A note to the readers: One day Eustacia and I were really bored at her house. I liked her keyboard (it was nice and snappy), so I started to write random stuff on a Word document. Later, Eustacia joined in and this is what we came up with. Also, only one person knows this (that would be me), but I got the Eat Our Crap idea from a failed attempt at a book. No, I will not put the original book on this website. For one, it was lost in our last hardrive crash, and two, it was somehow meant to be a serious story (No joke there). Hey, I'm not the only one who knows now! My terrible secret! *kills self*

(Some of the contents of this book may not be suitable for children and anyone over the age of 50.)
One there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The End

Once there was a bat. He flew into the fire and it when foooooooo. The End

Once there was a person. She was mad so she went next door to an old spooky house. She was mad because she was fired from her job at Eat Our Crap. She went into the house, but as she opened the door, it squeaked. So, she got out her W D 40 that she used to spray on the French fries. When the door didn't squeak anymore she went in, but when she stepped in, the floorboard squeaked. So, she tore up the floorboard and put a new board in. Then, she got out her staple gun that she used to staple the hamburgers together. As she got deeper into the house, there was more things to be fixed! And by the time she was done, the whole house was restored. The ghost that lived in it was angry so she died.

Eat our Crap Menu

French Fries
French Fries dipped in our secret formula.

Hamburgers
Hamburgers stuck together in a secret way.

Coffee
Coffee without any of the things you'd find in coffee but a secret recipe instead.

Water
With special minerals.

Soft drinks
Also with special minerals.

Everyone eats here at least once because of its stupid name!

Interview with a guest -

Waiter: Would you like some fries?
Guest: ...Ok (Eats fry)
Waiter: How do they taste?
Guest: They taste like crap. What is in it?
Waiter: French fries dipped in WD 40!
Guest: Are you trying to kill me?
Waiter: Here's a hamburger.
Guest: (Eats hamburger) This tastes like crap too!
Waiter: It has staples in it for your convenience.
Guest: Going to the dentist is convenience?
Waiter: How about some Coffee, water, or a soft drink?
Guest: What's in 'em?
Waiter: The coffee is oil, the water is anti-freeze, and the soft drinks have gasoline in them.
Guest: I'm never coming back here again.
Narrator: Everyone eats here at least once all because of our stupid name.

The End of the not so short story.

Weird Al Yankovic Tribute:

I'm an ugly girl. My face makes you hurl. I'm a releastion to Frankinstine's creation. Acne everywhere unwanted facial hair
Like a surgeon! HEY! Cuttin' for the very first time.
Please hand me... that IV. Here we go time to operate. And my patients die. Yeah my patients die before they can pay!

I can't remember how much I have drank; I drank a 12 pack (BUURRRRB!) with my Dad. Beer it's liquid bread it's good for you, Drink it until you spew EEWW!!

Chapter 4,597, 285,174,123,102,002

One day a chicken went mad, he sang like a drunk, he ran like a new potato. He had a Brain ulcer and died of lip fungus three seconds later and EXPLODED! The End

When the Ghost died for the third time, he screamed. The End

Now for something completely different: OVERWEIGHT MAIL

[Random symbols.]

Now wasn't that fun.

The Man who went to china on Friday got their on Saturday stayed for two days and came back on Friday......................................... His Horse.

Top 10 worst movie Ideas of all time of the past 10 years.

1. Dumb gone and just plane Insane.
2. Horticulturists gone mad
3. Your on my Spine
4. Hi for the Ax
5. The Georgeo series
6. Dude where's my coke
7. Say you'll say "CD radio cassette recorder."
8. Your Pink Eye Liner
9. Horatio the Stupid
10. When you think of Chickens

Henry just got a great new job at the fanciest restaurant in town. He was nervous cuz he got fired from a job as a teacher in Dork Fu. His first day on the job he burnt the escargot. Second day on the job deep-fried the garnish or the Italian soda. Third day on the job he chopped off his hand baked it and gave it to the emperor of Greenland. He was fired on the fourht day.

