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On the desert planet of Gunsmoke a little Jackrabbit named Vash the Stampede hopped around. He was a happy bunny, for he had just bought a box of carrot flavored donuts. Vash decided to hop towards the town of March, but just before he reached it he tripped on one of the long tails of his scarlet red coat. Vash just happened to fall on some ground covering a gas pipe, which somehow started a spark and the whole town of March exploded!
Vash walked through the town devastated, but he was very happy to learn that the whole population had been out that day for their annual kite-flying tournament over the St. Patrick's Canyon. (Hey, it's March! What did you expect?) So the Rabbity Typhoon hopped on. --- Hopping down the Bunny Trail, hippity hoppity, or storming down it more likely, a hot-tempered, short, black-haired squirrel scowled as she followed the destruction and crumbs of carrot flavored donuts. She was Meryl Stryfe of the Bernardelli Wildlife Insurance Company. Following Meryl was a bigger, calico cat, Milly Thompson. She smiled merrily, giving no concern to the destruction they followed, but happily commented on what a beautiful day it was. Meryl stopped as she came upon the city of March. The place had been blown sky high!!! "Vash the Stampede was here!" The town-folk reported to her. "It'll take forever to rebuild!" Meryl pointed out how lucky they were despite the damage, because the plant was still running. Meryl called Milly over to her. "We have to find this blonde nuisance and put a stop to the peril he brings!" Milly nodded, her fluffy tail swayed back and fourth, "Yes! And I bet he's headed towards April!" "How do you know?" Meryl questioned her partner. "Because April comes after March! And the Bunny Trail leads to Easter!" Meryl fell over at Milly's explanation. "Well, that's a better lead than we usually have. Ok, Milly, we'll do things your way." --- Vash the Stampede has just hopped into the town of April. Not having caused any explosions this time, he searched for the nearest donut shop or the nearest bar, whichever came first. He found the bar first. Bouncing up to the counter the frisky jackrabbit ordered some sandwiches and a bottle of Wild Turkey. Before he could grab the bottle though a neighboring customer stuck out a paw to take it first. "HEY! That's MY Wild Turkey!" "I've seen your kind," a gruff voice replied, "you rabbits are all the same. None of you can hold your liquor." The bottle was tipped to pour the alcoholic liquid into a glass. "Still though! That's MY bottle! I paid for it!" Vash was not a happy bunny. The bottle was then turned to pour the liquor into Vash's glass, "Thanks for the drink." The stranger finally turned to face Vash. A timber wolf with piercing eyes, "I'm Nicholas D. Wolfwood, traveling priest at your service." "You're a priest?!" Vash's ears shot straight up, "What's that?" "That's my cross." Wolfwood said calmly, "It a carrier of mercy." Suddenly the doors to the bar flung open, revealing two figures silouetted against the sun, "Vash the Stampede, we know you're in here! Come out! We have to have a talk with you!" "Crap!!" Vash quickly dove under the overhang of the counter, not that that was a very good hiding place. Wolfwood looked down at the spikey haired rabbit, "You're Vash the Stampede???" SHHH!!!!" "AHA! That's where he is! Get him Milly!" The fluffy calico pounced on the flailing bunny. "NOO!! NOO! Let me gooooo!!!" The jackrabbit wailed more than a injured coyote. "What a baby!" Meryl walked over and grumbled, "This can't possibly be him!" "But Meryl, he fits the description the locals gave us!" "Indeed he does, but....he's such a wuss!" "Girls," the Wolf smiled at them and pulled out a cigarette, "If you're after the destructive Vash the Stampede, I sure hope that you have God on your side." "Of course!" Milly stood up, leaving Vash to regain his senses, "And who might you be, sir?" "I'm Nicho-" Wolfwood was stopped short as something shook the ground beneath their feet. Whatever it was didn't stop until it was right outside of the bar, "VASH THE STAMPEDE! TODAY IS YOUR DAY TO DIE!" "Man," Vash continued his whining, "I wish I had a $$1 for every time I heard that line..."
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