Improv

Improvisations

Through all the home made movies I've made with either friends or family we have made improvisations. This page will have the scripts that I typed up after we made the movie. Who knows? Maybe some day I'll come across that One Sentence Act story we wrote. In the meantime enjoy the post-scripts.

One Sentence Act
Typed up by Emily Palmieri

Actors
Eustacia Kathrens
Nick Palmieri
Clarissa Palmieri
Gizmo
Steve Palmieri (Dad)

Camera
Emily Palmieri
Eustacia Kathrens

Based on the story by Eustacia Kathrens, Nick Palmieri, Clarissa Palmieri, Emily Palmieri, and
Dolores Palmieri

A note to the readers:

This, much like Drugs of Metropolis and Nick of Metropolis, is mostly an improvisation. We did not follow this script. I typed this up after we made the show (more than a year or two to be partially exact). Yes, it is based on a crappy story that we made by passing around a pad of paper and writing random sentences on it. I would have put the original story on my website but I can�t find it at the moment. We made this a while ago even though it was the last show on my homemade movie tape.

Show:

(Emily is filming. In the kitchen Nick is holding a gun and pointing it at a Snoopy action figure. Eustacia is off camera holding a string attached to the Snoopy figure.)
NICK: I�m Bob! (Shoots the gun. Eustacia pulls the string.) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
	(The camera looks around all confused like until it finds the action figure on the floor. Nick shoots the gun several more times. Clarissa comes up and kicks the action figure across the floor. The camera zooms in and out on Eustacia�s legs.)
__________________________________________
	(Eustacia is filming Nick in the kitchen who has a sign taped to him that says �I am a LOSER (and I suck)� on it.)
EUSTACIA: This is Nick�s new modo. (Zooms up on the sign taped to Nick.) Isn�t it lovely? (Zooms up insanely close to Nick�s mouth. The camera is out of focus.)
NICK: Ha� (Points gun at camera.)
__________________________________________
	(Emily is recording Eustacia, Clarissa, and Nick who are running around the table.)
EUSTACIA, CLARISSA, NICK: (Say over and over again. Nick is shooting his gun.) I�m Bob!
NICK: (In between saying �I�m Bob.�) I�m Gizmo. (Runs up to the camera.) Oh God! (Shakes his arms up in the air.) I�M BOB!
__________________________________________
	(In the kitchen Eustacia closes the cupboard. Clarissa is talking about the next scene and Eustacia soon joins her. Nick is waving his arms around in the air and yelling. The camera is recording signs that say �Farie� on them [I think].)
__________________________________________
	(Eustacia and Clarissa are eating invisible food off of plates. They stop and start fake vomiting.)
CLARISSA: This is disgus[ting]!
__________________________________________
	(Eustacia and Clarissa come down the stairs with plastic swords in their hands. They have signs taped to them that say �Farie� [I think]. They look around all worried like.)
EUSTACIA: Something�s wrong!
	(Eustacia and Clarissa wave their swords around.)
NICK: Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! (Shoots the gun twice. A �bullet� for both Eustacia and Clarissa. Waves his arms around in the air. Then, runs over where Eustacia and Clarissa have fallen and runs in small circles.)
___________________________________________
	(In the kitchen Nick screams and Clarissa shushes him. The camera is recording the sliding glass door. Eustacia is outside the glass door and shuffles from one side of the door to the other. The camera moves over to Clarissa who is sitting in a chair at the bar with a plastic sword in her hand.)
CLARISSA: Eggs and cheese!
___________________________________________
	(In the upstairs part of the garadge Clarissa and Eustacia are running around Nick who is standing on a mattress waving a plastic sword in circles around his head. Clarissa and Eustacia are screaming �Yay!� over and over again and wearing the �Farie� signs again [I think]. Nick starts to hit them with the plastic sword after a while. Eventually Clarissa and Eustacia fall onto the other mattresses around Nick. Nick stabs Eustacia with the plastic sword and it bends horribly.)
EMILY: What�s your dragon sign Nick? [I don�t know if that�s what I really said either.] (Zooms up on Nick�s shirt until it is blurry.)