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A note to the readers: Clarissa and I wrote this one sentence at a time (switching from one person to the other you know). It was on the night train from Montana to Oregon. Night trains can drive you insane like that. The title has no real significants to the story even though both M&Ms and Skittles are mentioned. The original story was in one big paragraph. I have edited it a little to put it into somewhat organized paragraphs. This is what we came up with.

Introduction: Want to write a story? or something Cha man

Story:

Once upon a time there was a Customer Safety Instructions booklet. It was a disguise though! It was actually a llama. The llama's name was Bob, and he was riding the secret vehical to a secret location in a secret disguise when he heard a "suspisous" conversation over his loud music.

"This m&m's name is Mamasita!" said a really idiotic girl named Chinky.

"And this ones name is Moo and he jumped over the moooon," a really idiotic boy named... Uh said.

"Then did he die?" said another really idiotic girl named Wawee.

"No," Uh said. "He just landed in some juice and drowned."

"Shut up, you're stupid and you suck," said Wawee.

"Oh no!" Bob thought to himself. "They must have killed someone named Mamasita by throwing her as high as the moooon with her friend Moo and then they both drowned! Now they are denying it because they know I'm onto them!" The Customer Safety Instructions booklet knew he had to take drastic action, so he said his infamous catch phrase, "Super Llama Power!!" and he morphed into his true form. He then used his super spitting power to drive all the other people away and then cornered the three participants.

"Fuhgeddaboudit, you ain't takin' mah m&m's," said Uh.

"Your m&m disguises won't fool me!" Bob said.

"Shut up, you're stupid and you suck," said Wawee.

"Don't deny it! I know all your secrets! I'm onto you!" Bob said.

"Uh," said Uh.

"You killed Mamasita and Moo!" Bob said. Chinky threw an m&m at the llama's eye. Immediatly on impact the llama's eye exploded which caused his brain to explode which caused his other eye to explode which caused his head to explode which caused his body to explode and his other limbs twiched on the floor.

"Chunkeh," said Chunkeh. The three people left the train car in disgust. Mamasita the m&m clopped after them.

"Damn," Bob's ghost said. "I should have suspected they would turn their (something) into m&m's first." He watched the group walk into the nearest McDonalds Playland. Bob followed them inside where he found them threatening an employee so they could play in the playland.

"I can take off my socks at Playland if I feel like it! Now give my McChicken and leave my alone!" he heard Uh say.

"I can eat my hamburger on the slide if I want!" Chunkeh said. "Your place is full of grease anyway!"

"I feel so shafted!" said the employee, and she ran away crying. Uh immideatly removed his socks, after she left, making a wonderful smell waft around the play place while Chunkeh went to the slide and squeezed all the grease out on to it.

Wawee ran around screaming "I love Playland!"

"I like to shaft," Chunkeh said as she stuck a pickle to the top of the pipe. Mamasita got lost in the ballpit. Then, all of the sudden, a greasy little kid jumped into the ballpit, cowicidentally right where Mamasita was, crushing Mamasita into a chocolately pulp.

"Mmm, chunkeh!" said the greasy kid after stuffing the chocolatey pulp into his mouth (he thought it was poo). Mamasita, who had a knak for killing people on that day, was secretly poisoned and as soon as her chocolate pulp hit his lower intestine he died and exploded in the ball pit. It was a t that moment that Wawee belly-floppd into the gball (and gut) pit. Wawee was then gifted with the greasy kid's greasy skull and she always carried it in her back pack from then on. On a sadder note, the shafted employee had just told her manager about the unsupervised children who were in the process of destroying the play place.

"What!? the manager said. "Kids like that should be locked up forever! And employee's like you should be shot!"

"I feel so shafted AGAIN!" said the employee as she ran away crying, but the manager had bigger fish to fry then that worthless waitress. The manager stomped down to the play place destorying the other half of his restraunt in an angry rage.

"Hey, I was about to use that!" said Chinkeh.

"It's your own fault!" the manager said as he pulled a machety out of his pocket. "Time for you to die!"

"Hey that's MY machette!" said Uh as he snatched it out of his hands, accidentally chopping his head off. The manager stumbled around blindly for a bit and then fell to the floor in a wiggling heap and, of course, soon after exploded.

(In the margin: Yo, dawg I'm goin' to brush mah teeth, yo.)

That set off a mass explosion, causing McDonald to create an explosion about the size of an atomic bomb. This caused everyone in the building to explode except for Bob the ghost who viewed the entire scene. He grinned in amusment at the spattering blood and the flying cows, for he was the first one in history to view an atomic blast from the source.

(In the margin: my pen is an ass)

He was sad though because he could not pass this on to anyone and he was a llama. And a dead purple llama at that. He desided to use his super natural power to make graffiti saying that he was the first person ever to see an atomic bomb from the source but he doubted anyone would believe him.

(In the margin: Yes, your pen is an ass.)

After admiring his lovely piece of artwork, he remembered that no one was still alive to see it. Upon remembering this he decided that life on earth wasn't worth it anymore and moved onto the other side feeling that his quest for vengence of Mamasita was over. There he met Sooey, the Skittle, and as we all know Skittles are the arch enemies of m&ms. They both taste so good! That is exactly why Bob immediately ate him.

(In the margin: I'm going to "sleeep," yo.)

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Narrator: Mor-Dean is an Arab living in a small town in India called Guptavill. His mother made some cakes and asked Mor-Dean to take them to his ill grandma in the nearby village. Mor-Dean is now wondering through the forest next to the village when a camel meets him.
Camel: Where are you going?
Mor-dean: I�m delivering these cakes to my grandma.
Camel: Does she live far from here?
Mor-Dean: No, she lives in the first house on the left in the next village.
Camel: Okay, thanks.
Narrator: The camel went to Mor-dean�s grandma�s house and ate her and got in her bed. Mor-Dean was just getting to the door when the Camel told him to come in.
Mor-Dean: I brought you cakes grandma.
Camel: Thank you.
Mor-Dean: Are you feeling any better.
Camel: Yes, a little. Come here, child.
Mor-Dean: What big spit glands you have.
Camel: All the better to salivate with. I am getting old, child.
Mor-Dean: What big eyes you have.
Camel: All the better to stare at Allah with. I am getting old, child.
Mor-Dean: Wow, what big humps you have.
Camel: All the better to kill you with, my child.
Narrator: Then, the camel stomped on the child and ate him. A nearby logger named Gupta heard the racket and came to investigate. He walked in and said:
Gupta: Where is Mor-Dean and his grandma!?
Narrator: He looked at the camel confused as to why it was there. The camel tried to run for it, but Gupta caught up to him quickly in his car bomb.
Gupta: PRAISE ALLAH!
Narrator: Gupta yelled as he set off the bomb and killed the camel with the explosion. Then, Gupta, Mar-Dean, and Grandma lived happy ever after.

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A note to the reader: Clarissa and I wrote this a long time ago. So long ago that neither of us can remember when we wrote it.

• Play with the door locks
• Make farting noises
• Make boom boxes on Team Fortress
• Write stupid plays (& edit)
• Perform the stupid plays we have written
• Make stupid websites
• Make beeping noises
• Eat strange foods such as tomato soup & noodles, red pepper ramen, egg tacos, and bacos, potato chip or barbeque sauce sandwiches
• Also eat anything with seschwan sauce or ranch dressing
• Create nicknames for all our pets... again.
• Listen to Nick scream and rave about fishing, paintball, BMX, and money (and sing opera).
• Fight about who gets the computer next
• Make weird noises and speak in unknown languages
• Watch Gizmo eat her bone
• Sit for an hour or so... doing absolutly nothing

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A note to the reader: This is an actual report my friend, James Uhde, wrote for a US History report in the year 2006. Believe it or not, he actually turned it in as a rough draft. He got a 59% on it and never wrote a real paper. No, he didn't turn this in as a final copy. His four page double spaced paper, including thesis statement and conclusion, appears here as it was written, and I refuse to take the time to break it into paragraphs.

Who do most Americans think of when asked to name one of our founding fathers? Benjamin Franklin. Few people have had as much affect on the development of our country than him. He was an avid abolitionist, inventor, revolutionary, and ambassador to many other countries.

In September 1767, Franklin visited Paris with his usual traveling partner, Sir John Pringle. News of his electrical discoveries was widespread in France. His reputation meant that he was introduced to many influential scientists and politicians, and also to King Louis XV. While living in London in 1768, he developed a phonetic alphabet in A Scheme for a new Alphabet and a Reformed Mode of Spelling. This reformed alphabet discarded six letters Franklin regarded as redundant, and substituted six new letters for sounds he felt lacked letters of their own; however, his new alphabet never caught on and he eventually lost interest. Isn�t that humorous? Doesn�t it have an amazing huge affect on the history of reality? Or does it not? I�m going to go with not. It�s just filler. As is this little tirade. Filler. Cause I needs me eight pages. In 1879 he threw up a chunk of uranium and built the first atomic reactor. It was amazing, and if I recall correctly, all of the earth was destroyed. Shortly thereafter, in 1876, due to a time warp, he stopped himself, and then started some fires, and then created the first fire department. He was also terribly emo. He cut on hisself all the time, cause he had level four gender dysphoria as categorized by the COGIATT test. Suck. Oh well, he said to himself, I�ll invent golf, and go golfing. Cause he�s like that. And them he invented electricity. Yep. He also discovered it, shortly after making it. Prior to this time, lighting was actually caused by aliens. It wasn�t electricity, it was carefully controlled plasma. For no reason. In 1492, Benjamin Franklin, who, by that time, had mastered the art of time travel, wrote the script for Star Wars. But, seeing that it would not be well received by the people of his time, he had dramatic plastic surgery done, and changed his name to George Lucas. He then froze himself so that he wouldn�t have to wait for the Nintendo Wii, which he also invented, but lost after activating its hidden inter-dimensional travel feature (activated by drawing an �r� in midair with the �wiimote�). After averting the apocalypse by use of his laser eyes, he thought he would have some time to rest, before he would have to battle the Midgard Zolom for Odin, who was feeling cowardly at the time, but he was punched in the face in all possible dimensions simultaneously by the space pope, who is, as we all know, reptilian. The purpose for this punch is much debated by the insane. Many believe it was because Franklin was a confessed atheist, others, because his staunch advocacy for the freedom of slaves, and some few believe it was because Franklin stole the eggs of the queen space pope (they are, of course a race of super beings) and ate them, thus gaining immortality and a double chin. After the war of 1812 failed to happen, Franklin, in a fit of jealous rage, set fire to the Berlin wall, thus reuniting East and West Germany, providing them with the tools necessary to take over the world (he also gave the Germans the FTL (Faster Than Light) drive, the atom cannon, the graviton cannon, ion cannon, cannon cannon (a cannon cannon fires cannons, which fire other things at their target as they speed toward it), technological superiority-in-a-box, cheese, chocolate, and of course, the unholy power of the Speedo.) After Germany conquered the world, they offered Franklin a seat of power in the new world order. He politely declined, and then burned every human in existence to the ground. He then took up his ax, summoned his infinite blue ox, and set out to have many adventures in Jupiter (he also created a suit capable of, not only allowing one to remain alive in the incredible pressure of Jupiter�s surface, but of enjoying it. It uses a combination of Ketamine and Ectasy to achieve this effect) after spontaneously regenerating humanity out of his left thigh, Franklin invented computers, the internet, and World of Warcraft, but not in this order. The editors of Cosmo magazine are yet to figure out how this is accomplished. Due to his prior success in the editing business, he shot Abraham Lincoln, and ate his hat, thus gaining his courage. Shortly thereafter, he rolled in the mud, bringing much consternation to his mother, who had recently cleaned his clothes. After he was cleaned, he wrote all poetry known to man, under a variety of assumed names, and scattered his work throughout time and space. Due to his fear of heights, prostitutes, and gangrene, he set down his plane (which he invented shortly after cloning and renaming himself) in Sweden, well known for it�s neutrality, and willingness to harbor Chuck Norris during a time of war. Shortly after creating the language of Lojban, he set forth to engage in war with the oppressive monarchy of England. Equipped only with a pair of snug mittens, an atom bomb, and a thousand floating corpses, he created the first and last known neural interface unit. This allowed him to communicate with the speed of thought with the computer he built of some grapes and a bloody thumb. After this was accomplished, he looked so horrifying that everyone who had ever even known someone who was British surrendered to him, and thus did he gain the resources necessary to build a robot in his own image, that was inefficient and ungainly, as one might assume. It has often been recorded that, on clear nights, and if the little boy or girl who�s watching has been good all year, one might see Franklin playing among the stars, with his beloved and well known dog Woofles the Great and Terrible. Those children normally set us up the bomb (I did indeed mean to write it like that. It�s an obscure internet reference.) You have no chance to survive make your time; all of your base are belong to us. There were no survivors after that one war that was started due to that one thing that we can never mention, lest we start another war. The staple cannon killed my dog�s cat. Benjamin Franklin thought so too. It�s not just my opinion, you can ask him. HE�S RIGHT BEHIND YOU! Spooky. In the winter we can build a snowman, and pretend the he is Parson Brown. He�ll say are you married? We�ll say no man, but you can do the job when you�re in town. You�ve got a new horizon it�s ephemeral style. A melancholy town where we never smile. Franklin, at that time much sought after for his incredible skill at juggling, built the television as retribution to man. I think we�ve learned our lesson. To quote Benjamin Franklin, life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when a colossal meteor or asteroid will destroy your planet, but statistically, it�s inevitable. I hate chocolate. Pinstripes will always be cool. Why? Because. Roda poi velcki cu so�eroi ke ganai saprai gi xagrai. Cause Lojban is awesome. Esperanto sucks in comparison, even though they have different purposes. Lojban is just way cooler. The intrinsic force necessary to split an atom can be found in my shoe. Top 3 ways to die. Number Three, spontaneous combustion. Number Two, devoured by a Von Neuman machine. Number One, accidentally cut through an atom while cutting a steak. This is important to my report cause I�m so cool. Fish! FISH FISH FISH!

In Conclusion, Benjamin Franklin was an extraordinary individual who affected America and the scientific world at large immensely. Didn�t see this coming did you? You were expecting something weird. Well, you�re wrong.

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A note to the reader: After watching an episode of Lupin the III, James started spouting this story at me. It is recomended you read it in an exaggerated, preppy, teenage girl voice.

On Saturday, I, like, went to the gym, and there was, like, this preiest there, and this guy came up and, like, shot him. And he's like, "Oh my God! I never lived!" So I, like, took him bungy jumping and, like, all his blood came out of his bullet wound. It was awesome. And, like, the friction of all the escaping blood ignited him on fire because he had no blood. And he was like "Oh shit!" And I was like, "Dude, you're, like, on fire. Do you want me to do something about that?" And he's like "No, I'm good." So we, like, went to this sandwich place, and he got ham and cheese on rye. And I'm like, "Oh my God! You like ham!?" And I beat him to death with a hammer. Overall, he was a pretty durable priest.

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A note to the reader: James and I were looking at random plot generators and such on the Internet to get us thinking on what type of script we wanted to write for our final movie project. We came across this one where �null� was written in every once in a while. I these places you would insert character names, objects, descriptions etc. We pasted the generic horror story into Microsoft word and replaced �null� with �kind hearted prostitute� (which had been an option for a character in another plot generator we had previously looked at). Though the story we ended up with didn�t end up being the script for our final project, it�s still pretty epic. Here is that story.

A kind hearted prostitute was having a happy normal day in kind hearted prostituteville. She had lunch with her best friends, kind hearted prostitute and kind hearted prostitute, and completed her work for kind hearted prostitute. It was all going wonderfully, until she discovered a kind hearted prostitute in her locker - she had a terrible fear of them, and wondered who could do such a cruel thing.

'I bet it was kind hearted prostitute,' said kind hearted prostitute. 'She's been jealous of you since she heard that you were going to the kind hearted prostitute with kind hearted prostitute.' kind hearted prostitute sighed.

'Did you read the kind hearted prostitute?' said kind hearted prostitute. 'There was an article about kind hearted prostitute, who shocked everyone when kind hearted prostitute.'

'Really?' said kind hearted prostitute. 'Can I read the article?'

kind hearted prostitute gave it to her.

The kind hearted prostitute has heard rumors that kind hearted prostitute is back after the shock of many years ago when kind hearted prostitute. This is not true. kind hearted prostitute is in kind hearted prostitute.

kind hearted prostitute scanned the article and was startled to discover that she and kind hearted prostitute were alike - kind hearted prostitute.

kind hearted prostitute walked home feeling very troubled. When she got home, there was a note on her doorstep. She opened in and screamed. It was full of kind hearted prostitute. There was also a letter.

To kind hearted prostitute. Watch your step. Ha ha ha. Signed, kind hearted prostitute.

Who could it be? Was it really kind hearted prostitute or someone closer to her? kind hearted prostitute suspected everyone - kind hearted prostitute of course, who always sneered at her. kind hearted prostitute, even though he was the dreamiest boy in kind hearted prostituteville. She even suspected kind hearted prostitute who had a great love for kind hearted prostitute and had been acting strangely recently. The only person she could trust was kind hearted prostitute who had been her friend since they were small children.

The night before the kind hearted prostitute, kind hearted prostitute went with kind hearted prostitute to the kind hearted prostitute, and they discovered it was empty. kind hearted prostitute was pleased to have kind hearted prostitute with her, because she was very nervous about kind hearted prostitute, as well as avoiding kind hearted prostitute, kind hearted prostitute, and kind hearted prostitute. 'Isn't it strange,' said kind hearted prostitute. 'How much we have in common?'

kind hearted prostitute remembered that kind hearted prostitute. She became uneasy. 'kind hearted prostitute, don't you have family in kind hearted prostituteville?'

kind hearted prostitute laughed manically. She threw some kind hearted prostitute at kind hearted prostitute, then attacked her with a kind hearted prostitute, and kind hearted prostitute was forced to fight back with a kind hearted prostitute. She ran away and was found by kind hearted prostitute and kind hearted prostitute, who had a perfectly rational explanation for her strange behavior.

'We came to save you from kind hearted prostitute,' said kind hearted prostitute.

The next day they discovered that kind hearted prostitute had died horribly. kind hearted prostitute was sad - kind hearted prostitute had been her friend for years, and becoming a crazed psycho in the space of a few days could happen to anyone. But she placed her trauma firmly behind her and went to the kind hearted prostitute with kind hearted prostitute, much to the dismay of kind hearted prostitute.

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A note to the reader: This is the script that ended up being our final project, and we actually didn�t write it in part or in whole with the help of script generators. This epic tale was original written in English (green text), translated into the artificial language Lojban (yellow text), and then translated out of Lojban (red text). By the way, our project for the semester was to learn Lojban. Interested? See this site Right now only the first scene is avaliable to read since turning the script into html takes a lot of time to do. More scenes to come.

The Cow
Cloud!
Cid
Yuffie
Tifa
Ghost of Aeris
Barret
Cait Sith
Vincent
Red XIII
Villager
SilentFuzzle
Rosie (cute as a button! :DDD)
Cow Man

Opening Scene � (in what was) Seventh Heaven ~ Post world saving party (i. ba lenu mi snura lo terdi kei mi salci) (Sub: After we secured the Earth, we celebrated.):
*everyone is obviously drunk except for Cloud (who is being thoroughly emo)*
Red XIII: Yay! We saved the world! (.ui lo terdi cu snura la sefiras) (Sub: I am happy! Something that is actually earth is secure from Sephiroth!)
Cloud: Aeris is dead! What does it matter that we saved the world? A girl I knew for a couple of weeks died painlessly! WHY GOD!? (ba�e .uinai. la eiris morsi i. mi pu jikca la eiris i. ba�e ri morsi i. ma ca cevni i. mi to�e go�i) (Sub: I am not happy! Aeris is dead. I previously interacted with Aeris. The person I JUST referred to is dead! Who is god!? I am not that thing we just referred to!)
*enters drinking a beer*Ghost of Aeris: I�m not dead! I�m right here! (i. mi to�e pu mrobi�o i. mi pritu do do) (Sub: I am the opposite of being previously dead. I am to the right of you when facing you.)
Cloud: I have no reason to live! I want to DIE! (i. mi to�e ponse nu mi to�e morsi kei i. mi djica nu mi ba�e morsi kei) (Sub: I don�t possess the event of my not being dead. I want the event of my death!)
GOA: Freaking emo. *floats away* (i. do dunku) (Sub: You are anguished.)
Barret: ^$*#(@ cheer up Cloud! We $%&^ saved the $*&% world! (i. dapma i. ko gleki i. mi rinka nu lo dapma terdi cu snura kei) (Sub: Look! Condemnation! Be happy. We caused the event of something that is actually the cursed earth being secure.)
Cloud: SHUT UP! You don�t understand my pain! (i. ko ba�e smaji i. do to�e jimpe nu mi cortu kei) (Sub: Be quiet! You don�t understand the event of my pain!)
Barret: )%*((&!! (in a consoling tone) (i. dapma) (Sub: Look. Someone is condemning someone to some fate.)
*shouting while standing up on a table/chair with a very large mug of beer in his hand*
Cid: Who�s ready for another round!!?! (i. ma bredi nu le xalka kei) (Sub: Who is ready for the event of alchohol!?)
All: YEAH! (i. go�i) (Sub: Prepared!)
*Red XIII (behind the bar) tries desperately to serve drinks with his paws*
*slurring* Yuffie: Guy�s... I think we should take Tifa home. She�s ever so slightly... inebriated. (i. ro do i. mi zanru nu la tifas klama kei i. la tifas xalfekfri) (Sub: All of you. I approve of the event of Tifa leaving. Tifa is drunk.)
Barret: (*&*& you Tifa! (i. mi dapma la tifas) (Sub: I condemn Tifa!)
Cid: Oh fine. *pulls the keys to the airship out of his pocket* Let�s go! (.ie.oi mi klama) (Sub: I agree with a sense of complaint. We travel!)
Cloud: Cid, you�re drunk. Give me the keys. (i. do xalfekfri i. ko dunda le ckiku mi) (Sub: You are drunk. Give the keys to me.)
Cid: It�s my ship, Cloud! *throws his abnormally large mug of beer at Cloud�s head, knocking him out* You can�t just take my ship like that! It�s my precious! Mine! *waits for an answer from Cloud for a moment* You got nothing to say to THAT do you, boy? Oh! SNAP! Away! (i. mi ponse le bloti goi ko�a i. do na lebna ko�a i. ko�a dirba mi i. ba�e mi i. do na casnu ko�a .a xu do casnu ko�a .uunai mi klama) (Sub: I possess the ship! You can�t take it! It is dear to me! Me! You don�t discuss it or do you discuss it?! I feel cruel! I go!)
Barret: I�ll get this &)*^)* and take him to the Highwind. (i. mi bevri le dapma la xai,uind) (Sub: I�ll take the curse to the Highwind.)
Cid: The Highwind is in the shop. I may or may not have crashed it into a cliff side. Regardless, I have a truck. (i. zo�e cikre la hai,uind i. la hai,uind janli .onai na janli le cmana ku�i mi ponse le karce) (Sub: Someone unimportant is fixing the Highwind. The Highwind either crashed or did not crash into the mountain, but I possess something I call a truck.)
Vincent: But we have to fly over a bunch of crap to get home! (i. ku�i mi ca sazri le karce nu le karce bevri mi fo le vikmi kei i. mi na vofli) (Sub: But now we operate the truck with the goal of the event of the truck carrying us over the excrement. We don�t fly!)
Cid: It�s a flying truck! (i. le karce cu vofli) (Sub: The truck flies using something not important.)
Vincent: Oh..... Where did you get it? (.uanai ma vecnu le karce do) (Sub: I don�t understand. Who sold the truck to you?)
Cid: Flying trucks-R-us. (i. mi ckaji nu le karce cu vofli kei) (Sub: We Are Characterized As The Event Of Trucks That Fly.)
Vincent: Huh. (.ua.ue) (Sub: I understand with a sense of surprise.)
Cid: Yep. AWAAAAAAAAY! *Stumbles drunkenly away* (i. go�i klama) (Sub: What you said. Look! Going!)
*Cid and the crew run out of the room and pile into the airship where they fly merrily into the sunset. Black out*

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