I'm writing this article to let every progressive liberal down easily. I know I will get a lot of guff from this angry crowd that is currently feeling its oats after the 2006 election, but trust me. I'm concerned for your welfare as well as the welfare of the world of the future. I am one of the good guys, a philosopher hung up on a cross of my own making. So, you can be angry with me, but I'm going to tell it to you straight anyway. It's my duty as a philosopher to tell it to you straight. And that I do all too well.
The Republicans are definitely going to win the White House in 2008.
Now, take it easy. Whew! That one almost got me in the head! Take it easy! Should I come back later? All right, then... Okay, settle down!
That's better. The reason I have come here with this news is to prepare everyone for reality, and that is The Reality. I won't bother to say it again for fear of what might happen here, and, if by being incapacitated by unconsciousness, I won't be able to finish with this article.
The Republicans are licking their chops right now. They are going to keep this war going, and they are going to win back the... I won't say it. But that's what is happening right now right before your sorry fawn eyes. The groundwork is being laid. They're timing the good news and the bad. They're preparing you by making the bad news seem good until the moment is right to drop it in your lap for the bad news it really is.
They have plenty of money. Much more than the Democrats can possibly muster, and that will spell victory in -08. That's how the political process works. It is called money, and you're all familiar with it, some of you from your divorce proceedings. That's right. That kind of money. No. Generally speaking, it's not beer-money. Any other questions? Okay. Let's proceed.
The reason the Republicans will have more money, and thus more votes, is because their vision of the future is going to entice more moneyed interests to invest their contribution-dollars with them. It is like a horse race, yes. Yes, they know in advance who the winner will be. They couldn't make a good living otherwise.
On the side of the Democrats, they have Universal Health Care, (UHC). I've already explained UHC is a sham and a scam in my article entitled A Perception of Poverty, Universal Healthcare and the Presidency. But, there are a lot of moneyed interests that want it put into law so they an reap the sure profits of government health care dollars running out of a big hole in the bottom of the Federal Coffers straight into their pockets. And, the Democrats figure, there will be lots of UHC bureaucratic jobs to dole out to the new crowd. You know, like HomeLand Security jobs. But, there won't be a new crowd.
Face it folks, people who don't have health insurance, don't generally put up any political ante when the buggers come a-begging for campaign contributions. The campaign contributions come from those who are going to catch the run-off out of the new holes drilled in the Federal Coffers, and that would be Mega-Health. You know, the same folks that when they cut the right leg off the wrong person, they want a law to limit their liability to less than ten grand, and at that, they then want you to keep your mouth shut about where went the leg missing.
The UHC pay-off campaign contribution dollars are going to pile up for the Democrats. They'll run a good campaign, "good" as in second place-good. But the money from Mega-Health will not match the money the Republicans are going to pull in and add to their war chest.
You see the Republican machinery is still in place, laying in wait. They threw to 2006 election. They threw it because they realized opportunity can't possibly knock at the same door indefinitely. So they sent the Prize Patrol packing for a couple of years so they could watch the Democratic Congress squirm. They are indeed squirmy too.
The Republican money comes from Big-Oil, and of course, they're preparing to skim a little of the Mega-Health money too, just because it'll be easy money. It's just chump change though. They'll get that medical malpractice liability limit passed into law. And they'll pay for a bunch of new computers for doctors and hospitals so they can cut off the right leg on the wrong person and keep good track of it with a bar coded tag around the toe of the leg that went missing, and the toe of the one that didn't too. That's just in case the patient dies. This one high tech improvement alone, it is said will save millions in health care dollars. And I believe it too.
The Republicans also probably still have laying around a few of those Iraq-bound pallets of cold hard cash we all read about. That cash will come in handy for a few dirty tricks to soften up the competition. So it is over. You can read about it in November -08, but for all intents and purposes, why worry?
Oh go ahead boo and jeer all you want. I am used to it. I told you all before, I am a philosopher. I'm not paid to lie to people. My stock and trade only goes up in the back end of things as it turns out. I'll be dead and gone before anyone notices anything I said that makes any sense to anyone. And then everyone will say, "Oh... I knew him! You just have to read everything he's ever written." They'll say that even though no one ever bothered to read anything I wrote unless it was written brief, humorous and for pleasing the pedestrian public that happens by Thomas Paine's Corner while they're screwing off at work or school. I get read by half the government workers in the country every week. And I'm a favorite with the kids skipping class. It's called education, Dummy.
Here's the real deal. It's the vision thing, stupid. It used to be called the economy, but that has become a liability of late, economists having gone down a notch below used car salesmen and logically resting now, right along side counterfeiters.
The vision thing of the Republicans is simply way more appealing to the moneyed interests and most of the people in the voting lines too. No. You don't need entrails to predict elections. I remember Hubert Humphrey, "Dump the Hump!" and "The Duke Makes Me Puke!" too. I also remember when Sally Struthers was interestingly cute too, for all those who are big Britney Spears fans. Oh, don't worry about it. You'll get it some day soon enough.
The vision thing among the Democratic candidates is so lame, it is almost as if the Republicans thought it up for them. They certainly could not have done a better job if they had.
The Democrats are going to be out there. They will be slinging the bull about how they're going to bring the war to a successful conclusion, but again no vision. They have no vision of a successful conclusion. They have no vision of bringing the war home either.
The Democrats know their base wants the war ended. You don't need entrails to know that. But the Democrats also know the people in the voting lines want a strong America that doesn't bow to defeat. And most Americans are so fat they can't see their feet anyway. So they can't really come out and say, "Elect me and the troops will come home within a week." And, even if the Democrats could win, they still wouldn't bring the troops home. The war economy is the only place any of them are making any money these days, other than weight-loss clinics.
Universal Health Care is a fraud intent upon pouring mega-billions of taxpayer dollars into the hands of all the destitute doctors and all the horribly impoverished hospitals that are so impoverished they have to dump their patients on the Skid Row of their communities because they can't afford to lose the profit those patients suck up every year. If that has enough sex appeal to win an election against the long odds of betting against the money, it is news to me.
Yes, I read the papers. Well, not really the papers, because I don't commute further than just past the den, but I do read too much of the mainstream media on line. No. I don't read Beetle Bailey. Yes, I know he's a soldier. They dumped Beetle Bailey on Skid Row? Yeh, so what makes you think UHC will change things? Look, when the government stops paying, the hospitals dump them on Skid Row. Yes, that's how it works. No, it's not philosophy, it's the secular humanists' idea of socialized medicine. They do the same thing in Canada, which is exactly why a lot of Canadians come over the border to get their entrails read here.
The Republicans on the other hand, they have sex appeal. I of course mean that in a political sense. The Republican vision is of a new American century. A whole goddamned century just for your one vote!
The Republicans are well on their way to taking over all Middle Eastern Oil, and they will do it too. It will give the world a new American century because oil is the life's blood of the world economy. Control the oil, and you know you're on Easy Street, which is where every American deep down wants to be, Easy Street.
Talk about sex appeal! Imagine the 2010 Corvettes, kids! And a Winnebago could take you up into the mountains, or, to the beach, the show, or, to the NASCAR races in fashion, right? Vote Republican and for Easy Street!
So, you see. That is the real deal. It isn't about oil at all. It's about Easy Street. How the Hell can anyone get out the vote to beat that?
Now, I know there are a lot of people upset about the carnage and world devastation being caused by what the Republicans, and the Democrats too really, what they are both up to. Just keep thinking, Easy Street! Winnebagos! 2010 Corvettes! NASCAR! while I tell you this next little bit, okay?
Take a look around your voting precinct. Do you see any bodies? I don't mean the homeless! Do you see any dead bodies with bullet holes in them? No! I don't mean all the murder victims, I mean do you see any war casualties? That is exactly my point. Damned proud to be an American, and of my Winnebago too.
Now, you saw what they did on 9-11 right? Okay, okay, so a lot more of you think someone blew them up intentionally, but that's not the point. No one thinks the Republicans did that. You can't really think the Republicans would blow up two-hundred acres of prime office space in New York City that wasn't needed after the 2000 Dot-Com stock market debacle, do you? "Naw," is right. Conspiracy theories aside, who ever blew up those Towers was out to take away your chance at a brand new 2010 Corvette!
And, if you can follow me here, there were a lot more buildings being blown up all around the world when the Democrats were in office under the Clintons. So, get with the program.
Blowing up buildings in this new American century is just one of the facts of life. And those USO shows, those few human sacrifices we saw broadcast, even the one where the head came right off, they're just entertainment for the soldiers and their families back home.
Human sacrifices will only slow down the blowing up of buildings.
So forget about all those Iraqis, and soon to be Iranians killing each other. People die every day all around the world. And if they die, so what? As long as they're not dying here, and the Republicans are looking to bring peace, justice, the rule of law and the American way to the rest of the world, they've got enough sex appeal to hire the movers today.
Trust me, this is a good thing, if Easy Street is something you think you can warm up to. It may be really ugly, and it may piss you off when the Democrats again put up a goat for a candidate in the 2008 election, but trust me.
Their goat won't get 49% of the vote in 2008.
The Republicans have this vision thing in the bag again. And the Republican goat will eke out a win just as planned.
I've already mentioned here several times I'm reading H.G. Wells "The Outline of History, The whole Story of Man." Just to show how right I am about all this, and to set your mind at ease, read what Wells has to say:
The history of the Roman Republic thus far is in many respects much more modern in flavour, especially to the American or Western European reader, than anything that has preceded it. For the first time we have something like a self-governing "nation," something larger than a mere city state, seeking to control its own destinies. For the first time we have a wide countryside under one conception of law. We get in the Senate and the popular assembly a conflict of groups and personalities, an argumentative process of control, far more stable and enduring than any autocracy can be, and far more flexible and adaptable than any priesthood. For the first time also we encounter social conflicts comparable to our own, Money has superseded barter, and financial capital has become fluid and free; not perhaps as fluid and free as it is to-day, but much more so than it had ever been before. The Punic Wars were wars of peoples, such as were no other wars we have yet recorded. Indubitably the broad lines of our present world, the main ideas, the chief oppositions, were appearing in those days.
God Bless America.
I keep reading about a lot of people griping, complaining and bad-mouthing everything under the sun. Everyone has their own banner they stand under. But really, you are all pretty damned lucky to be alive. But trust me, again. You are not going to vote yourself out of this mess you've all made of this world.
The vote is what got you into this trouble in the first place.
Don Robertson, The American Philosopher
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