CLARISSA: Isn�t it time to stop recording?
____________________________________________
	(Back in the upstairs living room Clarissa is running in �slow motion� towards the camera. The camera looks over towards Eustacia and Nick who are waving a red blanket around. It is supposed to be a fire. They do this for a few more secords until Eustacia makes a �cut� sign across her neck.)
____________________________________________
	(Clarissa falls to her knees on the floor with her hands on her face.)
CLARISSA: It smells like burning suntan lotion! (Picks up the red blanket off the floor and starts rubbing it on her face.)
____________________________________________
	(Eustacia is waving her hands around trying not to be seen by the camera. Emily is saying �Hi!� a lot and Eustacia is saying �No!� and laughing.)
____________________________________________
	(Back at Clarissa�s scene she is now holding a plate and licking it.)
____________________________________________
	(Clarissa is now holding the plate and looking sad.)
CLARISSA: �nice brain! [I don�t know what she was saying before.]
____________________________________________
	(At the same place the camera is now recording Gizmo. The sound of a small generator to charge a battery in a radio can be heard in the background. Clarissa is petting Gizmo. The camera moves up to Eustacia who is the one making the battery charging noise. She is looking sad.)
EMILY: Hi! Hi!
	(Eustacia starts to fake cry.)
____________________________________________
	(The camera is recording something hanging on the wall.)
EMILY: That�s we[ird]�
____________________________________________
	(Nick closes the closet door in the living room.)
_____________________________________________
	(Nick is now leaning against the closet door. Eustacia is inside the closet.)
NICK: That�s crazy!
EUSTACIA: Stop it!
NICK: (Laughs like a retard.) You�re crazy! (Turns around and holds the doorknob. The door opens and Eustacia comes out.)
EMILY: Hi Eustacia!
	(Eustacia laughs/fake cries.)
______________________________________________
	(The camera is recording the closet door. The door opens and Eustacia, Nick, and Clarissa come out saying random gibberish. They go downstairs.)
______________________________________________
	(In the downstairs living room Nick, Clarissa, and Eustacia are throwing pillows in the air.)
NICK: �all the muggles or wizards at the insane asylum!
CLARISSA: (Looks at the camera.) The pants! They�re everywhere! (Runs away.)
	(Dad is in the background shuffling towards the scene like a zombie with a toothbrush in his mouth.)
EUSTACIA: You smell like burning CANDLES! (Points at Nick and Clarissa.)
_______________________________________________
	(Dad is now standing in front of Nick with his arms coming towards him like a zombie. He points at the TV and then starts to mumble something through toothpaste.)
_______________________________________________
	(In the downstairs living room dad can be seen in the background still acting like a zombie until he realizes he�s not the center of the scene. Clarissa is sitting on the couch in one of dad�s coats. The coat is stuffed with pillows to make her look fat. She has a bag of Doritos tipped towards her mouth.
EUSTACIA: �fat person after eating 57.127891 Cheetos!
(Clarissa chokes on some Doritos for a second then falls to the floor with the bag of Doritos still in her hand.)
EUSTACIA: Then, immediately she dies.
_______________________________________________
	(Eustacia is standing by the couch looking down at Clarissa who is still lying on the floor.)
EUSTACIA: You can get up now.
_______________________________________________
	(Clarissa is now leaning against the couch. The jacket is open and pillows are all over the floor around her.)
EUSTACIA: Her guts spewed everywhere!
_______________________________________________
	(Eustacia is standing on the other side of the couch. Clarissa is in the same spot but she has the jacket off. Nick is lying on the floor and is being recorded.)
EUSTACIA: It�s time to go home.
CLARISSA: Yay! Cookies!
EUSTACIA: Yay!
	(Clarissa and Eustacia run into the ping-pong table room. Eustacia starts to shut the doors behind them.)
________________________________________________
	(The camera looks down from the ping pong table room doors to Nick again. Nick waves at the camera.)
EMILY: Hi, Nick! Hi!
NICK: Waaaah�

