The
Pyros blare and the music begins to blast. The SHOW’s big screen flashes the
Entrance Promo. Fans stand up and hold their signs. Its time for Friday
Washdown.
Tony: Hello Fans! Its Tony Jabronie along side Harry Nabisco. And welcome to Friday Washdown! Now Harry, tonight is the night of the Dedication Title Rematch between Chevalier and Dr. Abortion.
Harry: It is? And to think
I never marked my calendar!
Tony: … I don’t know how
to even respond to that.
Harry: Nevermind. Go on.
Tony: This match may be
the single biggest event in the SHOW for the month of December. You’ve seen the
promos and you’ve seen the two men go back and forth with each other. Tonight –
It’s the MAIN EVENT!
Harry: There’s no way
around it Tony, these two guys hate each other!
Tony: Well, Dr. Abortion
doesn’t like anyone. He’s a self-loving, conceited man with no morals. The last
Dedication Title match cannot be called “questionable,” because there was no
question about it – Dr. Abortion cheated to win.
Harry: I don’t know what
you’re talking about Tony… Dr. Abortion and Chevalier went into the match man
to man and the doc came out on top. He proved himself by winning Chevalier’s
Dedication gold.
Tony: Hardly. The
“Physician on a Mission,” as he calls himself, had to use every trick, every
short-cut he could to even put up a fight against Chevalier. Low blows, a
bribed French Ambassador, Whitelight, and Ms. Contraceptive. Its pathetic just
how low the doc had to go to just barely beat Chevalier.
Harry: I think Dr.
Abortion said it once, he said the ends were more important than the means.
If he got away with it, if he walked away with the title- does that not make
him the better man?
Tony: No it doesn’t make him the
better man! If you ask me, Dr. Abortion is in a lot of trouble tonight. That Dedication Title is bound to head back
to the hands of its rightful owner, Chevalier; even with whatever tricks the
doc had up his sleeves. And you know he does.
Harry: He always does,
Tony. He always does.
Tony: And fans, for the
Dedication Title bout we have two special guests…
Harry: Have our ratings
really got that bad?
Tony: Shhh, Harry… Now, as I was saying… making a
special guest appearance to call the match with us is, none than other, Drew
Carey!
Harry: You mean Drew Carey
of the “Drew Carey Show” and the immensely popular, “Whose Line is it Anyway?”
Tony: Is there any other
Drew Carey?
Harry: I’m not sure. I
haven’t watched that guy’s show since that chic on it, Kate, starting getting
older and fatty.
Tony: But that’s not all,
a former SHOW employee is coming back. Former Head of Security, Al Racino is
back as the special guest referee.
Harry: Say, how do you
think the new security guy feels about that?
Tony: New guy? Strange. I
haven’t met him yet.
Harry: Me neither, but SPX
keeps telling me how he’s never there when you need him. Vacant, I think
his name is. I was talking with SPX in the back and he told me that this kid
runs up to him all the time and screams stuff like, “eat some more pie, you
fatty fat fatty,” and this Vacant guy is nowhere in sight to push back the
fans.
Tony: Perhaps the
government should federalize security here too.
Harry: Maybe.
Tony: Chevalier has made many
complaints about the lax security here in the SHOW himself.
Harry: So why hire a guy
who got fired for not doing his job right then?
Tony: He’s had to
hire his own people just to get a fair match around here. With the likes of Dr.
Abortion, NC, OVER and Prototype, who have been here within the past several
months, it’s no wonder.
Harry: So what are you
saying, Tony? Spit it out.
Tony: I’m saying, that if
Al Racino can call a fair match, can prevent some horrible interference from
occurring and make it on fair playing grounds, then he might just earn the
right of his job back. It’s a possibility.
Harry: Well he does work
for Chevy… how could that be fair? And also, do you think he even wants his job
back?
Tony: I don’t know. And
not to changing the topic… but before we get to the first match of the night,
which is just a few moments away fans, the SHOW production crew suggested that
we run a little montage, a collage if you will, of the history of these two
guys – Chevalier and Dr. Abortion.
Harry: It hasn’t been a
long fight, but it sure has been a bitter one.
It cuts to footage of a Tag Match between
Whitelight and Dr. Abortion and Chevalier and Tekno.
Tony: There it is! The
Mailed Fist of the Just on Dr. Abortion! The cover… 1… 2… 3!!!
Slow
motion. Chevalier stands up with the Tag Titles. Dr. Abortion coughs some
blood. New scene; Dr. A stands next to IP Freely. Every time I go “…” it means we cut to a new
clip. Yeah.
Dr. A: That’s
right Chevy, just like when I kidnapped you in the CCW – you’ll be doomed. Only
this time there will be no Bagelguy dressed as a Mexican to save you.
…
Chevalier: In the
end… there can be only JUSTICE!
…
Dr. A: This is
going to be a pushover. Chevalier will be easy to defeat. The Dedication Title
is mine.
…
Tony: 1… 2… 3! I can’t believe
it! Dr. Abortion has stolen it! The French Embassy is gone! Dr. Abortion is the
Dedication Champion!
…
Dr. A: -I am
better than Chevalier…
…
Tony: …And the cover…
YES! Chevalier retains! Chevalier has beaten the doc in a fair match and has
kept his STAR HEAT Title!
…
Chevalier: Doc, I am
better than you. And I can prove it.
…
Dr. A: It is fear
in your eye-
…
Chevalier: -It is not
fear that fills my heart, it is focus.
…
-I did take you too lightly.
…
Dr. A: …You
underestimate everyone, this is your problem-
…
I will cheat to win.
…
Chevalier: -He HAS TO cheat! I expect him to cheat. He's even admitted he's
not as good as me-
…
Dr. A: I never
admitted that you were better than me-
…
The doc is smarter-
…
I won.
…
Chevalier: Any two-bit hood can swing a chair!
…
I am a better wrassler.
…
His first defense of the title will be his
last.
…
Dr. A: -The ends… not the means… are what lives on in history-
…
Chevalier: His last
cut just shows me he's getting worried about our impending battle.
…
Dr. A: You wished you had gained half the respect and admiration I
have-
…
Chevalier: -I am the
ultimate outsider.
…
Dr. A: I humiliated you to get your title-
…
beg for my mercy in the Dedication Title
Match.
…
Chevalier: I may not end up with Doc's respect. But I will end up
with his title!
The
screen freezes and the dramatic music playing in the background ends. The black
and white turns to color as a graphic comes up: “Chevalier Vs. Dr. Abortion
II.”
The
cameras cut back to the announcer’s table.
Harry: Impressive.
Tony: Right. But we’ve
got a whole lot of other show here tonight here on Friday Washdown!
Suddenly,
some music kicks. It’s the first match of the night. Tidus versus Lynx. Or
something.
Tony: And the opening
fight is about to begin! Here comes Tidus… or Lynx… I can’t tell. They both
look like RVD.
The competitor, whichever he is, begins
walking down the ramp. And this is where we depart.