Hell, MI � It has been a couple of thousand years since we last heard from Him so Jesus decided to grant dougzone a personal interview. He spoke from the front porch of a rented house on the back street of Hell, Michigan.
dougzone: Why are you here in this small American town, Man?
Christ: I�d love to say it is for Christ�s sake but the real joke is that I told Dad that I was going straight to Hell and wasn�t going to pass Go nor collect $200.00! That one always cracks me up.�
dougzone: Well, it is Easter, (Christ interrupted with �No shit, Sherlock!�) and you mentioned jokes. Do you have a favourite from the Easter collection?�
Christ: First of all, let Me set the record straight. The one about Me seeing My house from atop the cross is the gods� truth! I had a brownstone over on Shylock Drive and I definitely saw it that day.
Other than that alleged joke, I am particularly fond of the one invented by Canadians that has Me cursing beavers and My other all-time fav is the one when I see My shadow upon exiting the cave.�
dougzone: It was rumoured, right here at dougzone, that you were planning a comeback this past January. What happened to that?
Christ: Oh, bloody hell! For My sake, I wish you would let that go. It just happened to be a continuation of bad relations between My roadies and Me. I would say the Beatles would have a better chance of reuniting than Me making a comeback, any time soon.�
dougzone: What is your favourite colour?
Christ: Christ, that is a dumb question. I�m the Son of God, Him damn it! Well, I�m kind of partial to blue, come to think of it. No one has ever asked Me that question.�
dougzone: Have you got a funny story about being in Heaven?
Christ: Actually the funniest thing happened just the other day. I had given St. Peter the day off because he hadn�t had a day away from the gates in ages. I noticed an old man walking by and peering in a few times. Eventually, I asked if I could help and he said, �Oh, I�m just a lowly carpenter and I don�t want to bother anyone.�
I insisted he tell Me what it was he was looking for.
He said, �I haven�t seen my son in years and wondered if he might be in there?�
Well, I got all excited and said, �Father?�
And he responded, �Pinocchio?�
