Title: The Burdens We Carry

Author: Kristin Johnson

Series: DSN

Codes: B/Sloan

Rating: [R]

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to Viacom. If I wanted to try to make money off these characters, I'd have done "Free Enterprise" or something.

Summary: Julian Bashir's love life lands him in more intrigue with Section 31...

Feedback: Send to Kristin Johnson

Beta: SPECIAL THANKS TO: T'Lin, for encouragement and beta-reading

Note: TIMING: 7th season DS9, before the Final Chapter. Part of the Doctor Fuh-q Fest.

The Burdens We Carry

SETTING: The outside of Julian Bashir's quarters. Julian leans against his door. A Caitian female kisses him goodnight. It's a dismissive kiss, and Julian's face says this is another empty date. The Caitian female leaves, and Julian sighs as he enters his quarters. He doesn't see a figure hidden in the shadows. The corridor is otherwise deserted.

JULIAN: Well, at least I always have my medical reports.

SETTING: Julian's bedroom, 2500 hours. Julian lies absolutely exhausted and in deep slumber on his bed. There's a Dominion War medical requisitions PADD on his bed. His uniform lies tangled on the floor. The focus is on his face as he tosses and turns, for some reason unable to lie peacefully. He jolts awake, looks around, starts to lie down again, sits up again.

JULIAN: Lights! (long exasperated sigh as lights come on, revealing Sloan in his usual mysterious perch by the window) I was counting on company tonight, but this was not what I expected.

SLOAN (makes direct eye contact longer than he needs to): Good evening, Doctor. I gather the date didn't work out.

JULIAN: Good thing. Otherwise, life would be really awkward right now. (suddenly cool) But you didn't come here to talk about my personal life--or lack thereof.

SLOAN: Actually....

JULIAN: What? My love-life is a threat to the Federation?

SLOAN: Yes.

(Long, disbelieving silence.)

JULIAN: And here I thought you couldn't shock me any more. What happened? Was she working for the Dominion? That doesn't make any sense. She didn't even try to seduce me.

SLOAN: No, we took care of that.

(Another pause while Julian tries not to fidget)

JULIAN: And her? No, on second thought, I don't even want to know any more.

SLOAN (changes subject): Of course, we can't do that for everything on two legs--male or female--that catches your eye. Our agents do have other responsibilities.

JULIAN (reacts subtly to "male or female"): Not every person I date is a security risk.

SLOAN: Oh, really. There's no telling what could have happened if the Betazoid attache had actually carried out her plan to blackmail Vulcan with the gossip you'd heard from Jadzia Dax---

JULIAN: What gossip?

SLOAN: The Federation Council...the Orion slave girl...

(uncomfortable silence)

JULIAN: That was never substantiated. (hiding the blush) Who's next?

SLOAN: Sarina Douglas. We can't have two genetically enhanced people breeding. But we didn't interfere that time. We knew it wouldn't last. It was too perfect.

JULIAN (groans): What about Leeta? Surely she's not a security risk?

SLOAN (grins): You've got me there. But there are others. Tom Paris, a known criminal and traitor...

JULIAN: Rehabilitated! A stable, productive member of Voyager's crew! Who do we have next--Dukat?

SLOAN: Why, you surprise me, I hadn't thought you would admit to it. You have very...eclectic...tastes. Fortunately for you, I won't tell Colonel Kira.

JULIAN: She understands. Dukat had me up against a wall...

(long pause as Sloan looks deadpan)

JULIAN: Ah...ummm...well, you know what I mean. Anyone else?

SLOAN: The Venusian last month...known biogenics dealer...seven months ago, the Iotian...he was planning to 'hit' Admiral Ross...

(Julian deliberately doesn't react.)

SLOAN (continues): Three years ago, the Bolian doctor you met at a medical conference...working for the Bolian equivalent of Section 31...

JULIAN (snorts): And Garak of course...

SLOAN: Ah yes. A known Cardassian spy...fortunately, you refused to let him get too close, and he was just using you as a diversion...until you found out the truth about his past...