THE END

Spandex Man Episode 2: The Best Sequel Ever
Typed up by Emily Palmieri

Cast

Actors
Spandex Man � Nick Palmieri
Grand Dragon � Kenneth Nelson
KKK Members � Emily Palmieri, Clarissa Palmieri, Kenneth Nelson
Camera Man � Kyle Nelson
Clarissa � Clarissa Palmieri

Camera
Kyle Nelson

A note to the readers:

You�re probably already familiar with the paragraph that would normally go here if you�ve read any of the most recent stories posted on this website. (In other words this is a complete improvisation.) To keep from boring you any longer I bring you the storyline of the original Spandex Man. Spandex Man originally faced Hitler who was terrorizing the town�s people. After a quick stop to the spandex store (Motto - We sell� spandex and potatoes!) Spandex Man has a fistfight with Hitler that unfortunately was lost in a horrible filming accident. Now go forth and read episode two.

Show:

(A screen fades in that says �The Adventures of Spandex Man� then �Episode 2: The Best Sequel Ever. Fade out.)
_________________________________________
	(In the kitchen Spandex Man is sitting on a kitchen chair behind the bar. He has a bottle of beer in his hand and is talking to the Camera.)
SPANDEX MAN: Hello and welcome to the Adventures of Spandex Man. Now previously we made me vs. Hitler and that was pretty fun but you know we didn�t finish it because Kyle deleted it. Thank you! And yeah. Well, this time we will continue but it�s not going to be that one. Today I�m going to be facing� from the� so. (Bleeped out to save the storyline.) Thanks for joining us! We�ll see you later! Oiyahalalaha! (A subtitle comes up that says �Farewell�)
__________________________________________
	(Eiffel 65 �The Edge� starts to play. Spandex Man is sitting in a chair behind the bar. He is wearing spandex and boxing gloves and has a wooden spoon in his hand. On the table in front of him is a tub of ice, wine, and pop. He is hitting the ice with the wooden spoon shoved in his glove.)
SPANDEX MAN: (Puts some ice in his mouth with the spoon then spits it back into the tub.) GAH! (Continues hitting the ice.)
GRAND DRAGON: What the hell are you doing�? (Bleeped out for language. Walks onto the scene. He is wearing a newspaper on his head that is shaped like a KKK hat. He is wearing a white sheet around him and has �White Power� and a couple of horribly drawn swastikas on his back.)
SPANDEX MAN: Watch your language!
GRAND DRAGON: Nigga! (Something)�nigger!
SPANDEX MAN: Look it�s him! It�s Samuel Jackson�s son! It�s Samuel Jackson! (Runs to the other side of the bar and starts punching Grand Dragon in the stomach.
GRAND DRAGON: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! (His hat falls off and he falls to the floor.)
____________________________________________
	(There is a close up of the Grand Dragon�s face as he lies on the floor. He has his hat back on and it is almost ripped in half.)
GRAND DRAGON: Just you wait for my army Spandex Man. I�m going to kill you!
______________________________________________
	(A screen fades in that says �Later that day�� then �=^.^=� Fade out.)
______________________________________________
	(Back in the kitchen Spandex Man is sitting behind the bar again. He is hitting the ice in the tub with the wooden spoon.)
SPANDEX MAN: Gaaaaaaah! (Hits the ice.)
______________________________________________
	(Three KKK members wearing the same paper hats that Grand Dragon had shuffle into the scene to the music. They are sycronized.)
SPANDEX MAN: Mmm S�!
______________________________________________
	(There is a close up of Spandex Man. The camera is now on the same side of the bar as Spandex Man and the KKK army.)
SPANDEX MAN: Mmmm spandex� (Slaps boxing gloves on the sides of his head.)
______________________________________________
	(The KKK members and Spandex Man are dancing to the music. Spandex Man turns towards the camera. As he turns back he punches into the air above the KKK member�s heads.)
SPANDEX MAN: (As he punches into the air.) White POWER!
	(�Kablamo!� comes up on the screen and goes away. The KKK member�s fall back.)
SPANDEX MAN: Oh Lord. Oh! Oh! (Hits the KKK member�s as they fall down.)
_______________________________________________
	(Eiffel 65 �The Edge� stops playing. The camera is getting a close up of Spandex Man.)
SPANDEX MAN: What the hell were they thinking!!!?
_______________________________________________
	(A screen comes in that says �Even later that day.� Fade out.)
_______________________________________________
	(Spandex Man is sitting at his normal place at the bar. The camera is now on his side of the bar. The three KKK members are sitting on the other side of the bar with their hats on. Spandex Man is still wearing his gloves with the tub of ice and drinks in front of him.)
SPANDEX MAN: (Sings) I like cereal. You like cereal. Cereal, cereal, cereal, cereal, cereAL. I like cereal. You like cereal. Cereal, cereal, cereal, cereal, cereAL. I like cereal. You like cereal. Cereal, cereal, cereal, cereal, cereAL.
KKK MEMBERS: (Join in after first verse. Wave their hands back and forth.) I like cereal. (The camera starts to record them.) You like cereal. Cereal, cereal, cereal, cereal, cereAL. . I like cereal. You like cereal. Cereal, cereal, cereal, cereal, cereAL. (Stop singing and start flailing their arms around.)
SPANDEX MAN: (Camera goes back to Spandex Man who is now hitting the top of a wine bottle with the wooden spoon. Some KKK members are hitting the table.) Yay, yay! Cereal! Yay, yay! Cereal! Yay, yay! Cereal! (Looks at camera.)
CAMERA MAN: CEREAL!!!
________________________________________________
	(All the people are still in the same place. Spandex Man has his hand in the tub of ice and drinks.)
CAMERA MAN: Go!
	(The KKK members stuff their hats into the tub of ice and drinks. Spandex Man starts screaming. After a few seconds he starts to eat the newspaper hats. He looks at the camera as he�s chewing on a piece of newspaper. He yells something through the newspaper. A subtitle comes up that says, �Thank you for your time.� Spandex Man yells through the newspaper one more time. Another subtitle comes up that says, �More next episode.�

Credits (As they appear in the show):

Episode Two: The Best Se[quel]
Cast
Spandex Man � Nick Palmieri
Grand Wizard � Kenneth Nelson
KKK Member #2 � Emily Palmieri
KKK Member #3 � Clarissa Palmieri
KKK Member #1 � Kenneth Nelson
Crew
Camera Man � Kyle Nelson
Costume Design � Clarissa and Emily Palm[ieri]
Creative Insight � Nick Palmieri
Script Author � Emily Palmieri
Main Supervisor � Clarissa Palmieri
Script Supervisor � Hitler
Editor � All Your Base
Editor Supervisor � Jesus
Prop Supervisor � Satan
Team Coordinator � God
Film Recorder � Camera
Insanity Check � 50 Cent

(As the credits are rolling Clarissa is sitting where Spandex Man would normally sit. She has the wooden spoon in her hand and is scooping up ice out of the tub and putting it in her mouth. The full �I Like Cereal Song� is also playing.)
CAMERA MAN: (Other crew/cast members are talking in the background.) Yum. (Clarissa spits out an ice cube.) Yum! (Clarissa scoops up some ice and puts it in her mouth.) Take out a marshmallow. (Clarissa dumps the ice back into the tub in confusion. Then, takes out the bottle of wine in the tub and holds it up for the camera to see.) Yum! Marshymallows. (Clarissa pretends to drink out of the bottle and Camera Man laughs. Clarissa puts the bottle back in the tub and continues to scoop up ice and put it in her mouth and dump it back in the tub.) Go! (Camera Man laughs. Clarissa scoops up some ice in the spoon and bites down on it. A few second later a piece of ice flies off the spoon and back into the tub.)

