.W.T.s were much easier than Harry expected, with one minor exception. He did as well as he expected he guessed on Potions. His score wouldn't be wonderful but he passed. The trouble came during his Charms practical... and then Transfiguration... and Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"Animate this statue," the proctor instructed Harry.

Harry flicked his fake wand... and nothing happened. He screwed up his face and the proctor's dull look was replaced with surprise.

"Hang on a moment," Harry tried to block out everything around him and concentrated on his own magic. He hadn't really examined himself since the battle and was shocked to discover that there were spots where his magic was sluggish, or where its path had changed. "I think I might have damaged something."

The proctor lifted his eyebrows and blinked at Harry. Harry concentrated on his magic and tried the spell again. He saw the problem. Something had... burned out... he guessed when he was destroying Voldemort.

"I won't be able to," Harry bit his lower lip. "I think I may have lost a whole bunch of spells. Let me try a different way."

The proctor was intrigued, and clearly put Harry through more spells than were on the exam. He managed to get nearly everything to work with circumlocution, not necessarily using the spell, but maybe a combination of other spells or just raw forced magic. For some reason all cleaning charms were impossible.

He almost collapsed when he left the hall and apparated straight to his bed, where he did collapse.

"Harry," Charlie's voice whispered in his ear.

He woke slowly, luxuriating in the fell of the familiar body, magic, and feelings next to him. Harry hummed and turned over. Slightly chapped lips found his and he submitted to the warmth emanating from the other wizard.

Harry spent at least a few hours a day in his phoenix form, even though he knew it worried his father, Remus, and Charlie. He doubted he would be able to stay awake through the day otherwise.

Harry banished his clothing and Charlie's to the wardrobe and felt only the slightest tension when their skin touched along the length of their bodies.

"Are you sure?" Charlie was apprehensive and concerned.

They hadn't done much of anything in the past week or so that Harry had been awake. Harry still wasn't sure if he could... after what had happened.

"No... but...," Harry swallowed and looked down. He felt tears spring to his eyes.

"If you don't try, you won't know," Charlie finished for him, reading him as clearly as Harry could read Charlie lately.

"And I want to," Harry looked up again and saw that Charlie's eyes were moist.

Harry caught the only tear that fell from the sapphire blue eyes on his tongue. They moved slowly and deliberately, testing Harry's tolerance. When Harry tensed and his stomach knotted as Charlie's hands got too close Charlie immediately moved his hands to a known safe spot and waited for the tension to ease.

He tucked his head against Charlie's chest and squeezed his eyes tightly. It wouldn't matter if he cried or stopped the tears, as Charlie could feel the emotions anyway. Harry wouldn't be hiding anything.

He was frustrated and sad and ashamed, all arousal gone in that instant. After everything he had done, all he accomplished, Voldemort and his Death Eaters were still managing to disrupt Harry's life.

"It'll take time Harry," Charlie soothed him. "I can wait as long as it takes. There are many other reasons I'm with you."

Harry just nodded, not moving from his curled up position, and fell asleep there.

The end of the school year was anticlimactic. Dumbledore's speech talked about a new chance, a new world opening up for them all. In the spirit of change and fresh beginnings, Albus Dumbledore announced he was resigning as Headmaster of Hogwarts.

Harry had been told ahead of time, along with his father, Charlie, the Hogwarts staff, and the rest of the Order. The Order would remain active, with Dumbledore as its head, and he would continue to live at Hogwarts. The castle had already created a second office that was almost exactly like Dumbledore's, but with a griffin as its guardian. McGonagall's Headmistress office was well suited for her.

Harry and Charlie moved into Potter Manor immediately after leaving Hogwarts, the Fidelius charm transferred to Snape. They were soon joined by Ron and Hermione, who were not getting married quite yet to everyone's surprise. Hermione insisted she would not marry just because she was having a child. Charlie told Harry that it took several days for Molly Weasley to calm down after hearing that.

When they arrived at the Manor Harry had intended on taking Charlie straight up to the portrait room to meet his parents and grandparents, whose portraits had been moved back by Remus. There was a strange owl waiting there for him though.

Harry removed the parchment and the owl flew off after ruffling its feathers and hooting arrogantly. He unrolled the parchment to find there were three letters.

Mr. Potter,

Your presence is requested by the department of Magic Reconstruction at your earliest convenience in regards to the matters of 26 May on the grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please present yourself at the office as soon as you may.

Dominick Croaker
DEPARTMENT OF MAGIC RECONSTRUCTION
MINISTRY OF MAGIC

Harry passed the letter to Charlie, trying to figure out what memory it was sparking in his mind was, but pushed it aside and turned his attention to the next letter.

Mr. Potter,

A ceremony will be held in your honor on Friday next at seven p.m. in Diagon Alley. We request that you present yourself at least thirty minutes early to meet with Ministry officials in the office of the head goblin.

Cornelius Fudge
MINISTER OF MAGIC
MINISTRY OF MAGIC

He held back the groan of annoyance and dread when Harry felt the astonishment from Charlie, and didn't need his exclamation to tell him that Charlie recognized clearly what only gave Harry a nagging feeling of familiarity.

"Croaker is an Unspeakable Harry," Charlie set down the letter and Harry could feel a bit of worry. "That office has to be a front for Unspeakable work."

Harry raised his eyebrows and passed along the second letter, "I don't think I can be in too much trouble."

Charlie smiled and shook his head, "He's still trying."

"Still...," Harry sighed and hated what he was about to say, "better Fudge than someone unpredictable. At least we have influence over him."

The letter from Fudge was dropped into a rubbish bin, where it conveniently burst into flame. Harry would decide later if he was going to the ceremony, but he was not going to show up that early just so Fudge could try to get something from him.

The last letter was less formal and in familiar handwriting.

Yo Harry!

Don't worry about Nico. He's harmless. Say hi to Charlie for me.

Love ya guys,
Tonks

Harry grinned. The first time he had seen Tonks's handwriting he had teased her for writing in such a girly style. She had tried to deny it and hex him simultaneously, but just ended up changing her hair color twenty times in ten seconds out of frustration.

Charlie whistled and Hedwig flew in through an open window. She landed on the redhead's shoulder and Harry gave her a betrayed look.

"I thought you were my owl!" Harry protested.

Charlie grinned, "She visited quite a bit while you were unconscious."

Harry scratched out a quick reply to Fudge that he would attend the ceremony, not bothering to address the Minister properly, and rolled it up for Hedwig to deliver.

"You're back in business girl," Harry stroked her feathers fondly and she nipped his finger before taking the letter in her talons and flying off towards London. He turned to Charlie and opened his mouth to speak but was stopped by a light kiss.

He closed his eyes as arms snaked around his waist and held him close. It took Harry some time to realize that he was in his house, kissing his... um... whatever Charlie was, and he was officially a fully-trained adult wizard. He felt a little light-headed and overwhelmed when the kiss ended and it took a few minutes to register the smug smile on Charlie's face.

Harry knew exactly how to get rid of it though, "Ready to meet my parents?"

Finding the Key - Chapter 50

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