| Dirk's Random Thoughts. |
| I H I G H L Y D I S L I K E I T W H E N I P E E L A N O R A N G E A N D I G E T S P R A Y E D I N |
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| Dirk's Random Pick-up Lines. |
| Dirk's Random Quotes. |
| Dirk's Random Randoms. |
| Dirk's Religion of the Day |
| T H E E Y E ! ! |
| Yogurt is a bacteria. Strawberry-Banana bacteria is my favorite. |
| Being different in the same way is the same as being the same in the first place. |
| Girl to me: "Are you from this planet?" Girl to me: "Are you on crack?" Girl to me: "Are you intoxicated?" Girl to me: "Are you crazy?" Girl to me: "Are you a faggot?" |
| When I was younger, I would squeeze my nipple, and liquid would come out of it. |
| Does God have an ego? |
| Can I have your number? |
| You have arm hair. |
| Hey Babe, |
| I have arm hair too. |
| Are You A Dog? Because I Get The Urge To Pet You... May I? |
| If humans had longer lives, they'd just be able to spend more time trying to make their lives longer. |
| True difference will always be feared and never accepted. |
| Great Recipe |
| Mac n Cheese n Tuna Fish n Ketchup: Cook Mac N cheese, add tuna when noodles ready, add ketchup. Serve chilled. Ver Ver Ver-ee tast-ee |
| On my Leg. |
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| hOW'S that for Haiku? |
| The Dog Urinated. |
| I Saw a Dog.. |
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| I Was Walking. |