Tony: FAIR?! What about Bubba? What about Whitelight?
Harry: They had no significant impact on the match. The point is… there
was no chair… no object… Bubba maybe got one lick in on Chevs before the refs
pulled everything apart. Dr. A won this match based on his submission moves…
his sleeper hold… his moonsault and his finisher. There are no ifs, and or
butts- Dr. Abortion won this one!
Tony: Chevalier had him beat twice! That’s twice!
Drew: I dunno. Harry does have a point, Tony.
Tony: I can’t believe you’re taking his side. But there it is… No
swerve. No nothing. Just a cheap pin and a cheap win.
Harry: *Ahem*… here, I have my swerve list… written by me
before the match. It has potential candidates to come in and help Dr. Abortion
win the match.
…First… SPX. Seemed likely.
Maybe the two were having some secret communications backstage, and the
partnership was just to trick Chevy. His “off night” was all a trick to
surprise the fans. Maybe those gifts Baby Bubba left for SPX were the codes for
what to do.
…Next… Bez… from the last
show with the tag ending… it can make some sense. You never know!
…Moving on… Holyevil… maybe
the Holyevil death was all a trick, a premeditated plot to get at Chevy. No
luck there either.
…Next… Al Bradd, he-
Tony: Al Bradd?
Harry: Why not? It would have been funny. Or maybe Dr. Douglass. Maybe
Dr. Douglass and Dr. Abortion went to medical school together.
…Next… Return. Come on.
Return and Dr. A hate each other, and Dr. A says horrible things about Return all
the time, about him being old and such. Wouldn’t it have been crazy if Return
came out and helped the doc win, then he and Return would be some sort of
team?! No one would have seen it coming!!
Drew: Say… Return… isn’t he a teddy bear or something? Anyway, each one
of those endings sounds much more entertaining than this one. I wish you could
have been right Harry.
Tony: I think the mere fact that there was no swerve… no surprise
guest… is surprising in itself. A big match like this… everyone uses it for
some giant revelation… what did the doc have? Nothing.
Harry: I know… after all this and a… a… a PIN?! What a let down. But
you’re right… a screwjob, a run in… just too predictable and unoriginal for a
big match like this. The straight, normal end with a pin is much more unusual
than an unusual end itself. CRAZY!
In the elapsed time the Doc
from DC has found himself a microphone. Maybe he cuffed it from a wandering
vagabond, don’t ask me. The crowd settles down as the mic goes to his mouth.
Dr. A: Chevy… *breath*… you may not be able to hear me… but once
again… I proved myself the better man to you. Say what you want. Use
whatever excuse you wish. The Doc from DC won. You didn’t see chairs… you didn’t
hypodermic needles… no swerve… I never told those guys to come out here… and
they accomplished nothing. Absolutely nothing. You’ll use it as an excuse.
You’ll say you’re the better man. You’ll say “cheater.”
…I don’t care. Because I beat
you. I beat you wrestling. I am the Physician on a Mission… mission
accomplished.
He gasps for air one last
time, looks at the microphone again. Then he carelessly tosses it over his
shoulder and onto the floor below, breaking it. What a jerk.
Dr. A walks up the ramp,
Dedication Title in hand. He sees that guy with the “Dr. Abortion SUCKS” sign.
He grumbles… but then smiles a little when he hears the fan next to that fan
shouting.
Fan in Audience: NO! No Dr. Abortion! We want SPX! We want to see that fat fatty eat
pie!
Fade to End of Program. What comes on next? I
dunno. Monster Trucks or Rodeo or something.