JULIAN (uncomfortable): That was six years ago! I was naive... (regains indignation) Is this what your file on me says? Is this what you've been studying? I find that a little invasive, even for you.

SLOAN: We like to create a complete profile. (intense look that Julian returns defiantly) We're very thorough when someone attracts our interest.

JULIAN: So who's next? Ezri?

SLOAN (shakes his head, grinning): You never give up, do you? She's not for you. Besides...she's interested in Worf.

JULIAN (temporarily speechless): Well. Thank you for this review of my misspent life.

SLOAN: I almost forgot. Any of these...errors in judgment...are forgivable. Your interest in a married man, however...

JULIAN: Oh, who would that be?

SLOAN: Miles O'Brien. I'm surprised you're not more discreet, Doctor. Do you know what the breakup of his family could do to him-- and to the crew? It's a dangerous mistake in wartime.

(Julian has had enough. He leaps up and stalks toward Sloan.)

JULIAN: Not as dangerous as I am right now...

(Sloan, who has planned this, moves swiftly. In a blur, Sloan is back in the usual chair with Julian sprawling intimately across his lap. Julian seems to have difficulty with speech as he's held with a casual possessiveness.)

JULIAN: I didn't know you cared.

SLOAN: I'm preserving Federation security, Doctor.

JULIAN (suddenly breathing harder): Like hell. You're a damn voyeur. Put me down.

SLOAN: Oh, don't be so tight-assed, Julian. (suggestive pause as his hand disappears for a long time) On second thought...

JULIAN: I knew these midnight visits weren't standard procedure.

SLOAN: You did say you didn't want to be alone.

JULIAN: You lying, manipulative, sneaky---

SLOAN: Stop, I'm blushing. (touches Julian's cheek) And so are you.

Your skin feels so warm...like heated silk.

JULIAN: Go to hell!

SLOAN (definite smirk): All that passion, and it's wasted on darts and self-righteous speeches and pointless dinners at Quark's. I came here to wake you up. (pause, gentle touches) In more ways than one.

JULIAN (leans forward): You couldn't even begin to awaken me. All you can do is manipulate from behind the scenes. All you can do is watch.

(kiss, long pause during which Julian's hair gets pleasantly rumpled and the black leather uniform looks a bit too tight in places)

SLOAN: In this case...I prefer to be hands-on. From day one, I told the agency you need supervision. (pauses to look passionately into Julian's eyes) Close...personal...intense supervision.

JULIAN: I'm that dangerous?

SLOAN (touches Julian's face): Lethal. The innocence of a child...the mind of a Cardassian spy, and your eyes...(kisses his eyes) Long legs and lashes that should be illegal on any man... (kisses his neck) And fortunately for me, an irresistible fascination with all the wrong people.

(pause, kiss, kiss again)

JULIAN: I hate it when you're right.

SLOAN: Get used to it.

JULIAN: One of these days, I am going to win an argument with you.

But first...

(extremely long pause as Sloan gets kissed senseless, until both are quiet again, still resting in the chair.)

JULIAN: You really desire me that much?

SLOAN: Actually, no. I was trying to be convincing.

(pause as Julian looks hurt)

JULIAN: You had me going.

SLOAN: Of course, you're physically attractive...but I'm just doing my duty.

JULIAN: Ah yes. To protect the Federation.

SLOAN (smirk): The burdens I carry in order to protect the innocent.

(Julian blushes)

JULIAN: Well...never let it be said that I'm not a loyal Starfleet officer who would interfere with our sacred duty. I just might cooperate.

(pause as Julian gets held tightly)

SLOAN: Even with that, it won't be easy. I'll never be rid of you.

You're too much of a risk to be left alone...

JULIAN: How can I make the burden easier?

(Sloan grins wickedly, then whispers in Julian's ear. Julian gasps.)

JULIAN: That's blackmail. You are totally ruthless. You---

(Long pause as yet again, Julian gets silenced, and the lights mysteriously dim while doctor and spy embrace in the starlight.)

END