THE END

The Weirdest School House Ever

A note to the readers: It used to be much longer. :-(

Show

(In Nick's "old" room Kelly is facing the camera.)
KELLY: This has nothing to do with The Hell House series. This is the Weirdest School House... EVER...

The Adventures of Spandex Man
Typed up by Emily Palmieri

Cast

Actors
Hitler, Kenneth � Kenneth Nelson
Spandex Man, Nick � Nick Palmieri
Town�s Person #1, Store Keeper � Kelly Nelson
Town�s Person #2, Clarissa � Clarissa Palmieri
Town�s Person #3, Camera Person � Emily Palmieri
Announcer � Kyle Nelson

Camera
Kyle Nelson
Emily Palmieri

A note to the readers:

This is a complete improvisation. The first half of the video was directed and filmed by Kyle Nelson and the second half by me, Emily Palmieri. You will probably notice a complete quality and style change between halves. Since so much time had gone by since we finished filming the first half of the film, (two years) I decided that I wanted everything to be the exact opposite of what it had been. We weren�t going to use a tripod to film, talk through the scenes before we did them, or even wear costumes plus everyone was older. It turned out to be pretty interesting. I still say the sequel is better! Best sequel EVER! ^_^

Show:

(A screen fades in that says �The Adventures of Spandex Man.� It stays there more than twenty seconds, and then fades to Kenneth standing in front of the camera with a Hitler-stash and a swastika taped to his shirt. He is in the basement of the house.)
HITLER: I�m Hitler! (Makes Hitler�s power sign.) Who�s this? (Turns to the left.)
_____________________________________
	(Spandex Man is standing in a heroic pose facing the camera. He is wearing one boxing glove and is dressed entirely in spandex.)
SPANDEX MAN: (Heroic voice.) I�m Spandex Man.
_____________________________________
	(Town�s Person #1 and #2 stare blankly at the camera as they sit on the couch.)
TOWN�S PERSON #1 and #2: (Put their hands to the side of their face.) Spandex Man!? (Turn to each other and scream.)
_____________________________________
	(Hitler is facing the camera again. He is now wearing one boxing glove.)
HITLER: Spandex Man?
	(He turns to the left as Spandex Man enters the scene and punches him in the swastika.)
SPANDEX MAN: Wha!? (Gives a �You-wanna-go?� pose to Hitler.)
	(Hitler steps forward again and punches Spandex Man in the side of the face. Spandex Man punches Hitler back. The camera pans down to where Hitler is lying as Spandex Man kicks him in the butt two times.)
_____________________________________
	(�Chapter 32� fades onto the screen. Town�s Person #1 and #2 are sitting on the couch smiling.)
TOWN�S PERSON #1 AND #2: Yay!
	(The screen goes to black but �Chapter 32� is still on screen.)
_____________________________________
	(Spandex Man walks up to a table that is serving as a counter with his arms crossed. Store Keeper is sitting in a chair behind the counter messing around. She has a black helmet on her head. �Chapter 32� fades out. Spandex Man nudges the counter getting Store Keepers attention as a hair spray can totters unstably on the counter top. Store Keeper stands up and throws the magazine on her lap on the floor.)
STORE KEEPER: (High pitched voice.) Hello! Welcome to the Spandex Store! We sell� (Looks down at the counter and back up.) spandex� and potatoes! How may I assist you?
SPANDEX MAN: I�ll take that (Points to a spandex shirt on the table.), that (Points to another spandex shirt on the table.), and those (Points to a pair of boxing gloves on the bottom shelf.)
STORE KEEPER: (Picks up the gloves from the bottom shelf and places them on top of the two shirts. She types something into the laptop on her right. Looks back at Spandex Man. High pitched voice.) That�ll be $200 please!
______________________________________
	(A close of up Spandex Man�s �menacing� face.)
SPANDEX MAN: Don�t you know who the HELL I AM?
______________________________________
	(Back at the other camera angle, Store Keeper looks Spandex Man up and down.)
STORE KEEPER: (High pitched voice.) No.
SPANDEX MAN: I�m Spandex Man! (Grabs a boxing glove off the counter and hits Store Keeper on the head with it. Store Keeper falls to the floor and Spandex Man walks off with the two shirts and the boxing gloves.)
______________________________________
	(Another Spandex Man close up.)
SPANDEX MAN: NOBODY messes with Spandex Man!
______________________________________
	(Town�s Person #1, #2, and #3 are sitting on the couch. #2 and #3 have pillows over them. They are silent for three seconds.)
TOWN�S PERSON #1, #2, AND #3: We are the town�s people!
HITLER: (Enters the scene.) And I�m Hitler and I�m going to be beating them up. Okay? Ding! (Gives camera man a thumbs up.)
	(Hitler turns to Town�s Person #1, #2, #3 and starts landing fake punches on them. The town�s people scream and flail their arms. Town�s Person #3 briefly retaliates by hitting him with her pillow.)
______________________________________
	(There is a sound of a toilet flushing as Spandex Man breaks through a barrier of paper into the room. He is wearing a white shirt and spandex pants. He slowly gets up off the floor coughing and groaning. He finally gets on his feet.)
SPANDEX MAN: (Stands in a heroic pose and talks heroically.) Did somebody say spandex?
	(�Spandex Man� zooms onto the screen from the corner.)
ANNOUNCER: (Sings heroically.) Spandex Man!
	(�Spandex Man� fades out.)
_______________________________________
	(Back at the couches, Hitler is hitting Town�s Person #3 in the shoulder with accompanying grunts. The towns people and Hitler looks at each other. All of them say some form of the word �No.�)
_______________________________________
	(Spandex Man looks a little disappointed in his heroic pose.)
SPANDEX MAN: Oh� (Looks at the floor then back up.) Look Hitler! (Points at Hitler then walks off screen.)
	(A few seconds later he jumps back on screen dressed in a green, spandex shirt, spandex pants, and boxing gloves. He gives another heroic pose.)
ANNOUNCER: (Sings heroically.) Spandex Man!
	(Spandex Man runs off the scene in the other direction. The crew and cast members start laughing before the camera turns off.)
__________________________________________
	(Spandex Man and Hitler are facing each other in battle stances. Spandex Man hits Hitler in the side of the face three times with accompanying grunts. Hitler steps backwards with each punch. Hitler punches Spandex Man in the face. Spandex Man falls backwards onto the ground, and Hitler punches him in the face three more times. Spandex Man screams and Hitler starts falling backwards.)
__________________________________________
	(A black screen comes up with the words �To be Continued�� on it.)
__________________________________________
	(On the second story of the cousins� house, Spandex Man is lying on his stomach on the floor. He gives a whinny groan as he stands up. He is not wearing any spandex at all and his hair is crazy. �TWO YEARS LATER� pops up on screen and then disappears. Spandex Man stands up and acts like he�s at a KISS concert. The camera slowly zooms up on his face.)
__________________________________________
	(Hitler is sitting like a slob on a leather couch. He is missing his Hitler-stash, his swastika is different, and his hair is also crazy.)
HITLER: (Slowly sits up.) You think you�ve beaten my Spandex Man? (Blocks something that was thrown at him. Then, he rips off his swastika and screams as he goes to tackle Spandex Man.)
	(Spandex Man giggles as Hitler jumps on his back. Hitler throws him on the couch. They have a slap fight for a couple seconds. Spandex Man groans as Hitler randomly falls to the floor.)
___________________________________________
	(Town�s Person #2 is lying on a recliner as if she is dead. She suddenly becomes animated and sits up with a gasp.)
TOWN�S PERSON #2: YAY! Spandex Man! (She puts her hands on the side of her face. Spandex Man can be heard giggling in the background.)
___________________________________________
	(Spandex Man is sitting on the couch with two pillows in his hands. Hitler can be seen dancing in the background for a couple seconds.)
SPANDEX MAN: Aaaah! (Smashes his face in between the two pillows.) Iii! Goo goo! (Smashes his face again.) Ooooooo!
___________________________________________
	(Hitler is standing up looking at something to the right of the camera.)
HITLER: (In a gay voice.) Oh, yay. Spandex. (Makes a sexeh hand gesture at Spandex Man who almost enters the scene.)
___________________________________________
	(Hitler is standing up facing the camera from a distance.)
HITLER: I learned a valuable lesson today. (Spandex Man slowly walks onto the scene like a creepy old lady.) Just cuz� your opponent goes Super Sayin on your ass� (Pushes Spandex Man off the scene again.) doesn�t mean you should go Super Sayin. (Feels his head.) My hair is stuck like this forever!
	(Spandex Man approaches the camera threateningly.)

Credits (As they appear in the show.)

Spandex Man
Cast
Spandex Man � Nick Palmieri
Hitler � Kenneth Nelson
Town�s Person #1 � Kelly Nelson
Town�s Person #2 � Clarissa Palmieri
Store Keeper � Town�s Person #1
Town�s Person #3 � Emily Palmieri
Announcer � Kyle Nelson
Crew
Camera Operator � Kyle Nelson
Emily Palmieri
Director � Kyle Nelson
Emily Palmieri
Costume Design � Nick Palmieri
Emily Palmieri
Script Author � Nick Palmieri
Main Supervisor � Clarissa Palmieri
Video Editor � Kyle Nelson
Emily Palmieri
Music/Sound � Kyle Nelson
Project Manager � SUCKED
Filmed � 2004-2006

(As the credits are rolling the camera films Nick�s cut on his big toe, the cut on Kenneth�s foot being picked at with a paper clip, a piece of footage from Nick�s leopard speech where Clarissa peeks into the scene, the cut on Kenneth�s foot again, and the blister on the back of Clarissa�s ankle.)
___________________________________________
	(Nick is spraying Kenneth�s hair with hairspray. Kenneth glances at the camera.)
NICK: (Speaking with a German accent.) I am lovin� it osht!
CAMERA PERSON: Behind the scenes footage.
	(A piece of footage from Nick�s leopard speech cuts into the scene. Camera Person is making an odd face at the camera. Back to Nick spraying Kenneth�s hair.)
NICK: (Something that sounds like fake German.)
KENNETH: Vina shnizel.
CAMERA PERSON: Wow.
KENNETH: It burns my eyes.
	(Nick sprays Kenneth�s head in silence for a while.)
KENNETH: I can�t breath. (Puts his hand over his mouth and nose and does the Darth Vader sound effects.)
CAMERA PERSON: There�s a big glob on the front.
____________________________________________
	(Nick is facing Kenneth.)
NICK: (Slowly walks towards Kenneth threateningly. Kenneth steps backwards. Camera pans with them.) Man, my fried chicken, cornbread cuz� you had my bitch in there last night, NICCA and you�re all doin� that fowl ass shit!
	(Nick walks away like nothing happened and nods politely to the camera. Kenneth makes a frightened noise. Nick starts giggling and makes �kitty� gestures at the camera.)
_____________________________________________
	(Kenneth is standing on the scene when Nick enters.)
NICK: (Pats Kenneth on the chest. In a gay voice.) Puppy dog. Think puppy dog.
_____________________________________________
NICK: (Talks over video from the cut on Nick�s big toe to the Camera Person saying �Wow.�) Man, see if it ain�t leopard, I don�t touch that! No leopard! No touchy! And if you touch it now, I�ll throw in the free Jesus air freshener, man! Yeah, man! Hey! Hey! Colombians, man. Leopard. You touch the leopard. I don�t fuck with it if it ain�t leopard. Leopard! LEOPARD! (Whispers) Leopard, leopard. (Talks) It�s like a leopard. You touch it like a leopard. You touch is like a leopard.

THE END

Page Created: 11-18-05
Last Update: 2-25-07
Created by: Emily Palmieri

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws